The Reaper
by Queen Of The War Flowers
Summary: "It's a warning," he said, looking over the city he'd once called home. "It's warning that the Reaper is back." Aha, I hummed, clasping a hand on what I was looking for and pulled the mask from the crevice. My old friend, I've missed you. I turned and they were all staring at me, wide-eyes. Poor naive kids. "When I told you I ran the Underground, I meant it."
1. Why I don't socialize

**Hey everyone! I know it's been a while since I posted and everything I had on this account from before has been deleted, but I'm back with a new story. I'm trying to write more chapters before uploading them so I'll have a steady flow of updates, but bear with. I'm atrocious at uploading. This upload is sort of a tester, to see if people are actually wanting more so don't forget to like and review, to let me know what you want. Anywho, I hope you enjoy!**

 **-TheQueenOfTheWarFlowers**

 **A/N: After talking with Kawaii-Anya, she brought to my attention that I'd gotten myself mixed up on the Survey Corps and the Cadet Corps and that messed up the time-line of the story, [and made it so the story itself didn't quite make sense]. I've gone back and edited all of the chapters so they're hopefully more correct and make more sense. Something I did want to touch on though is, I know that the Cadet Corps is a completely different section to the Survey Corps, [and on different locations], but for the sake of this story and the plot I wrote, I'm having the Cadet Corps on the Survey Corps compound, so I can have Erwin, Levi and characters like that close to Salem. I know I'm messing with the story and time-line, but hopefully this makes things a little more clear and by all means, if you get confused or think that part of the story doesn't make sense, message me and I'll do my best to explain and correct as best as I can.**

I never thought I'd be enlisted in the Scouts. I wasn't cut out for following rules and orders, yet here I was. I'd been woken up by a less than amused guard and had been forced into restraints, then lead out to the courtyard, where the rest of my prison mates were waiting. They'd lined us up like cattle going in for slaughter and marched us onto multiple wagons, which had taken us to another courtyard. My new home; the Survey Corps compound. Granted, I had to graduate from the Cadet Corps first, but to me that was an even more depressing thought.

It hadn't been my choice to enlist in the Cadet Corps . The oh so wise Commander had decided that forcing sentenced non-violent prisoners to enlist in the Cadet Corps, train and graduate as part of a dispensable squad, was a good idea. As much as I hated it, I couldn't deny that it wasn't a smart and tactical idea. Why waste the lives of "good" soldiers, when they had prisons filled with people who didn't matter? Part of me failed to understand how Eyebrows was going to make this work. No way was he going to let us roam free, so how was he going to contain us? And another thing that didn't make sense to me was that I was being transported with them. I wasn't a non-violent offender, in fact, everything I was sentenced for was based on violence and yet Eyebrows had requested my presence. A member of the military police had said that I was a special request. That Commander was a basket-case for sure.

They called me the Reaper. A nickname concocted by terrified village dwellers, who'd seen the aftermath of my work. It was pathetic really and though I tried to shake the name, it followed me wherever I went. Eventually, I ended up adopting the name, enjoying the fear it instilled in people when they heard it.

It consumed me; it became my worth. Everything that I stood for. I hadn't been anyone until I put on the mask. Nobody cared until I made a name for myself and I promised myself I'd make them pay for that. I wanted people to fear me. I got off on it, but now I'm stuck in this shithole. My entire identity washed down the drain. They stripped me of my mask, but I was no less feared. You see, the thing is, when a villain has mask, it's easy to forget that they are human. When that mask is removed, and everyone sees the person underneath, you start to realize that humans are monsters and they too, can do unforgivable things.

I eyed the Scouts who were lined up around us, gawking like we were animals in a zoo. How pathetic they'd become. Quiet whispers erupted throughout the compound. Apparently, they don't see criminals that often, I thought bitterly. Among the whispers I heard my name. Here we go again.

 _Isn't that the Reaper…_

 _I heard they finally caught the Reaper, but I didn't believe it until now…_

 _I thought the Reaper would be more intimidating…_

If they thought I was harmless, why had they insisted on having me chained to two guards, with four more flanking my sides, and had muzzled me? These soldiers were supposed to be protecting humanity, yet they were afraid of little old me. We're all doomed.

I surveyed the room, noting all the exits and the three figures standing on a small podium. Erwin, or Eyebrows as I had named him, was standing in the middle with a midget of a man standing on his left and an overly excited woman on his right. The man looked less than amused about being here; you and me both. In Erwin's shadow, the man looked tiny. No wonder he looked like someone shit in his breakfast. His gaze swept over the room and connected with mine, so we were both glaring at each other angrily. I winked vindictively then moved on down the line.

I moved my eyes over to the woman who was shifting around like a child who needed a piss. What the hell was her problem? She had large circular glasses obscuring, what seemed like half of her face and messy hair someone would have, if they hadn't slept in days. What the hell was I being forced into? They were watching the line of offenders, assessing what they were working with and who was going into the Cadet Corps. When are they going to realize this was a bad idea?

One of my personal guards put his hand on my shoulder, shoving me forwards violently so I stumbled onto my knees. Son of a bitch. I pushed myself to my feet, getting a steady footing and kicked the guard angrily in the nuts; following it up with a swift knee to the nose when he hit the ground. His howls filled the almost silent room, making everyone turn to look at the commotion, but all I could focus on was the sound of my blood rushing in my ears. I'd make him beg me to stop. I tensed, going to stamp on his leg again, but a hand caught my leg and threw me backwards onto my ass. I landed unceremoniously with a loud thud on the ground, a dull pain exploding up my back. I was going to kill whoever had just fucking touched me.

A blind rage had taken over my body and I saw a deep, anger-filled red. I threw myself to my feet but was pushed back to the ground again, a hard kick landing itself in my gut. The air was pushed from my lungs, but I still pushed myself onto my feet again. Unchain me and see if it's a fair fight then.

Fuck off. It was that midget on the podium.

How the hell had he gotten here so fast? And why the hell was he getting involved in shit that didn't concern him? He didn't look angry anymore; he looked bored. What the hell was his problem? If I could have made understandable noises under this mask, I would have told him to fuck off, but it seemed the Military police had been longing for my silence, for a while. I readied myself for a fight, but he moved quickly, landing another blow in my side. I keeled over, pushing my hands against the ground to push myself back up, but a hand wrapped itself around my throat.

"I'd stay down if I was you" he threatened, bending down low so he could whisper it in my ear. I met his gaze and glared angrily but stayed down. I couldn't do much in chains but just wait until I'm free, I thought. "Disgusting little shit," he continued, the annoyance clear on his face. He looked like touching me caused him physical harm. "Now get up and get back in line or I'll drag you there myself."

My glare never left his gaze as I got back to my feet, shaking his grip angrily. I can walk on my own, I thought. It was then I noticed that though he was midgety, he still stood a few inches taller than me. He seemed happy enough that I wasn't going to kick someone else and marched back to his podium, a bored look on his face. Maybe I wasn't the only psychotic one here.

The guards moved the line onward, further into the compound, but Eyebrows had other ideas for me apparently.

"Over here" he called, motioning the guards over with a wave of his arm. The guards changed direction with a tug of my chains and we left the line, heading towards him instead. I wonder what he wants this time?

I'd met Eyebrows once before and that was when I was first imprisoned, two years ago. I'd just been processed and led into a holding room where Eyebrows was already waiting for me. Him and his stupid file filled with everything he knew about me. I was stuck in the same damn room as his him for four hours, barely answering his questions and insulting him every chance I got. And now he wanted my presence again. Aren't I popular today?

"Take her to my office" he said when we reached him, motioning to a side door into a building. Oh joy. I had to spend even more time with Commander Eyebrows. Could my day get any better? I eyed the midget man as I passed, smirking under the mask at his scowl. His stature stirred something in my mind. I'm supposed to know him, I thought. But why though? Don't think he likes me much either.

They forced me through the door and down corridor after corridor, until we reached what I could only assume was Eyebrows office. The guards forced me into the room and onto one of the chairs, removing the chains from their wrists and onto the arms of the chair. I winked at one of the guards, who tightened the chains painfully. Douchebag.

What I didn't expect was the guards to exit the room, leaving me alone and unattended. Apparently, the Scouts lacked common sense. I managed to get out of the chains in less than fifty seconds, almost breaking my record of thirty-eight seconds and I began wandering around his office. I'd expected more… grandeur, with Eyebrows being Commander and all. But it was simple and humble. Of course, it was. I shuffled over to his bookcase, examining its contents, picking the books up and flicking through the pages. My reading had never been great. Sebastian had started teaching me, but we ran out of time. I was half way down the page when the doorknob rattled, turning to reveal Eyebrows and two guards. Well shit.

"It seems more guard-presence is needed" Eyebrows noted, his eyes twinkling mischievously while motioning to his guards. I sighed annoyingly behind the mask, moving back to the chair while holding my arms out to be cuffed. The guards chained me back to the chair and our meeting began.

"Good morning, Salem" Eyebrows said, taking a seat behind his desk. He pulled a file from one of the draws, opened it and skimmed through its contents in silence. That stupid fucking file. Why does he always have that stupid file? "Could you remove her facial restraints?"

The guard looked skeptical but followed his orders. He yanked my face side-wards and undid the mask, freeing my face. Fucking finally. I cracked my jaw in a feeble attempt to relieve the built-up tension. Stupid muzzle. "Didn't think you were in to bondage, Erwin?"

"Positive as ever" he fired back, no hint of amusement in his voice. He still hadn't taken his eyes off the file and the silence was starting to irritate me. I started yanking on the chains repeatedly, the loud jangling and clanging echoing in the silent room. I did this repeatedly until his nose crinkled and he rubbed his eyes wearily. So, he did have a breaking point? He composed himself and motioned for the guards to leave. I wonder what I've done now. At least we finally get some alone time now. Once the guards were gone and had closed the door, I kicked my legs up onto his desk and folded my arms behind my head.

"How's it hanging, Smith?" He raised his eyes from the file, a disapproving look on his face, so I sighed dramatically and put my legs back on the floor. "Yeah, yeah I know. I'm supposed to be on my best behavior. I remember what you said. I slip up sometimes; I'm only human."

A small smile played at the corner of his lips. I saw that Eyebrows. It's something he told me on his last visit. Be on your best behavior, he said. I'm not sure why. I was being sent to prison for a list of crimes as long as my arm and he was telling me to be on my best behavior? It was pretty comical.

"How have you been?"

I grinned and leant forwards, showing him a long scar on my neck. He eyed it carefully, waiting for an explanation once I'd tied my shirt up again. "Got this one in a fight with a one-legged thief. He tried stealing my rations and I wasn't having that. I may have gotten this, but he now has three less fingers."

Eyebrows listened in thoughtful silence while I rattled on, waiting until I'd finished, to continue, "It's healing nicely," he commented, finally closing that damn file. "Now for the reason I called you in. I thought we should discuss the terms of your enrollment in the Cadet Corps."

My enrollment in the Cadet Corps? As if I was a willing participant in his latest scheme? I let his comment slide, it's not worth it, I told myself. I let him continue his speech. He definitely loves his own voice.

"I assume you want to know why you were requested as part of this program, "he said, watching my closely. "Especially since you're not a non-violent offender."

At least he's going to tell me, I thought. "I've been curious."

"I've been in close contact with your warden," he said, and I sat back in my chair, listening silently for once. "And to my surprise, he commented on how you've been keeping to yourself lately and you haven't been getting into as many fights." Wait, he's been keeping tabs on what I've been doing? And what's me not getting into as many fights got to do with being dragged from my cell and forced into the Scouts? "I took that as an example that you are ready to improve your behavior and re-enter society, and after presenting my case to Nile Dok, he agreed to suspend your sentence and allow you to join the Cadet Corps."

What the shit fuck? Erwin fucking Smith fought my case and got my sentence suspended, just so I can join the fucking Corps? What the hell is wrong with this man? "Why are you protecting me?"

Why would he willingly request my presence as a Scout? He knows what I've done and that I was sentenced to death… so why did he save me?

"I don't think you're as guilty as the world thinks you are" he said, all cryptic and shit. The hell does that mean? "And as for your safety, I have made all files on your personal details, history, crimes and sentencing private, so that only you and I can access them."

What the hell? I don't understand why he's protecting me. I didn't have a chance to question his decision because the midgety man strode through the door, the bored expression still plastered on his face. Oh joy.

"I didn't think animals were allowed to join the Cadet Corps."

"And I thought you had to be at least five feet to join the Survey Corps, so I guess we're both wrong." That pissed shorty off, but he held his tongue. Eyebrow trained him well.

Well isn't this a hoot? Now I was stuck in a room with an arrogant asshole and a loony. Aren't I a lucky gal? They better get a move on, I have better things to do… I think?

"I did what you asked" Shorty said, moving the chair next to me, away so he could sit down. Childish twat. "Now why am I here? What's so important that you couldn't wait?"

"I'd like you to meet Salem" Eyebrows said, watching us both carefully. Okay, now I was getting anxious. Why was it so important that I met Shorty, over there? "I'm putting here under your command for the time being. She'll train with the other Cadets, but she'll answer to you" Fuck off. I was being forced with Shorty? I think I'd rather go back to my cell in prison.

"I don't want to deal with her shit," Short spat, eyeing me with disgust. How arrogant can one person be? "I only deal with the best of the Scouts. She is not the best."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "You're assuming I want to join you the Cadet Corps or the Survey Corps. I'm just as opposed to this as you."

He made a clicking noise with his tongue, one I attempted and failed to replicate. He threw his arms in the air and groaned out loud. "Just look at her" he cried in frustration, while I still tried to replicate the noise. This brought me out of me bubble, but I just winked and laid back in the chair. If I could've folded my arms I would have, but those stupid chains were the bane of my existence. "She doesn't even look she has two brain-cells rubbing around in her head." Oh, is he still talking?

I turned my gaze to Eyebrows, an eyebrow raised but he kept his face passive. I assume Shorty's rants didn't happen often.

I was still mulling over the fact the Commander of the Scouts, had personally vouched for my character, and had suspended my sentence, just because he didn't think I was as guilty as everyone else did. Eyebrows was wrong there, I thought. I'm guiltier than the list of crimes I was sentenced for, but he didn't need to know that. So long as my empire was untouched and working as well as it had been before I was snatched, I could rest easy.

"That's enough, Levi." Eyebrows had finally intervened with Shorty's ranting. Thank the gods for that. My ears were starting to hurt. So, Shorty's name was Levi? Wasn't expecting that. I was expecting a Sheldon or at least something that fit his shitty personality. But it made sense now. I know why I was supposed to know him. He was Levi Ackerman; humanities strongest. I was expecting... more. Shorty and Eyebrows had known each other a while, to address each other so informally. "I'm putting her under you command and that's final. You'll oversee her progress and ensure she follows our rules. Understood?"

"Understood" Shorty replied, gritting his teeth in annoyance. You and me both, buddy. You and me both.

Erwin then tuned to me, a small frown on his face. Papa Scout wasn't happy, I thought. I wonder what I've done? "As for you, Salem. For the time being, restraints will be a necessary precaution until we can assure the safety of the other Cadets and Scouts. A special room has been set aside for you where you will be able to have the solitude I know you're so fond of. I trust that you will behave yourself to the best of your ability and I will be keeping a close eye on you. Is that understood?"

Shorty scoffed in the corner, but I ignored him. He was sulking like a child. "Best behavior," I said, grinning madly.

A small smile graced Eyebrows lips. "Then it's settled. Take her to the room. Get her up to speed on everything she needs to know." Shorty reached for the door, not bothering to hold it open for me. What a swell guy? "Oh, and Salem." I stopped, turning to look at Eyebrows again. "I expect great things from you. Just have a little faith and trust in the people around you." I raised a questioning eyebrow, but he didn't elaborate so I closed the door, even more confused than before. I scanned the corridor for Shorty, but he was nowhere in sight. I did however, notice the same woman with the shitty glasses from before, bouncing on her feet as if waiting for something.

Oh god. Two, in one day. The moment I closed the door, she came bounding over with a giant grin on her face. Is she the Scouts personal pet or something? Nobody has ever been this excited to see me. Like ever?

"Hi, my name is Hange" she said, holding out an outstretched hand, which I shook hesitantly. "Levi asked me to show you around the place, get you up to speed and whatnot. What's your name?"

Jesus Christ, she talks fast. It took me a moment to realize she'd stopped talking and had started walking. I wasn't surprised Levi had cut and run. I think he'd developed a burning hatred for me already, one which I could reciprocate, so he'd probably gone to relive his childish anger somewhere. It's not like I wanted to join the Cadet Corps or have him oversee my training. Hell, I didn't even want to be here, but it was my last option. "My name's Salem."

I had no need to make friends in this shithole. I especially didn't need to make friends with 'I-can't-sit-still-over-there'. Talking wasn't my best quality. The only time I opened my mouth these days, was to insult someone. Why I don't have friends is beyond me.

"That's a pretty name" she continued, almost as if I hadn't even spoken. "Erwin has set up a separate wing of one of our blocks for the offender rookies, where there will be a guard presence at all times." Smart man. I wonder if it will be like the prison? Guards 24/7, locked doors and isolation. Part of me craved the same atmosphere as the prison had. I missed it. "You'll be in that block, but Erwin has set up a separate space for you. You must be special to get that sort of treatment."

I was starting to think the same thing. What Commander went to this much effort to get a criminal into his squads, while giving them a separate space just as they preferred and constantly kept vouching that you weren't as bad as the books said? Did he know something I didn't?

"Anyway," she said, turning left and opening a door for me. "Though there are locks on your door, so long as you give your guards a heads up, you have free roam of the compound; just like the other rookies. Everyday you'll have training in hand-to-hand combat and 3DMG gear training with Officer Shadis, the head of the 104th training Corps and various chores to complete by the end of the day. Meal times are at 6am and 4pm and you'll be escorted to the dinner hall for that. Have I forgotten anything else?"

I really hope not, I thought. She could talk for half of the soldiers here. We'd finally reached what looked to be the prisoner block. There weren't as many guards as I thought there would be, but the moment we entered, we were flanked by two guards who were eyeing my suspiciously.

"Hello Merche; Shobha," Glasses greeted, completely oblivious to the distrust they'd already placed on me. We carried on down the hall until we reached a metal door that was away from the rest of the rooms. Both guards stationed themselves by the door, weapons ready to fire and Glasses stood in front of me. "And this is your room" Glasses said, opening the door to reveal a simple dorm room. There was a wooden cot with an old thin blanket and pillow, an old wooden desk and chair and a single window. Isn't this the picture of luxury? I scoffed and moved into the room, deciding that the window was just big enough that I would be able to wiggle through. That'll come in handy later, I thought. "I know it isn't much- "  
"-It'll do," I said, interrupting her quickly. I'd never been one for complicated things. I didn't need a luxurious room because I didn't plan on staying long. Making ties and connections to things only lead to pain. It wasn't worth it. "I'm not one for personal things."

I wasn't facing her, but I knew she was still standing there. Man, she was persistent. I moved to the bed and laid down, folding my arms under my head and watched her expectantly. "Anything else I can help you with?"  
"Oh," she scrambled, realizing she'd been staring into space. "For today you'll be exempt from chores and training, but tomorrow your day starts at 5:30 sharp. Oh, and try not to get into too much trouble".

I saluted mockingly and watched her disappear down the corridor. She was batshit insane, I thought, closing my eyes wearily. I'd done too much socializing today. It didn't take me long to fall asleep. I could sleep anywhere.

I was woken by a loud banging and opened my eyes to see a guard standing by the door; I think this one was Merche. Son of a bitch. It took me a moment to remember where I was, but when I did, I groaned and flopped back down on the bed. I hate this shithole already. "Fuck off".

I heard the guard walk away from the door and I thanked my lucky stars, deciding that more sleep couldn't hurt and was just drifting off when I was flipped from my bed, landing unceremoniously on the ground with a thump. "What the hell?"

I rounded on none other than Captain Shorty, who was smirking down at me with hatred in his eyes. Of course, Corporal Asshat had to come and ruin my day, I got to my feet, breathing angrily as anger filled my body and I stepped forwards, so our faces were inches apart. "Problem, Cadet?"

Oh, I was going to smack his stupid little face. The sarcasm and enjoyment was evident in his voice, that son of a bitch is enjoying this. I grit my teeth, clenching and un-clenching my fists in an attempt to calm down. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of having my anger. He's not worth it, I told myself. He's not worth your anger. "Not at all. So, you're the Levi Ackerman?" I said, staring at him with an eyebrow raised. I thought he'd be taller. How can he kill anything when you're that short?

"And you're the Reaper?"

I scoffed at his childish response. I didn't think I'd find someone who was more childish than me, but apparently here he was, standing right in front of me. The scowl never left my face. I didn't really appreciate being thrown from my bed unceremoniously. Fucking asshat. I moved past him, running a hand through my now messy hair and pulled it up into a messy bun. I didn't care much for appearances either apparently. "Can I help you, Shorty?"

Now that was a mistake.

He turned, faster than I expected and grabbed the collar of my shirt, forcing me up against the wall. His breathing was ragged and angry. Boy I'd pissed Shorty off this time. Just wait till you have to spend more than five minutes with me, then you'll understand how annoying I can be. "You are to refer to me as Captain or Sir" he said, malice clear in his voice. Here we go; the I'm important, I demand you respect me speech. I was a firm believer that respect should only be given when earned and so far, Shorty had earned negative amounts of my respect. "Erwin might have been lenient on you, but I am certainly not interested in dealing with your shit, brat. So, learn fast, because the moment you step out of line, I'm done with you. Why Erwin chose me to oversee your training is beyond me, but I'm not going to deal with your shit. Not now. Not ever."

"Are you always this emotional?" I questioned, smirking up at him. Yeah, I know. Pissing him off even more probably wasn't going to work in my favor, but god it was fun watching him get angry. It was always funny watching people get angry. "I mean don't you have a reputation of being an emotionless ass? All I see is a raging ball of emotions and a side of psycho."  
What I wasn't expecting was him to smack me, my head being thrown to the side violently. Cunt! I grit my teeth angrily, my entire body shaking. I could beat him to the floor; turn his stupid little face into a pile of bloody minced meat, but I'm a good girl.

I'll do what I'm told… for now.

"Step out of line again" he hissed, smoothing his shirt angrily; as if the wrinkles his slap caused was my fault. "And I'll feed you to the titans myself. Got it?"

"Ay Ay, Sir."

Okay. Yes, I know I wasn't doing myself any favors, but he kept offering my opportunities to piss him off. I had to make my time here fun somehow, and he just made it so easy. My cheek was still stinging from his hit and I knew I'd bruise, but I kept my mouth shut, my teeth clenched in anger. If this is the game he wants to play, I'll make sure I win.

"Now get your ass down to the mess hall" he hissed, moving out of the way of the door. "Before I drag you by your hair. Got it, brat?"

Jesus. Alright. Alright. I'm fucking going. I moved to the door and the same guard from before was waiting for me, wrist restraints held out ready for me. I glanced at Levi, who was smirking happily and rolled my eyes. Of course, he'd enjoy this. He probably gets off on it.

Once the restraints were securely in place, I was lead down corridor after corridor, watching all of the other prisoners as we past them; they still kept their distance. It's good that they remember the harsh lesson they learnt back when I was first sentenced. The guards, Merche and Shobha I recall their names being lead me to the mess hall, the room I'd been in earlier, but it was now lined with tables. The room was already pretty full when I arrived, and filled with idle chatter, but when they noticed me walk in, the chatter died instantly. In fact, the entire room fell silent. Oh joy; an audience. Pay no attention to them, I told myself as I got my food and sat down at an empty table. The guards ate with me, which was surprising, but we ate in silence. The noise had picked up again, but every so often I heard my name being thrown around. Don't they have anything better to talk about?

The food was complete shit, but I kind of expected it. We were running out of rations throughout all the walls. People were starving to death everyday and the only people who ate properly were the royals. Those fucking royals. Neither Eyebrows, Shorty or Glasses had shown their faces while I was in the mess hall, but I figured they were having top secret meetings somewhere. I requested to go back to my room straight after I finished eating and a similar silence fell over the room as I left. Are we going to do this every time? Don't they have better things to do than act like terrified children around me? It's not like I'm going to jump every single one of them at this exact moment. Fuck me.

Once I was back in my room and the restraints had been removed, I flopped on the bed and kicked my boots off. They'd locked me in my room. I think they thought I couldn't hear the lock sliding into place, but I did. It didn't bother me that much, I still had the window. I wasn't going to attempt an escape just yet. I needed to scout, (ha get it, scout), the compound out first and then I'll decide when my next course of action is.

Despite being able to fall asleep easily before, sleep didn't come to me this time. Insomnia's a bitch, especially when you never know when it's gonna fuck up your sleeping schedule. I rolled around on the cot well into the night, until I decided that I'd had enough and forced myself out of my bed. I pulled my boots on and my jacket and pulled the window open, surprised that they hadn't locked it or at least added bars to the outside. I stuck my head out and decided that up was the way to go. Most of the Scouting compound was made out of old-timey bricks, which was good for me because that meant good climbing surface. I scaled the building, reaching the roof of the building and found a comfortable position, where I could look over the rest of the compound. I won't lie, its beautiful.

I pulled my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them tightly and sighed deeply. Hell of a first day, Salem. Eyebrows wants to protect you, Shorty wants to kill you and Hange is… well Hange. What the hell am I doing? Why the hell did I agree with Erwin's request? If I'm going to be gawked at like an animal in a fucking zoo, we're going to have problems. I miss my home. I miss Sebastian. I don't want to be here.

I lent my head on my knees and watched the bustling below me. Even at night, the compound was filled with life. Did the Survey Corps ever sleep? I bet Eyebrows is up somewhere, writing letters and devising new formations. I wonder what Shorty is doing? Probably beating the crap out of something or someone. I wonder what his problem is? How did he go from the King of Thieves to Eyebrows lapdog? I was familiar with his work as the King of Thieves in the Underground and he was infamous for not taking orders from anyone, but now, he was just another authorities bitch. Oh how the mighty fall.

I spent another three hours sitting on the roof before I decided I should finally try and get some sleep. I got to my feet and went for the edge of the roof, sliding over the edge and lowering myself onto the nearest stones. Once I had a steady footing, I started lowering myself until I reached my window and slid inside, straight into my bed. I pulled my boots off and disappeared under my blanket, finally managing to get at least an hour of good sleep.

 **2nd A/N: I went back and changed key parts of Erwin and Salem's conversation during their meeting because I realized I forgot to change the conversation after personally changing the plot. I also corrected myself on what section of the Corps she's joining. She's been forced to join the Cadet Corps and will be working towards graduating and joining the Survey Corps. Hope that clears things up!**

 **-QueenOfTheWarFlowers**


	2. Why am I always late?

**Hey guys! I'm here with another chapter and I'm glad I've gotten some positive feedback for this story. Eventually I won't be uploading this frequently, but I wan to get the story going so it's a better read. Don't forget to leave a review and follow and favorite – only if you want to of course. Well, I hope you enjoy the next chapter. I have a third one on its way.**

 **-TheQueenOfTheWarFlowers**

Shit. I'm late. I scrambled from my bed and pulled my boots on, pushing my messy braids from my shoulders and opened the door, where the guards were waiting for me. "Morning boys," I said, holding out my arms, which they chained all too happily. "Though I'd love to stay and chat, I was supposed to be at training almost an hour ago. If you could."

They lead me down to the courtyard, where the other cadets were lined up and it looked like they were in the thick of it. Two girls were on a fighting mat sparring while Corporal Asshat watched on. I thought we were supposed to be training with uh... Shadis, I think Eyebrows said his name was? Why's he here? Merche undid my chains and after saluting in their direction, and Shorty finally noticed that I'd shown up and shot me a glare.

"Nice of you to actually show your face," Shorty said, his signature scowl on his face. Joyous as ever, I thought. I winked and saluted mockingly, the intend of my actions clear to nobody but him. I didn't want to be here and I didn't like him. It's too early for this shit. Everyone else had stopped what they were doing and turned to look at me, their eyes filled with fear. Really? I guess they weren't told that I'd be joining them today… and for the rest of their time here, until they graduate or die.

"I didn't want to disappoint my biggest fan," I responded, enjoying how my presence seemed to piss Captain Asshat off. I still almost didn't believe that this was humanities strongest. The ice man. The man with no emotions. I joined the line of cadets, grinning when the girl next to me, tried to shuffle away, without me noticing. You tried. After glancing around the courtyard, I noticed everyone eyeing me carefully; like I was a dangerous animal. They weren't far from the truth, but it didn't infuriate me any less.

I had to address the fact that everyone was staring at me in fear, dislike and discomfort. This is why I fucking hate people and socializing. What's their fucking problem? "And if you're going to stare, take a picture. It'll last much fucking longer."

Shorty pressed his fingers against the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes in frustration. Poor baby is stressed already. Just wait, Shorty. I'll be your worst fucking nightmare. "As I was saying-"

Captain Asshat droned on and on about hand to hand combat and forms or something and I was only brought back to reality when I heard my name being called. What?

"I won't lie," I said, focusing on Shorty. "I have no fucking idea what you just said."

He scowled and pointed at the sparring mat, where a tall, blonde man was waiting. Are we fighting? "I want to see if your fighting skills live up to your reputation," he said, an evil glint in his eye. I glared at him and stalked over to the mat, joined blondie on the mat. Where the fuck did they get a teen who looked like this? Tall, muscular; the type who'd probably be able to crush your skull with his fist if he got angry. He towered over me, already in his fighting stance but I wasn't worried about the height and muscle difference. I wasn't exactly winning any height competitions, nor was I in anyway as muscular as him, but I'd fought men like him before. I was ready to bash his skull into the ground. "First one to pin the other to the mat, wins."

I nodded and got into a fighting stance. I watched him, noting how he wasn't trying to show off, nor did he look like he was convinced he was going to win this fight. His face was emotionless and he was watching me carefully, calculating what I was going to do next. I would bet money that he's fought before.

Blondie made the first move, throwing out his fist in an attempt to daze me, but I dodged, ducking under his outstretched arm and jabbing his knee. He grunted, shifting his leg to regain a balanced stance and kicked my side, sending me flying backwards. Son of a bitch. I growled and stomped towards him and decided it was time to make my move. Sure, I could've let the sparring go on for a while, but I was still tired and I wasn't interested in playing games.

I ducked under his outstretched arm and used his knee to push myself onto his back. I clenched my legs, so he couldn't shake me off and I hooked my arms around his neck, pulling him into a choke hold. He wasn't expecting me to move so fast or to choke him out so quickly. I squeezed his throat, restricting his air-flow and forcing small, breathy squeaks from his lips. His arms were flailing wildly and he clawed at my arms, tearing the skin and drawing blood. It only made me squeeze harder. I hope this fucking hurt. I wasn't even in full fight mode and he was going down so easily. Man, this is a really good way to deal with ignored anger.

Forty-seven seconds. It took me forty-seven seconds to get blondie to the ground. When I was finally satisfied, I let him go and we both took a minute to catch our breath. He was on his knees, panting uncontrollably and I could already see the bruises forming on his neck. Not that I would bruise from the kick he'd landed on me. Dude has legs the size of a tree trunk. Breathing hurt and I rubbed my side gently, but showing weakness wasn't my plan. I wiped the sweat from my brow and adjusted my uniform. Damn, I forget how much effort goes into hand-to-hand combat. I turned to Shorty, who was scowling and flipped him off, re-joining the line of rookies. I'm probably going to pay for that one.

Their eyes were all wide and they looked nervous; all except one. A kid with dark hair had a look of awe on his face and instead of inching away, he shuffled closer. What's his problem? Only when a raven-haired girl yanked on his arm, whispering his name, which was Eren might I add, did he snap out of it and drop his gaze. Alright weirdo.

I spent the rest of the training session watching other people spar with each other, contemplating the fact that this was my life now. Fighting kids and watching everyone around me cower in fear. I won't lie, the fear they showed calmed my mind. It was just like back home in the Underground. Walking through the streets, parents holding their children close and hushed whispers that I wasn't someone to be messed with. Shorty didn't get me involved again and once it was over, he dismissed us all. Well, almost everyone.

"Not you, brat," he said, pointing to the ground in front of him. Somehow, he didn't have to say my name to know he was talking about me. I groaned and turned, stomping back to him and saluted tiredly.

"What can I do you for, Sir?" Look at me being all formal, I thought. Eyebrows would be proud. For now I'd play nice with him, using formalities and restraining myself. I didn't fancy getting smacked by him again because I was sure the next time he touched me, I'd rip his arm off and shove it so far up his ass, he'll be able to wave when opening his mouth.

"It's like everything I said yesterday went in one ear and out the other," he said, gritting his teeth angrily. Ah yes, the whole I need to respect him thing. Shorty was used to being respected on the spot, but I wasn't about that. Never have been. I've seen too many men in powerful positions demanding respect for no other reason than their name. And it's not like I was purposely trying to disrespect him by... swearing at him. Okay yeah, that probably wasn't a good move. It was an impulsive thing.

"You're not far from the-"

"-stop interrupting me," he said, his voice deadly quiet. "I've told you before, I expect respect if I'm going to have to babysit you like a child. Tomorrow you'll begin training with Officer Shadis, but I won't accept your shit today, brat. You're going to run around the perimeter of the compound until I tell you to stop. Got it?" My eyes narrowed, silent anger filling my body. Is he for real? He didn't back down though, only stared down at me in disgust. "Did I fucking stutter? Get moving, brat."

I was still glaring at him but nodded reluctantly. Running isn't so bad, I thought as I started jogging, silently thinking of every curse word that fit Shorty perfectly. It was a long list.

The air tasted like dust, my mouth void of any moisture as I started running another lap around the compound. Jesus Christ, I'm dying. Running is so fucking boring. My feet were killing me, and my lungs were screaming in protest. I hadn't stopped in what felt like hours, but I kept going. Corporal Asshat hadn't told me to stop and me following his orders to a tee would probably piss him off more than it would impress him. I started another lap of the compound, passing the training area, but I only made it half way around the compound when I was grabbed from behind and thrown to the ground. Who the fuck is touching me? I landed with a thud and groaned, glaring at the figure above me. Fucking Shorty. Of course, it was him.

"What are you doing, brat?"

It took me a moment to catch my breath and answer him. I'm going to hurt like a little bitch tomorrow, I thought. "You never told me to stop, Sir."

He clicked his tongue in annoyance and dragged me to my feet. One day, I'll learn how to make that noise. "You're fucking filthy," he commented, wiping his hand with a cloth the moment he let go of me. How angry do you think he'd get if I hugged him? It would be funny, though. My death would totally be worth it. "Clean yourself and report to Erwin's office."

He didn't wait for a reply; he just walked off in the opposite direction. Friendly as ever, I muttered under my breath. I entered the cell block and opened the door to my cell, nodding at the guards who were posted either side and grabbed a fresh set of clothes and headed towards the showers. They'd already lessened security on me after only a day. I wasn't sure if Eyebrows was over-trusting or a fucking idiot. I wasn't complaining though. The less time that I spent with the guards, the more time I had to snoop around and figure out a way to get out of this shit hole and away from Shorty. Just thinking about him sent me into a silent ran about how I hated every fiber of his being. Him his stupid rules. Hey Salem, do this but don't forget when you do, I'm going to punish you, because you succeeded. Ha, ha I make so much fucking sense. I heard the guard's footsteps behind me but made no attempt to tell them to fuck off. As long as they don't stand there watching me get naked, I couldn't care less about what they do.

Shorty's logic pissed me off throughout my shower and once I was clean and dressed, the guards lead me for the first time, without restraints to Eyebrow's office. Maybe they finally understand that I'm not going to do a runner. Not yet anyway.

I wonder what Erwin wants? What have I done now? What haven't you done, Salem? I huffed and knocked on the door of his office, waiting for him to answer. "Come in," he said, his voice muffled by the closed door and I pushed my way in, taking a seat in front of him. "Good afternoon, Salem."

"Afternoon Eye- uh I mean Erwin, "I said, scrambling to cover my slip-up. He quirked an eyebrow but didn't say anything. Maybe he didn't hear me? "What can I do you for?"

"Captain Levi said you did well in today's training lesson." He didn't look up from the letter he was writing, but I knew he was trying to hide his expression. Shorty said that about me? Not likely. The asshole hates me and would never say that. If he could get away with it, he'd probably kill me himself. Violently too.

"Oh come on," I scoffed, grinning in Eyebrows direction. "You and me both know that Captain Shorty would never refer to me with such endearment. What did he really say?"

Eyebrows finally looked up from his letter, a small smile on his face and put his pen down. "He said you were a complete show off and despite your impressive fighting skills, he still doesn't like or want to deal with you."

"That sounds more like Shorty," I said, sitting back in my chair. Did he really just call me in here for a chat? " I don't get why anyone would think I wouldn't be able to fight and defend myself. I run-" a quick glance from Eyebrows shut that idea down. "-I ran a criminal empire. Why wouldn't I be able to kick ass?"

He listened to me talk, responding every so and after an hour of conversation, I finally decided I was hungry enough to go down and get something to eat. "I'm hungry," I commented, watching Eyebrows write his fifth letter of the evening. I wonder who he writes to? "I'm going to get some food. Thanks for talking."  
He nodded and I left his office, waving goodbye. I wonder why he called me in just for a chat? Hmmm, Eyebrows worked in mysterious ways. He'd grown on me over the time I'd known him. When we first met, I was ready to slice his throat open with the piece of metal I kept hidden in my boot. He was a scout; the Commander of the Survey Corps. The survey Corps weren't exactly popular in the Underground and I'd just been arrested. I was pissed times one hundred. Despite everything I'd done though, he didn't treat me like an animal. Of course, he was extremely weary of me, but he wasn't afraid. I often wondered what he knew, that I didn't? The more I met up with Erwin, the more I came to understand that he wasn't the heartless Commander everyone made him out to be. He was trying his best to save humanity and people didn't understand that it wasn't an easy job. I had to respect him for that and for the shit he put up with.

Shobha and Merche took me down to the mess hall and after grabbing what little food they could offer every scout, I went back to the table I'd sat at the day before. It was far away enough from everyone that I felt happy enough to eat and observe everything. At least the room didn't go completely silent this time. I still heard my name being thrown around, but at least I was left alone… that was until the same dark-haired boy approached my table. "Problem?"

He jumped when I acknowledged his presence, but he stepped forwards. He was eyeing both guards who were sitting opposite me, but they nodded, telling him it was okay to approach me. Something was clearly on his mind. If he didn't spit it out soon though, I was going to tell him to fuck off and stare at something else. I didn't like people wasting my time.

"My name is-"

"-I know who you are," I interrupted, raising an eyebrow in his direction, the scowl never leaving my face. "That's not what I asked now, is it?"

His face fell, and he went to leave, but he turned back, determination in his eyes. Oh boy, here we go. "I want you to teach me how to fight like you."

Well I wasn't expecting that. I wanted to laugh in his face. I mean, his joke was funny, but he looked deadly serious. He's got moxy, I'll give him that. The fuck? The kid wanted me to teach him how to fight? Did I look like a good teacher? Scratch that, did I look like I even wanted to spend time teaching kids how to defend themselves? Why join the Cadet Corps if you don't have basic defense training? I'm curious to know his though process. I want to know what possessed him to come over here. "And why would I do that?"

"Today at training," he said, understanding that I was at least curious. "You took down someone twice your size, in less that fifty seconds and you didn't even break a sweat. It was incredible, and I want to learn to fight like that; to fight better and harder. I need you to teach me."

This kid was passionate, that's for sure. He admired my fighting skill? I definitely wasn't expecting that. He was looking at me with admiration in his eyes. He wants me to be his role model. Why was he treating me like I was role model material? I wasn't used to being treated decently anymore, let alone like I was worth respecting. I still found it weird when I had my little meetings with Eyebrows. The other Scouts had noticed that the kid was talking to me and were eyeing us both wearily. Curiosity killed the cat, babies. Maybe they expected me to stab the kid on the spot? "Why are you doing that?"

"Doing what?" His eyebrows furrowed and looked at me in confusion. Not so smart then. Maybe that's why he's always flanked by those other two kids. The blonde bowl-cut kid and the emotionless chick. He needed support otherwise he'd die from stupidity. Yeah, I'd noticed them around the compound. In fact, I'd already started piecing together who stuck with who during the day. The more I knew, the easier it would be to manipulate everyone so I could get what I wanted. I wasn't going to just sit here and waste time till I managed to escape.

"Why are you treating me like a person?" Now he was even more confused. God damn. Are there even two brain cells rubbing around in that giant head of his? Was this kid blind or stupid? Maybe both, I thought. "That doesn't happen here. Surely, you've seen the way everyone treats me here. So why are you different?"

I raised an eyebrow and waited for a response. I haven't got all day, kid.

"You just looked like you needed a… friend," he said, keeping his eyes on the ground. What? He thought I needed a friend? Jesus Christ Erwin, where the hell are you getting these kids from and why are they so innocent?

"Well friends aren't on my list of things to make while I'm here," I said, breaking a piece of bread in half and biting down on one of the pieces. "But I'll think about it. Now scram. I was enjoying my meal in silence."

He nodded, the determination still in his eyes and he walked back to his table where his two friends were waiting for him. They didn't look happy with his decision to come and talk to me, but I wasn't that interested in their opinion. Well that completely spun me out. He wants me to train him? Why the fuck would he want me of all people, to train him? Who am I to disappoint the kid? I like his determination. Maybe there's a place for him back home. Being topside had its perks. Throughout my entire time here, I'd been observing people, trying to find more contacts that I could bring into my empire. Prisons were a good place for that; the inmates had useful contacts that would be willing to join my operation for the right price. The Cadet and Survey Corps on the other hand, would be much harder to decide who'd be willing to join my operation and who'd rat me out.

I finished my food and left the mess hall, Shobha and Merche tailing me. Once we were well away from everyone I rounded on them, hand on my hip and my eyebrow raised. "Can I have some alone time?"

"Commander Erwin had strict rules about guarding you," Shobha said, eyeing me carefully. Shobha was the tallest of the two, with shaggy dark brown hair he pulled into a bun. He seemed to outrank his friend Merche, who was shorter and had spiky black hair. They were comfortable with each other though, which meant they knew each other well.

"I'm not going to do a runner," I said, hoping I was being convincing enough. For once I was actually telling the truth. I wasn't planning on doing a runner, I just wanted some time to think and some god damn time alone. Being followed around constantly is fucking annoying. Maybe explore a little. I wanted to familiarize myself with the compound. I wasn't used to being around people for this long and I was starting to get frustrated. "I just want to go for a walk. Clear my head, if you will. I promise I won't run."

They looked at each other, gauging what they should do, but it seemed I was convincing enough because they nodded and moved out of my way. "You've got an hour," Merche said matter-of-factly. "We expect you back in your room by then. If you're not, we'll put this compound on lock down and drag your ass back, kicking and screaming if we have to. Now go, before one of us changes our mind."

I nodded, saluting and wandered down the corridor, intending on learning every part of this compound. You can't escape if you don't know your surroundings.

Once I was out of the living quarters, I walked across the courtyard, ignoring any stares I got from the other Cadets and Scouts. It worked out better for me though, because they moved out of my way instantly. Last night I'd seen another building I was curious about and so once I'd reached the door, I pushed it open and stepped inside. Oh I like this place. This was the actual scouts training area. There was 3DMG gear on the walls, various weapons laid out on tables and the wall and there was a sparring mat laid out in the middle of the room. This is where people practice, I told myself. I didn't think they'd have an area like this, not so open like they had it. And they'd out left it unattended for little 'ole me to find. I moved over to the wall, fingering the straps of the gear lightly. Man, I remember what it felt like to soar over buildings and people, without a care in the world. It had been three years since I'd last used gear. I wonder if I still remembered how to do it. My quiet time didn't last long because I was interrupted by a loud mouthed man, who definitely wasn't a cadet and who thought his authority made him worth listening too.

"What do you think you're doing here?" I turned and saw a tall man with curly brown hair and and undercut marching towards me. He's old. Like so fucking old. How the hell had he lasted this long? "You're not authorized to be in this building, brat. No Cadets and definitely no criminals."

The brat seemed like an afterthought. Shorty? Why did he sound like Shorty? Maybe he just wants to be like him? There were definitely visible traits that confirmed this. The brat. The hair. Who was this guy?

"I'm sorry," I said, no the least bit sorry, but I didn't want my lapdogs to think I wasn't capable of being left alone for an hour. "I was just trying to get my bear-"  
"I don't give a damn why you're here," he said, throwing his voice so the others could hear him. Was he bragging about reprimanding someone? He definitely wants people to think he's important then. "You're not authorized to be here, brat-"

Everything else was lost in translation after he put his hand on my shoulder, and I freaked the fuck out. Nobody was allowed to just put their hands on me and I'd been tolerant up to this point. I shook his grip from my arm and punched him clean across his face, watching him stumble backwards with his hand covering his nose. "Don't fucking touch me," I yelled, advancing on him and kneeing his gut angrily. "Don't ever fucking touch me."

The commotion caused other scouts to run into the building and take fighting stances when they saw me beating the crap out of this douche bag. I shot them all glares and kicked the man to the ground, looking at them instead of him. If you want to fucking fight, I'll beat all of your asses.

There was about six Scouts surrounding me and one by one they advanced, ready to fight and though they were harder to fight than the cadets, they all went down the same. Granted, I didn't leave the room unscathed. A blonde-haired woman had managed to bust my lip, a tall raven-haired man got some good hits into my ribs, hitting my already bruised side and another tall blonde-haired man had grazed my cheek with his fist. Each time my fist connected with their skin, I told myself I should stop fighting. That I didn't have anything to prove to them, but I enjoyed the buzz of fighting. I enjoyed watching them fall to the ground like helpless children.

Never underestimate me.

I dropped the six in a matter of mutes, my breath ragged and my chest heaving up and down. The only one left was the man who'd touched me before. Mr Touchy, I'll call him. I wasn't the biggest fan of being touched by strangers, you couldn't tell; then again, who is?

"I told you not to touch me," I growled, raising my fists ready for any attack he threw at me. I could see it in his eyes, his fear but he kept his cool, advancing one step at a time. Brave man. No wonder he does well across the wall. "Back the fuck off."

"You've done it now, brat," he said, the blood running from his nose making it hard for him to talk properly. I definitely think I broke it. There goes my freedom. "You and me are going to report to Commander Erwin's office right this minute."

There he goes grabbing me again. Hadn't he learned his lesson? Another punch to his face and he was out like a light. Jesus. I've really done it this time. My hand was in agony, the skin bloody and bruised while it swelled. Fuck fuck fuck. That's going to hurt like a bitch. I let out a low growl, annoyed that Mr Touchy had made me lose my cool. We can't keep doing this, I thought. I left them in a bloody pile, still out of breath and left the building. I've got to get back to my room before anyone sees me.

I made out of the room before Shorty came marching from another part of the building. Crap. Caught red handed. I glanced down at my uniform and confirmed my suspicion that I was covered in spurts of blood. There's no hiding this one, I thought to myself. It's like he has a tracking advice on me or something. He noticed me almost straight away, his face turning from neutral to pissed off and he stopped in from of me, blocking my path. Do we really have to do this now? "Is that blood?"

"No?" Maybe if you just push past him and make it to your room he won't touch you. Wishful thinking, Salem.

"That's not a question you're supposed to answer with another question, brat."

I rolled my eyes and traipsed past him. "Well that's the answer you've got," I huffed, thoroughly intending on isolating myself for the night. An hour of freedom wasn't worth fighting everyone came into contact with. Captain Asshat had other ideas though. He wrapped a hand around my arm and spun me around so I was facing him, slamming me into the wall behind me with an arm across my throat. Fuck, he's fast.

"What did you do?" There he goes again, accusing me of doing something that broke their precious rules. Of course, he was right. If he went back into the training building he'd find a pile of bloody scouts who'd pissed me off; especially Mr Touchy. But I wasn't going to tell him that.

"I didn't do anything," I replied, forcing his arm from my neck. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got shit to do and two angry guards who expected me back at least twenty minutes ago." I tried to side step him, but he blocked my path again while scowling in annoyance; his glare never leaving my own. He just didn't quit.

"Can I help you?" I asked, annoyance clear in my voice. All I wanted was to go back to my room and sleep. I didn't want to listen to another one of his lectures. Especially if it ends in violence again like it did before.

He didn't say anything, instead he grabbed the collar of my shirt and dragged me back into the room I'd just come from. I let out a small oof, not appreciating his rough handling. There was still a pile of soldiers on the floor, but they were coming too, assessing their wounds with fear-filled eyes. I glared at Mr Touchy, watching him back off and all I could think of was here we go.

Shorty sighed and angrily let go of my collar. "What the fuck did you do, brat?" I shrugged and again, tried to leave, but he held out his arm. "Not to fast you little shit. "

After a thirty-minute rant about how I was less than human, completely inept at following orders and staying out of trouble with various expletives and brats, I sighed dramatically and crossed my arms over my chest. Why was I getting the blame for his soldiers being twats? "He started it," I whined, glaring angrily at him. "Train your soldiers better."

He looked livid at my suggestion and got all up in my face. What is it with the Scouts and not knowing what decent personal space was? "I'll have you know that Officer Bozado is a member of the special operations squad," he said, his voice getting deathly quiet the angrier he got. That douche bag was in the special ops squad? Shorty hand picked him because of his skills? But he went down to quickly? I guess that does explain why he had a good poker face. "And he is your superior. Your actions won't go unpunished, brat. You're on stable duty until further notice and I expect to see the stables sparkling. Understood?"  
I rolled my eyes but nodded. Stable duty wasn't so bad, I thought. I liked the horses and cleaning could hardly be called a punishment; not where I came from.

"Oh and don't expect to go on any little exploration walks again any time soon," he said, nodding to Merche and Shobha who'd appeared at his side. They looked mad. They'd probably been searching the compound for me. I shrugged apologetically at them, but they ignored my presence. Now they're mad at me too. "Enjoy."

I was lead to the stables and instructed to "get on with it", while they stood outside guarding the door. As if I was going to run away. I kicked one of the stable doors, lucky that there wasn't a horse inside otherwise I would have felt guilty about that. This is your own fault, Salem. Your one opportunity to scout the compound and you blew it because you couldn't keep your cool. I'm such an idiot. How are you going to map this place if you're not even allowed to go places on your own?

I found the cleaning therapeutic and being able to bond with the horses was nice. It was a shame that most of them would die in service. It wasn't their fault. Why should they die for us? Each horse I moved, I made sure to spend a little time giving them the attention they weren't given. All they wanted was someone to spend time with them. That would make their deaths even more tragic. They died unloved.

I wiped the sweat from my brow, dropping the fresh stack of hay on the floor. This was the last stall and then I'll be able to shower and sleep. I finished up, leading the last horse back into his stall and made sure he was secure and rubbed his nose tenderly. "You're too good for this world," I whispered, forcing myself to leave the stables and re-join the guards. "Let's go then."

The restraints were back on. I don't know what I expected. I wonder if Eyebrows knows what I did? Somehow, I didn't doubt that he did, and I felt a small churn in my stomach. Why did I feel guilty?

I didn't end up eating anything after showering and changing clothes. Don't get me wrong, I was hungry as fuck, but I was just so damn tired, and I couldn't be bothered to socialize. I just wanted to be left alone.

I wonder how things are going back in the Underground. I could hardly believe it had been three years since I'd last been home and seen Sebastian. I wonder how he's doing? He could be dead for all I knew. My heart ached at that thought. I can't think like that. I know he's alive in the Underground. He's untouchable. When I was arrested, my empire fell into the hands of Sebastian, my second in command. If anyone could keep control of my operation, it would be him.

I miss him a lot.

Before, I might have had the chance to write to him, courtesy of Eyebrows, but now, that idea would be shut down before I even asked. For fucks sake. I kicked the wall angrily and flopped into my bed, seething that I was stuck here. I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask for any of this! I curled myself into a ball and covered my ears with my hands. Anger coursed through my veins and all I wanted to do was drown everything out. I was angry. I was so fucking angry.

Sleep came quickly and the last thing I remember was hearing someone outside yell in the distance. What's the likelihood that it was Shorty?

 _"_ _Hold her down," someone yelled, ignoring my terrified screams. Why were they doing this? Where's my mama? The men surrounded me, staring down at me with excited eyes. What are they doing? Why did they take me from my home?_

 _"_ _Mama," I yelled over and over again, but she never came. Where was my mama? She never left me alone like this. Did they hurt her? One of the men bent down by my side, brandishing a needle filled with a clear liquid. What were they doing to me?_

 _"_ _You're going to be magnificent," he whispered leaning in close to my ear. Magnificent? What was he talking about? "Just wait. We'll be unstoppable."_

I shot awake, pushing myself up and looked around wildly. Where am I? It took me a moment to remember where I was and when I did, I slumped back down and rubbed my eyes wearily. What a way to wake yourself up, Salem. I'd had dreams like that before, vaguely confusing and hardly ever made sense but this was the most vivid it had ever been. Normally I would only get them if I was drunk or exhausted. Now I was just fifty shades of fucked up. I didn't understand what it meant. Never have. It couldn't have happened. I would have remembered, but it posed the question; do I just have an active imagination or am I trying to tell myself something? Like I gave a fuck though. It wasn't real. None of it was.

Judging by the darkness outside my window, it was the middle of the night. I groaned and pushed myself to my feet. Well there goes the rest of my night sleeping. I'd always considered myself a selective insomniac. Sometimes I slept too much, sometimes I didn't sleep enough. Either way, I was awake now and I needed to do something to keep myself occupied. I got up and walked over the window. I pushed it open and thought about climbing somewhere, but ended up sitting by my desk, hoping Eyebrows had at least supplied me with paper and a pen. Bingo! The top draw was filled with stacks of paper and multiple pens. He probably did this because he knew I'd be confined to me room constantly. He really does think of everything. I pulled a few sheets of paper out and a pen and started writing a letter to Sebastian. I may not be able to send it yet, but maybe if I behave, Eyebrows will send it.

By the time I'd finished writing, the sun had started rising, so I tucked the letter under my pillow and changed into a fresh uniform. At least I won't be late today.


	3. In my defence, I was left unsupervised

3

Today we begun 3DMG training. Boy was I excited for that.

Though I hated to admit it, Shorty and his gang of thieves began the trend of stealing 3DMG gear from the military police and using it to navigate the Underground. In all honesty, I don't know why someone didn't think of it sooner. All personnel in my empire knew how to operate the gear, in fact at one point there was a shortage in gear and we had to raid an MP squad for their gear. They still haven't proved it was us.

When I was first handed the gear, well it was more like he shoved it into my chest angrily, Shorty looked extremely apprehensive about giving it to me. "I know what you're thinking," I said, beginning to strap it on. I'd rehearsed what I was going to say while I was writing. I need to look like I regret what I did and that I'm sorry. They can't know that I'm trying to escape. "I'm not going to do a runner. I'm not going to betray Erwin's judgement like that again. Plus I learnt my lesson." I held up my hand, showing my poorly bandaged hand. It had swollen up overnight, making writing quite complicated and the cuts and bruises were proof that I'd beaten the crap out of his squad mates.

He observed my hand with disgust and scowled, but he seemed happy enough to fuck off somewhere else. I should probably get someone to strap my wrist properly. Today was the day he'd said we'd start training with Officer Shadis. I wonder what he's like? Once I was all good to go, I noticed Eren having trouble adjusting all of the straps, so I wandered over, having finally made my decision. I'd thought about it extensively, asking if I really wanted some kid on my hands but I saw that he had potential. If he turned out to be a skilled soldier, I'd bring him back to the Underground with me. I think he'd work well with my team. "You want to hook that strap around the back of the gas cans," I said, surprising him and his friends who'd shuffled closer. "Relax. I don't bite… often. I just want to have a word with Eren."

The raven-haired girl was particularly protective of him, refusing to back down until Eren shooed her away. She definitely had the look of, hurt one hair on his head and I'll kill you. I nodded silently, agreeing to her terms and she stepped to the side, letting me and Eren talk privately. "I'll help you train," I said. Watching him closely. The look of determination was back. I guess this is his way of showing he's happy. What must it be like to power on like that? "On one condition-"

"-anything," he interrupted, now bouncing on his heels. It's like he lit up at the news. He really is a weirdo.

"Well, first of all," I continued, raising an eyebrow. "I don't like being interrupted. Second of all, we train on my terms and once you start, you can't stop. I don't want a quitter on my hands, but somehow, I don't feel like you're the type. Once training has finished here, I want you to stay behind and we'll work on your form. I've watched you spar and it needs a lot of work. Got it?"

He nodded and I left him there in his own buzz. He was innocent, I'll give him that, but he was ready to train. I think he needed it. He obviously had something to prove and someone to avenge, but then again, who doesn't these days?

I ended up standing on the side lines of the huddle that had formed. Shorty stood on his podium of importance, ready to address the starry-eyed rookies. Look at them. So young and ready to get themselves killed."Today marks the day you start your training with Officer Shadis," he said, motioning to the man behind him. "You're going to be learning how to hold yourself with your gear." Really? Is that all wear doing? Today is going to be a piece of cake, I thought. "Officer Shadis is going to demonstrate the best way to balance your weight evenly."

Is that it? _No more this is what you're going to do or do it my way or fuck off_? How did he become the Captain of his own squad? He's about as charismatic as a wet sock. I definitely think he has a dislike for people. Me being one of the people he dislikes the most. He walked off after that, observing from the side-lines as the man in front of us demonstrated how to sink our hooks and balance. Of course, I knew all this, but I opted out of saying anything. I didn't want to get into any more trouble this week. Even I know how to mostly restrain myself. Famous last words, Salem.

Shadis was an intimidating man. He was tall, bald and looked like he'd seen a lot of death. He too was old, which told me he was at least good at what he did because he'd survived this long. I watched the other Cadets, who seemed very apprehensive of him and I couldn't blame them. If I was as young and innocent as them, I'd be afraid too. Behind him I'd noticed a forest, well I say forest but it could have easily been a cluster of trees. I could hear hooks been sunk into wood and gas being used in the distance, and I wondered if there were people in there. I caught Shorty glaring at me as I eyed the forest behind us and he mouthed something, probably along the lines of don't you fucking dare. Like I was going to risk it. I shrugged my shoulders and winked, deciding to sit on the ground and take a break… from doing nothing.

When it came to my turn, Officer Shadis yelled at me to get into position and once I was under the poles, I shot my hooks into the wood, sinking them perfectly and suspending myself easily. Do as your told and things will go much smoother, I told myself. I sat there, suspended while Shadis told the other Cadets how I'd done it right. When he finished, I let myself drop to the floor, but before I could go back to my space, he called me over.

"You've done this before?" Shadis asked and I nodded. "Of course you have."

He muttered the second part to himself more than anything else and he motioned me to fuck off. 3DMG wasn't hard to operate. That is, I didn't think it was hard until it came to Eren's turn.

He sunk his hooks in well, but when it came to suspending himself he ended up losing his balance completely and flipping over, smacking his head on the ground. I winced and rubbed my eyes wearily. I've got my work cut out for me. The others laughed, which I thought was cruel. Give the kid a break, not everyone is great at everything first time. What he couldn't do with the gear, he made up for in sheer determination. I found myself glaring at anyone I made eye contact with if they were laughing and they were soon quiet.

He tried again but in his embarrassment of failing the first time, he ended up sinking his hooks wrong and falling to the ground when he tried to suspend himself. He'll learn soon enough that other peoples opinions didn't matter. He stormed off, red-faced and angry and I made note to myself that I needed to teach him that it wasn't the way.

I seemed to have caught Shorty's attention though after my turn with the gear because he approached me, motioning with his hand for me to follow him. Was he still here? At least this time he didn't look like I'd done something wrong. "What can I do you for?"

"You've used gear before," he said, not a question but a statement. Surely, he knew that I had followed in his tracks and incorporated 3DMG gear into my operation? I wonder where we're going?

"Yes," I answered, stopping at the edge of the forest where the other Cadets were practicing. I looked into the forest and saw people flying through the air? A 3DMG practice course? Now this was something I could get on board with.

"I don't see the point in babying you," he said, watching me closely. "And neither does Erwin or Shadis. I've heard about your skills with the gear so I want to see it in action. You have ten minutes to finish the entire course. The guards have orders to shoot on sight if you try and escape."

That's a confidence booster. At least he'd told me; I could consider that in my plan now. Had Eyebrows made the order? I suppose I pushed him to be on edge. Maybe he's starting to realize that I wasn't as good as he thought I was.

Apparently my ten minutes started the moment he finished talking because he motioned for me to move. I happily obliged. I went flying into the air and started dodging trees and people as I flew around the course. The one thing that the Underground helped with was navigating close terrain. While the other Scouts who were practicing had trouble navigating all of the tree branches, I dodged and weaved through almost all of them seamlessly. I mean, I hit a few branches here and there; it had been three years since I'd last used gear, but I hadn't forgotten everything I'd learned. Half way around the course I was sweating and breathless but this was the freest I'd felt in three years. I had to force myself not to let out a celebratory whoop. I slid between two branches, releasing my hooks and sinking them back into a branch up ahead. I'd learnt how to not rely on my gas to get me places; instead using my body weight to increase my momentum. Gas was scarce back home and we needed to be smart when we used it. I was passing other Scouts, who turned to watch me as I passed and they all looked incredulous. I guess they didn't expect me to be that good.

I managed to get back to Shorty in twelve minutes and twenty-seven seconds. I mean it wasn't the ten minutes or less that I wanted, but it was a start. I landed in front of him out of breath and completely whacked. God damn, that felt fucking amazing!

"You need to improve your speed," he commented, checking the watch on his wrist. Always so negative. Couldn't he at least say that I was better at the gear than he thought I'd be. "Re-join the rest of the Cadets. I'm done with you."

I didn't respond, just walked back to where the rest of the Cadets were training, hiding the scowl on my face. It would kill him to complement me, wouldn't it? Eren was still trying to get the hang of his gear, but no luck. After going over his fighting stance, I'll see if I can help him improve his gear skills. If he graduated and made it beyond the wall, he needed to know how to navigate himself to safety.

Snickers were still heard here and there as they watched him, but Officer Shadis was trying his best to keep it at bay. Yelling only does so much though and that seemed to be his tactic. Just by looking at his face, I could tell that Eren was much too angry and frustrated to get any better. Shadis seemed to agree with me because he patted his shoulder and told him to take a break. He shrugged the raven-haired girl from his side in annoyance, so I motioned for him to follow me with a flick of my head. I should really start learning peoples names. I need to know who I'm working with.

"You shouldn't let your emotions get in the way of your goal," I commented, watching Eren as I pushed myself onto a crate box, pulling my legs up so I was sitting cross-legged. "You've got to have a clear mind, otherwise you're going to make a mistake and get yourself killed."

"I just made a fool of myself," he whined, kicking the dirt beneath his feet. He really was taking this personally. "How am I ever going to graduate if I can't even use 3DMG gear?"

"Quit your whining, kid," I said, ending that annoying thought process. I wasn't in the mood to listen to him whine about things that could be changed. He needed to work hard and put in the effort. That's why I'm here. "I don't do whining. It isn't going to get any better by doing nothing, which is why I'm going to help you. Get into your fighting stance and we'll go from there."

He did as he was told, which impressed me. At least he wasn't questioning me, but man do I have my work cut out for me. It was all wrong. Okay, Salem. You can do this. "Your stance is all wrong," I said, pushing myself to my feet. He's trying, but he wasn't born a soldier. "First of all, widen your stance so you're harder to knock over. Balance is important. Secondly, you want to hold your hands higher to better protect your face."

Our session went on like that, where I'd instruct him and put what I'd told him to the test. It took him a while, but the more we went over it, the more he improved. "You're getting quicker," I commented, using my hand to raise his arms. He smiled sheepishly and held his stance. He'd improved already. He wasn't a bad fighter. What he lacked in skill, he made up for in his sheer determination to keep going. It was admirable. "Meet me here again tomorrow after lunch, and we'll go over 3DMG gear. You did good today, kid."

He nodded and disappeared into the compound, probably to get food. While helping Eren, I'd noticed people walking by and watching us. They were nosy little shits. I told him not to pay any attention, that they were more interested in me than his training and that he shouldn't worry about other people's opinions. I walked over to Shobha, who'd been watching me train all morning. He was still mad at me for showing him up yesterday. I'm not surprised. He probably got in shit with Eyebrows and in all honesty, it wasn't my intention to get him or Merche in shit. Merche wasn't there this morning when I woke up and part of me wondered if he'd had enough and asked to be rotated to a different job.

"Can we go get food?" I asked, following him into the building. When he nodded, I sighed happily. C'mon Salem, you know you need to make up for what you did. I would say that I was faking it, but even I knew I'd fucked up. "Oh before we go in, I uh, have something I wanted to say."

He stopped and turned to face me, an eyebrow raised. At least he was willing to listen to me. "What's on your mind?"

"I'm sorry about yesterday, with the whole getting into a fight after promising to stay out of trouble. I let my temper get the best of me and I'm sorry if I got you into any trouble."

Apologizing wasn't my best quality, but even I knew when I needed to apologize. I clenched my fists to stop myself from cringing. I hated apologizing. Shobha looked taken back by my upfront apology. Yeah, I know, it doesn't happen often.

"Thank you for apologizing," he murmured, managing a genuine smile. I think that's the first time I've seen him smile since I met him. "Let's get something to eat, shall we?"

There was a week of peace. I didn't get into any more trouble and I kept to myself. I went to training, helped Eren, then busied myself in my room with writing and planning. I may not be able to contact Sebastian or my empire yet, but I was going to be damn useful. Being topside had helped me learn more about the world I was manipulating. Guards weren't tight-lipped and being transported around made it easier for me to target and locate new business opportunities. When I got back to the Underground, I'd be expanding indefinitely.

And then it all went to shit.

It wasn't like I was looking for a fight. More like three practically sleepless nights and a bad mood later, I ended up in the medical wing with three broken ribs after getting into a fight with a rowdy cadet and his gang of assbags. He was making smart-ass comments under his breath every time I passed him during a morning training session and after two hours, I finally snapped.

" _Do you have a fucking problem?" I hissed, rounding on him and pushing him up against a wall. "If you've got something to say, spit it out."_

" _I was just told you'd be more intimidating," he sneered, looking to his friends for support and they all laughed and agreed. Oh, so they all thought that too, hmm? "But look at you. Erwin has already made you his lapdog. You're just Underground scum. Why he even let you into the Cadet Corps is a mystery to everyone and I'd kill you without a second thought. I'd fucking do it."_

 _It was the lapdog that pissed me off. I was nobodies lapdog. Not Erwin's; not any bodies. And was he really threatening to kill me? Me? I'd break his little fucking bones with a flick of my wrist. I snarled and slammed his head against the concrete wall, kicking his knee in and dropping him to the ground. I held his arm out and stomped on it, enjoying the sickening crack that sounded in the room and I left his arm disfigured and most definitely broken. His pain-filled yells filled the empty training room; thank god the actual Scouts had already left. I buzzed with excitement, ready to smash his face when I was tackled by his lackeys and thrown to the ground. Fucking ouch._

 _I was straddled by one of his female lapdogs, who proceeded to punch my rib cage and I definitely felt one crack. I screeched, anger fueling my every move and I managed to pin her to the ground, punching her out cold in one hit. Tunnel vision; I could only see one goal and I only had one in mind. Take them all down. Cadet after cadet, I got them to the ground, beaten and bloody and made sure they were out before moving on to the next one. This will teach them and anyone who doubts my name, my abilities again that I'm not going to be fucked around with. I am the Reaper and I'll kill every last scout if it makes them understand who I am. What I am._

 _I sunk to the ground, completely out of breath and pain spreading through my chest after I got the last one down. Fucking asshole and his assholes friends. If we were in the Underground, I'd have their throats slashed for speaking out of line. I took a moment to catch my breath, holding my tender ribs and closed my eyes. I was going to be in deep shit for this. Hell, they might even kick me out for it. I'd done so well with keeping out of trouble and now look what I'd gotten myself into. "God fucking damn it."_

 _I don't know how long I sat there, hunched over and breathing raggedly from the pain spreading through my body, but I was found by the last person I wanted to see me like this. Eyebrows. He turned the corner, files and paperwork in hand and stopped, his face went from surprise to concern and after calling for someone to take the other cadets to the medical bay, he bent down and watched me carefully. "What happened, Salem?"_

" _He was trying to goad me," I hissed, the adrenaline finally leaving my body and the full extent of the damage they'd all caused on me, had finally started to take effect. I'm hurting like a bitch. "And I played right into his hands. He got what he fucking wanted and I smashed his face into the ground. Oh and I think I've got at least two broken ribs."  
_

 _"Can you walk?" Why is he being so calm about this? Hell, I think I'd rather him yell at me. He just looked concerned and I didn't like it. I pushed myself onto my foot, swaying dangerously before catching myself on the wall. You're not useless, Salem. Fucking walk. I forced myself to take one step after another and followed alongside the Commander and realized quickly enough that he was taking me to the medical wing._

" _I'm fine, Sir," I said, clenching my fist to stop the pain coming through in my voice. "No need to take me to the medical wing."_

 _He turned to me and his eyebrows furrowed in concern and impatience. "Salem," he said, his voice unnervingly calm. Why doesn't he yell at me? Why isn't he kicking me out? "You're hurt and I want Officer Hange to check your ribs. You're no use to anyone if your ribs heal incorrectly."_

 _I sighed dejectedly and nodded, motioning for him to lead the way. We walked in silence, and I opened my mouth several times, trying to force something out but I came up empty. Fuck. For once, I didn't have a smart-ass comment, I didn't have anything. I was genuinely feeling guilty about my actions. When we got to the medical wing, he motioned for me to sit on one of the beds while he walked off, probably trying to find Glasses. I ended up laying down, finding that it felt much better that way and waited._

 _Two minutes later, Eyebrows re-joined my side, Glasses bounding by his side. Still so excitable. Where does she keep it all and how does she muster it in this environment? What is there to love or be excited about in a world where everyone dies? "I'll leave you two, to it," he said, walking to the door. "When you're done Salem, come to my office please."_

 _I nodded and once he was out of sight, I groaned, flopping a little too hard back down on the bed. "Fuck," I hissed, grabbing for my chest._

" _You look like you got it pretty bad," Glasses said, reaching and lifting my shirt so she could have a better look. She bent down, poking and prodding as she went and I only hissed in response, clutching the bed sheets tightly to stop myself from hitting her. "Yup, they really did one on you. Three broken ribs and some serious bruising. There's not much I can do for the ribs except tell you to take it easy; no rigorous training and no more fighting."_

" _Easier said that done, apparently," I said, sighing bitterly. It's not like I wanted to fight everyone that pissed me off. I just had poor control over my anger. Anger kept you safe in the Underground. Anger gave me a purpose while I was stuck in this hell. "Can you look at my hand? I tried strapping it myself, but I think I did a shitty job."  
_

 _She busied herself with un-bandaging my hand and re-bandaging it with fresh gauze, telling me that the swelling should go down soon enough and that I hadn't broken anything. At least I was given one piece of positive news today. I can't imagine Eyebrows will have any good news for me. "Thanks for patching me up. I best get to Commander Erwin's office."_

 _I left her to her own devices and headed towards his office, preparing myself for the scolding of the century. It's not like you can blame anyone else, is it? You're trapped in a corner here, Salem. Walking hurt. Breathing hurt. I was in a shit mood; so it's not a good combination. When I reached his office, I knocked on the door and let myself in when he called for me. I sat down on one of his chairs and waited for him to say something. For the love of god, say something. He rubbed his eyes wearily and watched me, still not fucking saying anything. He was analyzing me, deciding what to say and though I thought about trying to defend myself, I'm sure it would only backfire and get me in more trouble. "What happened?"_

 _That's it? No yelling. No 'I'm sending you back to prison', just what happened? "All morning he was muttering under his breath, throwing threats and after he threatened to kill me, I just flipped. It's my fault, I know and I know I said I would behave. I'm sorry."_

 _I spit that out faster than my brain could handle. At least I apologized._

" _I see," he said, running a hand through his hair. Sitting there in front of him, I noticed how tired he looked. He's probably tired of my shit. "The cadets will be dealt with and punished for their behavior and in regard to your punishment, you'll be on kitchen cleaning duty every meal time for the next two weeks. Understood?"_

 _I nodded and stood, saluting with my injured hand and opened the door. "Uh, Erwin, sir," I said, turning back to look at him. "I'm sorry. You took a gamble having me here, and I'm not exactly proving it was a good decision. I'm trying. I really am."_

" _I know, Salem," he said, his eyebrows softening slightly. "I know you are. Just think about what your actions will do. I know you're used to having an angry facade up to guard yourself, but you've got my protection. Trust in the Survey Corps and if you can't trust the Corps, trust me. Can you do that?"_

 _I hummed an okay, not trusting myself to speak. How could he trust me this much? How could he have this much faith in me? I left my room, not quite sure where I was going to go. There's just too much running through my head right now. I need a break. I ended up in my room, the place I spent most of my time these days and slid down the wall in the corner, pulling my knees to my chest and burying my head in my lap. What the hell am I doing here? I want out._

It took me a while to get back into training, having been given strict instructions to take it easy. Not being able to do what I was best at really had pissed me off. I still sat in on training, doing what I could, but anything further than practicing stances, I was told to sit my ass back down. It was frustrating but given that any sudden movement sent me into a coughing fit of pain, I ended up deciding it was better to just listen to them. No 3DMG gear either. That was hard. To have the chance to fly again and then have that ability torn from you. I had no one else to blame but myself, but it hurt like a bitch. When I wasn't in training, I spent my time cleaning out the stables, training Eren and then cleaning the kitchens after every meal.

Eren was coming along fine, finally believing in his abilities and every time I trained with him, he got better and better. I could almost say I was proud of him. The cadets didn't laugh at him anymore. They didn't have a reason. He'd finally gotten the hang of 3DMG gear, having gone over it with me before I'd fucked myself up and after training, he would come to me and we'd go over his weaknesses. He was improving every day. The only problem I had with him was his little lapdog. Everywhere he went, she was there in the background, watching him like a hawk; as if he would break any moment. Doesn't she realize that he's stronger than she gives him credit for. This kid powers through everything and still remains humble about it, telling himself and others he could do better.

I later learnt her name was Mikasa, courtesy of Eren after I'd asked him why she's always watching. It seemed Eren was also opposed to her behavior but let her do it because it made her feel better. He'd told me they joined the Cadet Corps together, being adoptive brother and sister and she was over protective, is all. She certainly was good at everything she did in the Cadet Corps; fighting, 3DMG gear you name it, she was almost perfect at it first go. If she hadn't annoyed me so much, perhaps I would have thought about bringing her back with me too.

It all blew up after she cornered me in the bathroom, telling me that if I so much as thought about hurting Eren, she'd have my head. She'd followed me in, scowling as per usual and after dealing with her shitty attitude for so long, I'd finally had enough and demanded an answer on what her problem was. I guess this is what it's like dealing with me…

" _What's your problem?" I said, rounding on Mikasa who'd been following me for the last two minutes. I'd had it up to here with her insufferable pining for the boy who didn't even know she felt that way for him. "I've dealt with your shit for this long, but I'm done. You need to check yourself and your little crush on him. I'm not here to deal with your shit. I'm just here to train him. If you have a problem, spit it out now or forever hold your peace."_

 _She scowled, gripping the red scarf she always wore in her clenched hands and she jabbed my chest, something I wasn't expecting her to do. "If you hurt Eren in anyway-"she began, but I cut her off with a scoff._

" _-Don't you think I'd have done something by now," I hissed, jabbing her back in the chest. If she wants to fight childish, I'll fight childish. Seeing her face fall made me sigh and I hooked my towel over one of the shower doors. "Look, I get it. You want to protect him. He's different from the others; he still has his innocence. But I'm just trying to help him be the soldier he wants to be. The quicker he learns, the better off he'll be if when he graduates and joins the Corps."_

 _She faltered, clearly surprised by the fact all of my anger disappeared almost straight away. I didn't want to fight her. She was just young and protective. I can't fault her. I was like that once. "I-" she couldn't finish her sentence, so I turned to her and crossed my arms over my chest._

" _Look, I know you're concerned. I get it, I don't exactly have the best track record but I swear I'm just doing this to help him. He wants to graduate from the Cadet Corps and he's going to be a good soldier. I don't have any ulterior motives-" what she doesn't know won't kill her "-no secret plans. I admire the kids guts to do what so many others are too afraid to do. I just want to help him, is all. Now can I please shower in peace?"_

 _She nodded and silently left the showers, leaving me to clean myself in peace. I was that protective once. I would have done anything to keep my family safe. I guess she's not so bad after all… just fucking annoying._

After about three weeks of no rigorous training and my encounter with Mikasa, I finally decided I felt good enough to start training again. Sure it still hurt every time I was flipped or hit, but it was better than sitting and doing nothing. I finally started feeling like myself again, being able to busy myself with something other than kids, dirt or animals. My punishment from Erwin also ended, leaving me overjoyed at the fact I wouldn't have to spend my time cleaning dirty dishes and tables. I'd managed to stay out of trouble and that alone, made me proud. I was blending in better, going unnoticed and this was vital if I was going to get out of here. Part of me thought that escaping would be a complete betrayal of Erwin's trust, something that made my stomach churn when I thought about it, but I also wanted to go home. I wanted to see Sebastian again. My time will come, I thought, lowering myself on to the roofs edge again. I'll be back with Sebastian in no time.

 **Chapter three done! I hope you're all enjoying so far and I wanted to give a shout out to kawaii-anya, who left the first review for this story. You're review made me smile and I'm glad you're enjoying Salem's character. When I first started writing her, I had doubts about the decision I made on how I'd have her act around other people and mentally; the explosive anger etc, but as you pointed out, there is definitely a reason for the way she acts. Thanks for you review and I hope you enjoyed the new chapter!**

 **To everyone else, I hope you enjoyed the new chapter and don't forget to leave a like and a review! I'll see you guys in the next chapter, which will hopefully be sooner rather than later.**

 **-TheQueenOfTheWarFlowers**


	4. Knives and breakdowns are a bad combo

I found myself siting in Erwin's office again, having one of our little shindigs where he checked up on me. I still didn't see the point, but it kept him happy. I was sat in front of him and fingered the one thing I'd waited to bring up. "Sir," I said, putting the letter on his desk. "I was wondering… I know my behavior has been questionable and you don't have to send it right now, but would you be able to send this letter to Sebastian?" He picked the letter up and eyed it carefully. "I know what you're thinking and if it makes you feel better, read it. It's not business. I just miss him and wanted to let him know I'm alive... I don't think he knows."

"I don't think that will be necessary, Salem, "he said, sliding the letter into his top draw. "I'll see what I can do, given the fact that your business is extremely hard to find and let you know when it's been sent."

Well that was easier than I thought it would be. Now I felt stupid for rehearsing an entire speech about why he should send it. Soon after, he ushered me out, saying that he had a meeting he needed to attend and I was left to my own devices. Merche had shown up after a month away and I was quick to offer the same apology I gave Shobha and our relationship had definitely gotten better. They weren't as opposed to letting my wander off on my own, but if I was being perfectly honest, I didn't stray that far from my room anymore. It kept me out of trouble and Shobha and Merche made sure I was left alone, just like I liked it and how Erwin intended it. At least I'm following the rules I was given when I first joined the Cadet Corps. Better late than never, I thought.

For the last month, I'd been concentrating on planning and Eren. It gave me a good way to vent how I was feeling inside and it kept me busy. Soon, Eren wouldn't need my help anymore and though I was mostly happy about that, part of me would also miss being able to help him. We'd actually formed what you could call a friendship and through association, I'd started speaking with Mikasa and Armin. Eren had introduced me to Armin during one of our training sessions with Shadis and though he was apprehensive of me first, we came to an understanding. He knew I wasn't going to hurt Eren, so he left me be. Mikasa had been keeping her distance since our little discussion, which I appreciated and even Eren had commented, saying that she'd even backed off when they were alone. I semi-told him about what had happened and he gave me props, saying I was the first person to call her out in all of the time he'd known her.

Eren and I had moved on to sparring together and I was still much better than him, he was keeping up with me. I was proud.

" _You ready?" I asked, raising my fists and knocking his shoulder playfully. I rounded on him, fists held up ready and winked. "I'm not going easy on you today, Yaeger."_

" _I was born ready," he responded, getting into his fighting stance, determination in his eyes and a grin on his face. So it's like that, is it? "And when have you ever gone easy on me?"_

 _I chuckled and returned a grin. "Oh you have no idea," I said, and closed the gap between us. I threw the first punch, grazing his shoulder and swung out my leg, trying to catch his side. I couldn't help but be impressed when he managed to dodge it and land a blow on my hip. I grinned, ducking under his outstretched arm and pushed him forwards, making him stumble forwards but he caught himself, spinning around to face me again. "You're a lot faster," I commented, throwing a punch while he lashed out with his foot. "But are you fast enough?"_

" _I guess we'll see," he yelled, lunging for me. I did the same thing and we tumbled to the floor, Eren pinning me to the ground and wrapping his arms around my throat. Bold move, Yaeger. The only problem was he left his back and legs open for me to hit. I flicked my legs between his and used the momentum to flip us over so I was pinning him down with my knees and arms. He couldn't move and I had every opportunity to hit him, but I didn't. The winner was clear.  
_

" _I win," I grinned, getting up and holding out an outstretched hand. He took it and I hoisted him to his feet, patting his head. "You did good, kid."  
"One day I'll win," he said, mirroring my actions by brushing himself down._

 _I hummed in agreement and pushed my hair out of my face, sweeping my long braids over my shoulder. "One day," I agreed. "I've been training since I was thirteen years old. I've had ten years of practice over you. One day you'll be as good as me, maybe even better. You just have to keep training. Oh and before you go, can you come here for a sec?"_

 _He nodded and stood by my side, waiting expectantly for me to say something. I'd been sitting on this for a while, waiting for the right moment and I finally felt like the time had come. "I have something to give you," I said, reaching into my boot and pulling out the long sheath I'd stashed in it. I held it out for him to take and watched him as he examined it carefully. "When I first started training, I was given a knife to train with. Everyone deserves a good knife to practice with, so I got one for you."_

 _I trailed off, feeling awkward and shuffled aimlessly on the spot. I really wasn't good at these things; at expressing any feeling that wasn't anger. Don't ask me where I got it because I would deny every accusation.  
_

" _Thank you," he whispered, twirling the knife clumsily in his hands. "I-"_

" _-It's okay," I murmured, a small smile gracing my lips. We were similar in that way. He had problems expressing any emotions that wasn't driven by killing titans. I guess that's why we got on so well. "Now go get cleaned up. Dinners starting any moment."_

 _He nodded and disappeared into the cadets quarters, leaving me alone with Shobha. Oh yeah, he's still sticking around, watching me closely but we're doing better. Shobha was normally the one to keep an eye on me while Merche busied himself with other things. He'd told me it wasn't personal, he was just needed elsewhere. I could respect that._

" _That was a nice thing you did," Shobha said, flicking his head to where Eren disappeared. I wouldn't say we'd gotten closer, but Shobha and I had definitely progressed our relationship in a good way._

" _Someone needs to believe in him," I whispered, following him into the cell block._

After leaving Eyebrow's office, I ended up in the mess-hall with a tray of food at my usual table. Almost everybody had gotten used to my presence on the compound and I was mostly left alone. Sometimes Eren and his shadows would join me to eat and other times I was left alone to eat in silence. Today I was left to my own devices, eating in silence while watching everyone around me. I locked gaze with the cadet who's arm I'd broken and raised an eyebrow. I still didn't know his name, but I'd heard of Erwin that after Hange patched him and his lapdogs up, they were punished and instructed to clean the stables and kitchen for a month. They were also told that if they came anywhere near me or said anything and he found out, they'd be thrown out of the Cadet Corps and barred from ever trying to join again. Justice was served and I couldn't complain.

He dropped his gaze and went back to conversing with his lapdogs, but something just didn't feel right. They kept shooting me glances and I couldn't be sure it was because they were afraid or talking about me. Being gawked at put me off me food so I finished the last of it quickly by stuffing it all in my mouth, then put the tray back to be washed. I didn't make it far though because my name was called and I was told to stop. I wonder what they want?

Being called into Shorty's office was not on today's agenda, but here I was being led by a random Scout, to his office after being requested. I wonder what he wants? We'd been actively avoiding each other, mostly because we just ended up arguing. I don't know what his problem with me was, but if he was going to treat me like shit, I thought it was only fair to return the favor. It's only fair, I told myself. We no longer snapped and snarled at each other. We knew where we stood and that was enough. I didn't like him and he didn't like me. It was simple.

The scout pointed at what I could only assume was the door to Shorty's office and left me standing there alone, staring at it I've never been in his office. He always preferred to reprimand me in front of everyone. I think he might have a secret kink for shaming people in public. It probably made him feel better.

Here goes nothing, I thought, knocking on the door and letting myself in. I had no words. Nothing to describe how clean and organized his office was. Even Eyebrows had nothing on him, but I get it now. The disgusted looks. The constant filth comments. Shorty was a clean freak. Everything was spotless and packed away neatly and I had a feeling that if I touched anything, he would have a meltdown because it wasn't how he liked it.

Speaking of Shorty, he was sitting behind his desk with neatly piled stacks of paperwork covering the majority of its surface area. Damn. I guess being a Captain does have its downfalls. I didn't say anything, just stood there, waiting for him to tell me what to do. I learned that this method usually worked best. He looked up from his papers, analyzing me until he deemed me proper enough. "Sit," he ordered, returning to his paperwork. I scowled but did as I was told. He was a disrespectful cow. He may hate me, but his manners are god awful. We sat in silence for a full five minutes before he finally put down his pen, cracked his neck and looked at me. Yes, I'm still here, Shorty. "Nile Dok is considering sending you back to death row."

I froze and stared at him trying to gauge if he was being serious or not. Of course, he was being serious. Shorty didn't make jokes. He'd said it so casually, like he was announcing the weather or something mundane. They were going to send me back? Why would Erwin… "What?"

"Are you surprised?" Levi questioned, an eyebrow raised. "He heard word of your behavior. Disobeying orders. Getting into fights. It's clear you don't want to be here. What did you expect?"

He didn't look the least bit concerned. Why would he? He really is just an emotionless bastard. Would Erwin send me back? The meeting Erwin had pardoned himself for, could it be? He stuck his neck out for me and look how I'd repaid him. All I'd done is prove to him and Dok, that this was a mistake. "Dok is sending me back?"

He nodded. "It's on the cards," he said, watching me like a hawk. "Erwin's currently in a meeting with him, trying to fight your case and keep you here, but there's only so much he can do. If he manages to keep you here, the only way you're staying here is if you show behavioral improvement and that's not likely, is it? Now if you'll excuse me, I have paper-"  
"-I don't want to die." My statement took us both by surprise. I wasn't expecting to say that, to Captain Asshat of all people and he definitely wasn't expecting me to say something like that. What the hell am I doing. "I know I act like a reckless twat, but I don't want to go back. I don't want to die."

What the hell am I doing? Once I started I couldn't stop. I needed someone to know. Shorty shifted uncomfortably in his chair, unsure of what to say and I ran a hand through my white hair, pushing it away from my face. If they're going to send me back, I need to leave now. I was running out of time. My plan was primitive, but I had faith it would work, every lunch time they rotated the guards on the compound perimeter and they had a weak spot; the training forest. If I could snag some gear, risky as it was, I could get out. I hope I can get out.

"Trying to escape won't work," Shorty said, a knowing look in his eye. Did… did he know about my little plan, or am I just that readable? "Yeah I know about your little escape plan. In fact, I know about all of your plans. You probably shouldn't write them down in such detail. I-"

"-you searched my room?" I growled, glaring at him. Privacy means nothing here, apparently! "You're an asshole. A straight up dick."

"I burnt them all," Levi said, acting as if I hadn't spoken. He'd burnt all my notes? Everything? I stopped and narrowed my eyes. He searched my room, took all of my notes and burnt them. I'm going to kill them. I slammed my fist on his desk, clenching it tightly to stop myself from vaulting his desk and throttling him myself. I felt the all too familiar buzz spreading through my body. I wanted to hit someone. I needed to hit someone. "While the Commander is gone, he's requested constant guard presence on your behalf. You'll go nowhere alone or unrestrained until he gets back. You're excused from training and chores today. You'll be confined to your room. Got it?"

"Did you burn the letters?" My voice was quiet, perhaps I was too afraid to know the answer, but I needed to know. He didn't speak, only nodded with a small smirk on his face. He was enjoying this. He knew it would hurt me… he did this on purpose. I didn't cry. I haven't cried since Sebastian and I went into hiding, but I was pissed. "I hate you, Levi Ackerman."

I stood and kicked the door open, holding out my arms for Shobha and Merche, who I knew would have been called the moment I went into Captain Asshat's office. They cuffed my wrists with guilty expressions on their faces and led me back to my room. I didn't speak. I didn't look at them. I was so fucking angry. I was lead back to my room and forced inside, Shobha muttering an apology before closing the door and locking it. I looked to the window, which I had kept open the entire time I'd been in this room and saw that it was closed. I marched up to it and tried to pries it open, but it wouldn't budge and I knew for a fact it was too thick to break. They'd catch on fast to what I was trying to do and put an end to that. I really have been caged.

I couldn't help myself; I was angry. I screamed and yelled. Threw everything I could get my hands on across the room as best I could, the restraints making it harder but each time something broke or splintered, it soothed the anger radiating from my body. I had to get this anger out, my fear. I had to do something otherwise I was going to go crazy. Eventually I burned myself out and sunk to the ground, pushing myself into a corner while banging my head against the wall every so often. My life really had been one shit show after another. First my parents dying. Then losing my family. Being torn away from my empire; from Sebastian and now this. Execution. Would Sebastian ever know what happened to me? How could I leave him like that? The way the rest of them did… "God fucking damn it!" I yelled, slamming my head against the concrete. My vision swum and I felt something drip onto my shoulder. I reached up and touched the back of my head. Blood, I thought to myself when I inspected my fingers. What does it matter though? I'd be dead soon anyway. I laughed bitterly to myself and closed my eyes, sitting in silence; waiting for the verdict. I'd never given up, not until now.

I must have fallen asleep during the time I was waiting for Erwin, because I was gently shaken awake and when I opened my eyes, my gaze fell upon the man of the hour himself; Erwin fucking Smith. "They're going to kill me, aren't they?" Was the first thing I said, staring up at him. I must've looked like a sight for sore eyes. My hair was tangled and nest-like, blood contrasting brightly against my white hair and my fingers were covered in small cuts from when I'd started throwing things.

He crouched down and carefully pulled my head forwards, looking at the damage I'd done to myself. Why does he care? I'm being sent back… I'm not his problem anymore. "What have you done to yourself?" He muttered, offering me a hand and a handkerchief to wipe my face. I let him pull me to my feet and guide me wherever the hell he was taking me. Probably back to the cart that would take me back to Dok, to my death.

"Does it matter?" I whispered, realizing how tired I was. I'd always been told that execution was quick. I'd watched prisoners come and go in my two years in prison. They were always so afraid, but it was almost always quick. I'd seen it myself. In the Underground, executions are seen as a form of entertainment. I'd dealt with how hard it was to see other people cheering on the death of your family. I knew how it felt. I was joining them though. What a sad, shitty life, but I'd always said, karma's a bitch like that. "They're going to execute me. I'll just finish the job myself so they won't have to bother. Give me ten minutes and I'm good to go."

I felt Erwin's hand on the small of my back, almost in a comforting way and he led me into his office, one of the medics following close behind. Instead of going behind his desk like normal, he sat in the chair opposite and watched me carefully, almost tenderly as the medic cleaned my head. Once he was gone and we were left alone, Erwin lent forwards and clasped his hands together. "What happened, Salem?"

I stared at him, unable to form the right words. Why didn't he just say it already? Why was he making me spell it out for him? "I'm being sent back. Captain Levi told me everything. Dok is sending me back." I couldn't hide the crack in my voice. God. I was so pathetic. Even when I was taken away from my home, from Sebastian I wasn't this weak.

"You're not being sent back," he murmured, reaching for some paperwork on his desk. He handed it to me and I read it and read it again just to make sure I was reading it correctly. "You're not being sent back, Salem. I presented your case to Officer Dok and shed light on the improvements you've been making throughout your time here. You may not see it, but your behavior has improved ten-fold since you got here. As a result, Officer Dok has agreed to allow you to stay within the Cadet Corps."

What does he mean improved? Shorty was right. All I'd done was get into fights and disobey orders. What case could Erwin have against that? "How could you have possibly proven that I've changed; that I am changing?"

"It's enough to know that you think twice about doing something you shouldn't," he explained, taking the piece of paper back from me and setting it down. "When you make a mistake, you own up for it; you don't fight the punishment. You're not the same person you were when you were first brought here, Salem and I wasn't going to just let Officer Dok call you back."

"You're mad," I managed to say, a laugh mixed in with my words. Eyebrows was insane, but he saw something in me that nobody else did. Potential. And to think, two years ago I would've happily sliced his throat. Erwin smiled when I called him mad and stood, returning to his seat behind his desk. "You really have a lot of faith in me, don't you?"

"I do and I think your finally realizing that trusting in the Survey Corps, in me, isn't such a bad idea after all."

I spent another twenty minutes in his office, speaking every so often, but really, I think I was there because he wanted to make sure I was okay. I don't think I'll ever understand what goes on in that man's head. The longer I sat there though, the more the exhaustion caught up with me and when I was practically sleeping in his chair, I dismissed myself and walked back to my room. When I got to the door, I found Shobha leaning against the wall and when he saw me, his eyes widened and he stepped towards me. "You're not being sent back?"

I shook my head. "You can't get rid of me that easily," I said, trying to convey an ounce of humor in my voice. So he really did worry about what happened to me. He sighed a sigh of relief when I told him I was staying and he patted me on the shoulder.

"I'm glad," he muttered before leaving me in peace. Maybe I'd made more friends than I'd cared to admit before. I told myself when I got here I would be in and out, no friends no connections but here I was, with some semblance of a family. What am I doing? I'm only going to hurt them, but then again, the idea of leaving was becoming less appealing the more I thought about it. And this wasn't something that just happened today. When I scribbled plans and notes, I found myself tasting something bitter in my mouth; almost as if I didn't want to go. I was worried about Sebastian though. I wanted to go back to him and live how we did before, but I couldn't quite tell myself that was the plan.

I fell asleep quickly that night. My emotions had been all over the place and not being used to that really took it out of me. I slept through the night and was only woken when I my chest started feeling weird. Eventually, I managed to force my eyes open, blinking until they got accustomed to the light but there was no light. Why is everything so black? I reached my hand up in front of me, but I couldn't see that either. I quickly put two and two together. Smoke. There's smoke everywhere. I glanced around wildly, covering my mouth as best as I could to protect my lungs from the smoke, but the damage was done. I couldn't breathe without coughing and that's when I realized something was really wrong. Fire. The buildings on fire.

 **Oh boy, I'm leaving it on a cliffhanger. I hope you enjoyed the latest chapter and let me know what you thought in the review section. I know it's alittle shorter than what I normally post, but it felt better for me to finish it here than to keep going. I like a little suspense. I'm glad that those who are reading it are enjoying so far, so until the next chapter – have a nice day!**

 **-QueenOfTheWarFlowers**


	5. Staying Alive by the Bee Gees

Smoke was pouring into my room from under the door and I knew that if I didn't move fast, getting out of this building would be near impossible. My room was as the top of the building, save one floor and though this building wasn't big, navigating it in the smoke was going to be hard. My chest felt tight, forcing me to cough to help myself breathe. It was like I couldn't catch my breath. I tore a piece of my blanket off to cover my face and using the rest of the blanket to protect my hand, I went to open the door… but it wouldn't budge. They'd locked me in? Apart from yesterday, neither Shobha or Merche had locked me in my room since I first got here, so why would they lock it now? I slammed my fist against the door, calling for help but there wasn't anyone there. Shit. Keep a level head, Salem. You're not dying in a fire today.

I glanced around my room, trying to figure out a way out and my only way out was the window. Why would they lock me in? The door was metal and I wouldn't be able to break it with anything, but I at least had a fighting chance to break the glass. Thick as it is, if I hit it enough it's going to break, right? What can I break the glass with? The only think I could imagine would work would be one of the table legs. I flipped the table over and started kicking the closest leg and once it snapped and fell to the ground, I picked it up and started banging it against the glass. It did almost nothing. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. There goes that idea. I threw it behind me in anger and ran a hand through my hair. Think, Salem. There's got to be something to get me out of here.

There's literally nothing that I can use in this god damn fucking room, unless… I started fumbling around, reaching out and trying to find my gear. Eventually, my hands landed on the gas mechanism and after picking it up, I started slamming it against the wall, breaking it so I was left with a chunk of metal. Metal is strong. Metal will break the window. Please let it break the window.

It took me a few attempts to break the glass but when it shattered, I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders and I internally complemented myself. I can do this. Using my bed sheet, I punched the rest of the glass out and forced my way out onto the ledge. I can't go up because I'll just get stuck and then I'm definitely going to die, so down is my best option, but even then, I'm going to have to force myself back into the building and try and get down from there. The uneven stone ended at least thirty feet above ground and even I wasn't stupid enough to try and attempt that fall. I'd sooner kill myself that way, than burning in the fire. I lowered myself from the ledge and found foot holds for my feet and slowly, but surely, I started climbing down the side of the building. I could hear a commotion outside, at least the others know there's a fire, but what about the other prisoners? Did they know? It's not like I could knock on every single door and warn them; it's up to them to defend themselves. Just focus on yourself.

In the distance I could yells and pain-filled screams…The fire got to them first.

How the hell had this happened? It's not like fire is a common occurrence on the compound. The only time I'd seen someone tending to a fire was in the kitchen and in the fireplaces, but there weren't any in this building. How had the building caught on fire if there was nothing to provoke it? Something wasn't right, but my thoughts were cut off when my foot slipped and I ended up dangling forty feet in the air. Wouldn't it be a bitch if I was afraid of heights? I regained my footing and lowered myself down to the lowest window before the stone gave out. This window wasn't locked like mine and luckily for me, it was open. Now I'm definitely sure someone locked me in my room, but why?

I pulled it open all the way then lowered myself into the room. Where the hell am I? Smoke had filled the rooms and corridors, concealing the bodies of the other criminals I knew had perished in the fire and making me practically blind and suffocating. Am I really going to die this way? How anti-climactic. I used my arm to shield my face as best as I could from the burning fumes, but I was still coughing uncontrollably as it filled my lungs. I can't breathe. I need to find a way out. I'm not dying in this shit hole and so, I pressed on.

I stumbled through the first corridor, using the wall as a guide in the darkness. Come on, Salem. You can do this. The violent coughing kept me keeled over in agony. Just a little further, I told myself. The flames licked at my body, making me wince every time the heat made contact with my skin. I didn't sign up for this bullshit. I kept moving down corridor after corridor until I reached a door. Doors can either be a good thing or a bad thing. Barricade or exit. Please be an exit. I made the mistake of reaching for the handle and instantly recoiled when my hand exploded with pain. My pain-filled cries filled the empty corridor. Son of a bitch. I held my hand close to my chest, cradling it gently while the pain worked its way up my arm. Don't touch white hot metal. It hurts like a bitch. Guess I'm going to have to kick it down instead. At least this time the majority of the door is wood.

Thirteen kicks. It took thirteen kicks and a swollen ankle, but I was finally through. No time to think about it now though. I ignored the pain working its way up my leg and through my chest, using the wall to hold me up and lead the way. I was basically just a giant ball of pain. I'm going to hurt like a bitch if I make it out of this alive.

"Is there anybody in here?"

My ears picked up the yell among the burning debris and I turned, trying to find the source of the noise. Someone was in here? Had they come to save me? I stopped, turning my head so I could listen and see if I wasn't hallucinating. Now's not the time to go a little crazy, Salem.

"Is anybody in here?"

Again I heard the voice. Someone is definitely in here and they're definitely calling out. I've got to find them. I followed the direction of the yells, moving through the burnt corridor. I just want to sit down and take a break. I'm so tired. "I'm down here," I yelled, trying to be as loud as I could. Please find me.

My movements had become sluggish and I'd become reliant on the wall to keep myself upright. I'd been in the smoke too long. My brain was cooking from the inside out. I feel like a slug.

"Where are you?"

I know that voice. Levi? Is that really him? Why would he be in here looking for criminals? He despised them; he despised me. I pushed myself from the wall clumsily and stumbled down the corridor until I reached a door, a door that was locked. Shit. "I'm in here!"

Please find me. "Salem?"

"I'm in here," I yelled, banging on the door, not caring that my skin split with each hit. "They locked me in."

I could hear him banging on the other side, trying to get the door open, but it was no use; the door wasn't going to open. "I can't get it open," he yelled, the banging on the door stopping suddenly. He's giving up on me. You and me both, I thought bitterly.

Well shit. I didn't think I'd be dying in a burning building, but fate's a cruel bitch like that. Today's had its ups and downs. "Go," I yelled, sliding down the wall and curling myself into a ball. For fucks sake. What a shit way to go. I rubbed the sweat from my brow and rested my head against the wall. "You need to go, Levi. This place is coming down and there's no point in you burning with me. Just go. It's okay."

"I can't just leave you," he replied, yelling to be heard over the roaring flames. Does he have a death wish, or is he just stupid?

"Either we both die or just me. Go. It's okay-" my words had started to slur and jumble together. "-Just do me a favor. Tell Sebastian I love him."

I couldn't quite keep my eyes open and everything had gone strangely quiet. I could hear him yelling something, but I was so damn tired. Is this what it's like to die, because if it is, I'm at peace. I finally closed my eyes and gave in to the darkness that called my name.

How cruel. My life had ended before it even began.

There are many ways I like to be woken up. With food. Gently. Hell, even an alarm. I do not, however, enjoy being woken up by being pinned down and having oxygen forced into my lungs. My eyes snapped open and all I could feel was the agony spreading through my body. My muffled pain-filled howls only made my chest hurt even more. God, fucking, please stop. Please stop. It hurts. It hurts so bad. The pain was too much and I blacked out again, slumping into a heap on the ground. At least I'm not dead… I hope I'm not dead. This could be some sick demented kind of hell. We all knew I was going there.

When I next woke up, I was in the medical wing in one of their beds. Both my hands were bandaged, along with my ankle and my chest felt like it was filled with concrete. At least I know how it feels to smoke now. I forced my eyes open, blinking at the harsh light and found Eren sitting by my bed side. Everything feels like lead, including my thought process. I still felt lumpy, so my movements were slow and clumsy, but I managed to get his attention by clumsily smacking his arm and his eyes went wide, calling for Hange to come.

I opened my mouth, trying to force words to come up but the combination of a dry and burnt throat made it impossible. "You won't be able to speak for a while," Hange said, waltzing over with a file in her hand. I can't speak? How long is that going to last? God, my brain feels like fucking mush. "Do you remember what happened, Salem?"

Is she expecting me to answer that? I moved my head fractionally, nodding and she hummed under her breath, writing something down in the file. Eren offered me a glass of water, and I opened my mouth, letting him pour its contents down my throat. I don't know if you've ever burnt your throat before, but nothing hurts, but also relieves the pain quite like it. Speaking of Eren, why was he here?

"Both your hands were damaged in the fire," she continued, motioning to the lumps on the end of my arms. Yeah, I remember. One was burnt and the other one was used to smack metal. Not my finest moment, I'll admit. "You also suffered minor burns on various parts of your body, along with burnt lungs from smoke inhalation and damaged throat tissue. You won't be going anywhere, any time soon but after recovering, you'll be almost as good as new."

I'm stuck here? I grumbled internally and slumped my head back on the pillow. Wait, I need to speak to Erwin. I used my hand to smack Eren again, who frowned at me, but caught on pretty quickly. I kept blinking at Hange's file until he pointed at it. "You want paper?" I flicked my head again and Hange handed him the paper, which he put on the table next to me and held out the pencil she'd given him so I could take it. Another thing we must all consider is how fucking hard it is to write, when your hand resembles an inflated balloon more than it does a hand. It was sloppy, but Erwin was spelt out clearly enough for them to read. "Erwin? You want Erwin?"

Another flick of my head and he was off, getting the one person I needed to talk to. I have some weird theories running through my head right now and I need to tell someone. My gaze shifted back to Hange, who was still writing things down in her file and I lifted the pencil again writing down the one thing I was afraid to ask.

"Alive?" She questioned, and I flicked my head. She grimaced, something I hadn't seen her do in all of my time here and she rubbed her eyes wearily. I'd never seen her this sombre. It didn't suit her. "Out of the forty three criminal cadets we enrolled, twenty six perished in the fire, seven are in critical condition, including you and the final twelve suffered from smoke inhalation; along with the other cadets who braved the fire to find survivors."

That many died. I blinked slowly, hoping she understood what I was trying to say and she smiled gently. I tried to speak, only managing an estranged gurgle but she patted my leg gently. "I know," she muttered, closing the file and tucking it under her arm. "You should get some rest. I've been part of the Survey Corps for fourteen years and I've never seen anyone get into as much trouble as you; or put their body under so much stress as you-" at least I'm winning at something, I thought. "-I like your determination."

She winked and then she was gone. Hange Zoe was as crazy as they came, but in a world like this, maybe crazy is what we needed. I dipped in and out of consciousness, often finding myself falling asleep without realizing and after falling asleep again, I woke to find Eyebrows himself, sitting by the side of my bed. When he noticed I was awake, he nodded and smiled gently. "How are you?" I shook my head and he nodded understandingly. "No. I don't suppose you're feeling that good. Cadet Yaeger said that you wanted to see me?"

I flicked my head and reached for the pencil again. Scribbling sloppily, I cursed myself for being so useless. Why is this so hard? Fuck everything. When I finished writing, I pushed the paper towards him with my finger. He picked it up and read it, processing it before putting the paper back down. "Door locked?" He questioned. I flicked my head. Please understand what I'm trying to say. If I could talk, I'd tell you everything. He looked like he was thinking, staying silent for a moment before coming to a conclusion. "The door to your room. Was it locked?"

Yes! A flick of my head and he frowned, rubbing his chin. "It shouldn't have been locked," he murmured, to himself more than me. He's getting to what I'm thinking slowly. C'mon Eyebrows. Don't let me down now. Use that big brain of yours and put two and two together. "You think someone started the fire and locked you in?"

I gurgled in response and he nodded. "That's a serious accusation, Salem," he said, watching me closely. Did he think I was making this up? Why would I? It wouldn't be surprising if someone was trying to kill me. People had been trying to kill me since I started my business at fifteen. Believe me, Eyebrows. I'm not lying. "If you think someone is trying to kill you," he said, the cogs in his brain clearly working. At least he believes me. "I'm going to have to conduct an investigation into the matter. Do you have any other evidence to support your theory?"  
I reached for the pencil again and started writing slowly, ignoring the pain that spread through my hand and up my arm. Focus on the task at hand, I told myself, concentrating fully on each letter and once again, pushed the paper towards him when I finished. "Suspicious," he muttered, reading my words. "Cadet. Broken arm. Dinner. Something happened. The Cadet you got into a fight with, you have reason to suspect him?"

I flicked my head and he nodded. I mean he's the only person who seems to have a serious vendetta against me. He even said he would kill me without a second thought. Erwin stood, brushing down his uniform and reached for the paper on the table. "You have my word I'll look into your claim," he said, looking over me and my pathetic condition. Yeah, I'm fucking useless right now. "Get some rest, Salem. I'll come by if anything comes of it."

I grunted and watched him leave, my eyes closing against my will as I fell asleep again. I don't think I've slept this much since I was a kid.

It took a week and a half of Hange's speech therapy to get me back to speaking. Even then though, my voice was raspy and dry; something she said would eventually go away. She also advised me to keep speaking to a minimum, something I said would be hard because I had almost two weeks worth of insults to catch up on. The swelling of my ankle had gone down and there was no major damage. No broken bones or sprained joints. My leg was good to go. My right hand, the hand that had been cut open in the fire had finally been un-bandaged, showing a clean stitched line which was surrounded by heavy bruising but was slowly and surely healing. The cut ran from the tip of my pinky to the right side on my wrist and I commented that it would make it hard to write for a while. It was nasty, but it would heal and I would add it to my list of scars. My left hand unfortunately was in a much nastier state. Hange had told me that the burn had done deep damage to my hand, that though I'd still be able to use it, the muscles would forever be stiff and I'd be left with a scar. I didn't mind the scar aspect. Scars were proof that I'd lived. I was, however, bothered by the fact that my hand was permanently damaged. What did that mean? If my hand left me incapable of doing the things I could before, I would throw a fit like nobody had seen before. The news left me in a sour mood and I was left alone for the afternoon while I calmed down. What a fucking shit show. If my theory was right and there was foul play, I'd kill whoever did this. I'd kill everyone involved.

Another month and I was allowed to leave the medical wing, limping through the compound with Eren by my side. I felt completely and utterly useless. I hadn't gone this long since I was a kid. I hated it. Eren had been visiting me every chance he got, keeping me company when I felt like it or sitting in silence with me while I thought. I thought back to when he first approached me, saying he thought I looked like I needed a friend and I chuckled to myself. He was still trying. "Where am I staying now?" I questioned, looking up at Eren who was keeping a trained eye on me. My voice was less raspy, but the damage was still obvious. It hurt like fuck, but Hange said that I would eventually strengthen my voice back to normal. I hope she's fucking right. "Where are all of the criminal cadets staying?"

"Most of the criminal cadets that survived are being sent to spare quarters in the cadet corps building," he said, holding the door open for me and waiting for me to walk through. So they're staying with the other cadets? Am I staying with the other cadets? I hope fucking not. "Commander Erwin has set up private quarters in an old attic for you, above the Cadet Corps quarters. He said you enjoyed and preferred the solitude."

I chuckled quietly and followed Eren through the compound. Eyebrows was up to his old antics again. At least he was giving me space. I wonder if anyone else got this much special treatment? I wonder if he's got a thing for me? That alone made me grin evilly. That man was married to the job. There would never be time for a wife. "How's your training going?"

He kept me entertained, telling me about how he was rising through the ranks of the cadets, slowly but surely getting better at each area of training. I could see the look in his eye, the confidence he was getting from finally excelling at something. It suited him and he deserved it. I don't think anyone had put as much effort into training as him. Once we reached my new room, he muttered something about leaving me to it and left me sitting on my bed alone. Now this was solitude. The room had the same makeup as my old one; a cot, a desk and chair and a large circular window, but there was also a box on the desk; my name written on the front in black ink. I walked over to it and found a not resting on the lid. I picked up the note and opened it, reading the following;

 _Salem,_

 _After my meeting with Commander Dok, I managed to retrieve your belongings from before your processing. Everything you had on your person is in this box. All weapons have been confiscated for obvious reasons, but I deemed everything else appropriate._

 _Please come to my office at eight, so we can discuss your theory further._

 _Commander Erwin._

Straight to the point. I folded the note and placed it on the desk. He wants to have a meeting later? I hope he's got something to prove that I'm not going crazy. And the box; he said it held my possessions from before I went to prison. I wonder… I pushed the lid open slowly and clasped a hand to my mouth. It was there. The one thing that broke me when it was taken from me. I reached into the box and pulled out the five chains I'd connected to a leather sling. I fingered them carefully and held them close to my chest, cradling them gently. How did Erwin manage to get them?

After holding them to my chest in silence, I pulled the leather over my head and onto my shoulder, the chains looping around my body and resting on my torso. The various sized chains covered my chest and back, and heavy as they were, it was a weight I told myself I was always going to carry. My head was filled with emotions; sadness, happiness and everything in between; something that didn't happen often. I finally had my family back. I kept my promise.

I dug into the rest of the box, finding the clothes I was wearing the day I was arrested; a white oversized shirt, black pants, worn boots and a long black coat that was covered in decorations that signaled my status within my empire. They were in a shabby state, but I folded them neatly and hid them under my bed, telling myself that in the off chance I would need them, I should probably get them washed. I dug into the box again and picked out the remaining items; a necklace I received for my fourteenth birthday, something that was very dear to me and I clasped it around my neck straight away. The only other thing in the box was a piece of paper, a drawing Sebastian had given me and I tucked it into my trouser pocket after staring at it. It was a drawing of me that he'd done one day when I was beyond stressed. It was my sitting at my desk, working out new strategies and though I looked stressed, it reminded me of the times I used to have with him. I chuckled quietly to myself and pushed the empty box under my bed. I wonder why Eyebrows decided to give me this stuff? Why had Dok kept it all this time if I went straight into death row?

To waste time, I sat at my desk and started trying to write, scowling when my words came out as nothing more than a chicken scratch. I tried and I tried again, eventually throwing the pencil in anger and storming from the desk, slumping on my bed. Fucking useless. I ended up filling my time by stretching my hand muscles the way Hange had shown me and left my room when I noticed dinner had begun. I wandered down to the mess hall and grabbed that nights rations; bread and two pieces of dried meat. What animal, you ask? Nobody knows, we just eat what we're given.

Today was one of the days where Eren decided to join me and I nodded when he sat down, noting that he didn't exactly look happy. "What's up?"

"Nothing," he muttered, glaring down at the table that hadn't done anything to him.

"Oh come on," I scoffed, jabbing his shoulder which made him look up and shoot daggers my way. Easy now, Yaeger. Despite my calm demeanor of late, don't forget who you're talking to. "You expect me to believe that bullshit. Either tell me what's bothering you or go mope somewhere else." He dropped the glare, huffing dejectedly and rested his head in his head. He really looks bothered by something. This definitely wasn't the determined kid I normally dealt with. "Hey, Yeager. What's bothering you?"

"Do you know why I decided to join the Scouts?" I shook my head and pushed my plate away, lifting my legs onto the opposite chair and getting myself comfy. I think this might be a long one. "I used to live in the Shiganshina District with my father, mother and Mikasa. We were there when Wall Maria fell because of the Colossal Titan. I wasn't home when the attack started and by the time we'd run back to my house, debris had crushed my house and my mom…" He paused, collecting himself and I saw him clenching and un-clenching his fists under the table. It's a sore subject then. "…my mom was trapped in what was left of our house and there were titans everywhere. My mom told me and Mikasa to run, but I couldn't just leave her there. She begged me, yelled until she couldn't yell anymore but I was still standing there; watching her with wide-eyes. Then a member of the Garrison came and took us away."

"She died, didn't she?"

He nodded and wiped a tear that was threatening to fall. Damn kid. Watching your family die, I know what it feels like and that's something you never forget-no matter how hard you try, "A titan with the biggest grin I've ever seen, picked her up, breaking her back like it was nothing then ate her. I couldn't do anything to help her. I was less than useless. I let mom do-"

"-don't you dare say you let her down," I said, shifting in my seat and leaning forward, resting my elbows on my knees. "Don't you ever say you let her down. You were a fucking kid; you still are. There was nothing you could do and us much as you tell yourself you could have done something, the only thing you would have achieved would be dying along side her and then she would have died for nothing. Would that have been better?" He huffed and went to disagree, but I cut him off, shutting that idea down. "No it wouldn't have been. You're alive. You're here now. You're going to avenge her death when you graduate by going beyond the wall as a soldier; by killing every titan you cross paths with and you can do it. If anyone can do that, it's going to be you. Trust in yourself, kid. Trust in your ability. Your mom would be proud, Eren. Take it from someone who knows what it feels like to lose their entire family."

He finally looked at me, curiosity in his eyes, but I shook my head. That's a story for another day and today is not that day. He nodded, the same determination in his eyes I normally saw and he stood, deciding to return to his friends. I think he's feeling better, I thought to myself but damn, giving advice is hard. At least I had experience with his situation. I finished my food and decided to visit the last person I wanted to see. I'd asked Eyebrows, Hange and Eren about what happened while I was outers in the smoke, but nobody knew the full story. The only person who knew what happened was Shorty, and I'm pretty sure that Shorty was ignoring me. I sighed and stood, leaving the room but not before winking at Eren, who was watching me move.

I got to Shorty's office in minutes and knocked on his door, letting myself in when he told me I could. He looked up from his paperwork and rolled his eyes, looking back down and ignored me. Nice to see you too. "What do you want?"

"What happened?"

He made eye contact and raised an eyebrow, his lips turned up in a disgusted expression. I could see him eyeing the chains around my torso and I found myself glaring at him, holding them protectively in my hands. It's none of your business. "Because that's so specific, brat."

"In the fire," I clarified, sitting down on one of his chairs, much to his dismay. Yeah, I'm not leaving until I get answers. "You were there and then I passed out. I don't remember anything after that until I woke up. Nobody has been able to tell me what happened. It was you, wasn't it? You got me out of the fire?"

"You're so fucking perceptive," he snapped sarcastically, sitting back in his chair with his arms folded across his chest. Jesus Christ. I haven't even done anything and he's fucking mad at me. Fucking emotional baby.

I matched his stance and raised an eyebrow. "Why would you willingly risk your life? For me of all people? Aren't you too precious and I thought I wasn't worth shit in your eyes."

"You're not wrong there," he replied, as if that's going to upset me. Like I give a shit what you think, I thought. "But believe it or not, and I hate to admit this but Erwin see's something in you and noticed you weren't anywhere in sight, so I volunteered to search the building. Unfortunately, I dragged your dead ass out of there and Hange got you breathing again."

"Wait, I died?" How had anyone forgotten to mention that detail to me? And why was Shorty willingly admitting he volunteered to help me? Respect for Erwin maybe? Everyone's crazy here. Shorty's definitely got a screw loose or two. My mind kept going back to the fact I died. It hadn't felt like I'd died. Hell, if Shorty hadn't of told me, I probably would have gone the rest of my life not knowing. Maybe dying didn't hurt after all. All those nights I spent wondering if they suffered; it just felt like falling asleep.

Shorty interrupted my thoughts by opening his stupid fucking mouth. "For a wonderful seven minutes," he responded, an evil smirk playing at his lips. "By the fifth minute, I had even started thinking about how my life would go back to normal once you were gone, but you disappointed me again, brat."

I scowled, my nails digging into the skin of my thigh to stop me saying something that would ruin my streak of not being an asshole. What the hell. He's not reigning himself in, so why should I. "Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger," I said, standing and reaching for the door knob. "You wouldn't be able to walk, if it did."

I stormed from his office before he could reprimand me and stomped straight into Eyebrows office, throwing myself into his chair a little too harshly, wincing when I smacked the wooden surface. Smart, Salem. "Thank you for knocking," Eyebrows said sarcastically, a joyous glint in his eye. I'm not in the mood, Eyebrows.

"You better have some good news," I hissed, crossing my arms and legs like a little child. Fucking Shorty and his stupid fucking mouth. Why's he such a dick? What's his fucking problem? How miserable does he have to be, to take to his frustration on anyone he crosses paths with? "Scratch that, I need good news."

Eyebrows lips formed a straight line and I rolled my eyes. "I'm afraid-"

"-you're afraid that during your investigation, you've come up empty handed. That there's no evidence to prove me theory, right?" He nodded kicked the bottom of his desk, earning myself a stern look from him. Cry me a river, Erwin. "Just. Just, fucking great. How can my day get any better?"

"There was no evidence that those Cadets had anything to do with the fire," he confirmed, sending me reeling in my mind. I'm not fucking crazy. Something wasn't right about that night and someone was trying to kill me. "I'm sorry."

I kept my face neutral and nodded. "Well, at least we now all know I'm extremely paranoid. Thank you for returning my belongings and thank you for looking into my theory, but if you'll excuse me, I think I want to go back to my room."

Eyebrows opened his mouth, but decided against it and closed it, nodding firmly. He wished me good night and I disappeared back to my room, the anger radiating from me and making sure everyone I crossed paths with, moved out of my way. I'm not fucking crazy… well, that's debatable, but I know something was awry about that night. I was never locked in and someone had made sure I was trapped in that room. Something wasn't right.

I slammed my door shut, something that I thought to myself that I did a lot and kicked of my boots and clothes, pulling my nightwear on and sat by my desk. I couldn't bring myself to write anything; I just sat there, staring at the dull wood. What am I doing here? I thought I was settling in, that maybe I could actually see myself staying in the Scouts, but I can't do this. I'm not a soldier. I am not Scout material. I want to go home. I need to go home.

I don't know how long I sat there, but I eventually decided that I wanted to go for a walk. I pulled on my old boots and left my room, deciding to let my feet decide where I was going. I walked aimlessly and entered a corridor, one I hadn't been down before. I wonder where this will take me?

"Can't sleep?" I cringed and stopped in my tracks, peeking through my eyes at the figure at the other end of the corridor. Great. Just fucking great.

 **And that's it for this chapter. I wanted to thank everyone who's following and enjoying this story. It's definable a confidence boost, but most of all I'm glad you're enjoying it. And Kawaii-Anya, your reviews still make my day and really push me to keep writing. Also, thank you KitKat2468 for you wonderful review. This story definable isn't abandoned and I'm glad you're enjoying the story.  
**

 **Anywho, tell me what you think about this chapter and I guess I'll see you in the next chapter.**

 **-TheQueenOfTheWarFlowers**


	6. The dreaded night talk

"Can't sleep?"

I cringed and stopped in my tracks, peeking through my squinted eyes at the figure at the other end of the corridor. Great. Just fucking great. Erwin was standing on the other end of the corridor and started walking towards me. He was still dressed in his uniform; does Papa Scout even need to sleep? I wanted to turn and walk in the opposite direction, but something told me I'd end up in his office tomorrow if I did. Do we really have to do this now? I let him reach me and we walked in silence, comfortable not saying anything. "Do you ever sleep?"

He chuckled quietly and shook his head. "These days, sleep is hard to come by," he said, rubbing his eyes wearily. "Especially when there's so much to be done."

Of course. He was always busy with something. Meetings. Planning. Running. He never stopped. It was times like this where I could see myself in him. Back in the Underground, I never stopped. Running a business kept me up at all hours and I never stopped working. The only difference was that I was a criminal and he was trying to lead humanity to freedom. Bit of a difference, I thought. "Why do you do it?" I'd always been curious. Every Commander that took the role, why did they do it? "Why did you decide to become Commander?"

"I have wanted and always will want humanity to rise above titans as the dominant species," he said, looking down at me with his icy blue eyes.

I quirked an eyebrow and stopped to put a hand on my hip. "Simple as that?"

"Simple as that," he said, nodding. I expected something more personal or selfish, not something so noble. He just wanted to help people? It was a shame that everyone who criticized his methods, didn't see it his way. "Why did you decide to build an empire?"

Way to go Eyebrows, throwing a curve ball like the best of them. Out of all the questions I expected him to ask me, it wasn't that one. What the hell though, he's been honest with me up until this point. I suppose I should return the favor. "I wanted to undermine the whole Military Police operation in the Underground," I said, thinking hard so I could best explain myself. "After their execution, I needed something to help me deal with my anger. I figured that if I cut out the middle man, the Military Police, when it came to goods distribution, I could eventually render them useless and bring their whole operation down. It just spiraled from there and became the criminal empire it is now."

Eyebrows didn't say anything, just kept walking. Maybe it wasn't the answer he wanted or expected. Most people thought that I started my business because I wanted power. It was never about power; not until people put me on a pedestal. "I'm sorry about my outburst earlier," I said, looking up at him as we came to a stop in the corridor. "Right before I came to you, I had the pleasure of Shorty's company. He just has a way of pissing me off, but I shouldn't ave taken it out on you."

"It makes sense now," he responded. At least he knew well enough not to comment on mine and Shorty's complicated relationship. I also noticed him eyeing the chains on my chest, a glint in his eye. "Despite the way he acts, he is a good soldier. A good man. He's just as complicated as you, you know?"

I raised an eyebrow and looked at him. "You think I'm complicated?" He nodded and I feigned heart ache. "Man, Erwin. You really know the way to a girls heart. But for real, despite how famous he was in the Underground, I don't know the first thing about him. I don't suppose I made the best first impression, but still."

It was then that I noticed a shadow that wasn't there before. Something moved in the corner of my eye but when I turned to look, there was nothing there; just a dark corner. I knew to trust my instincts though. Someone was listening and I had a very good idea of who it could be. How could I possibly know, you ask? Nobody tip toed around the Commander. Nobody. Unless a topic of conversation sparked their interest. Slick, Shorty. Real slick.

"He'll warm up to you… eventually," he said, but even he didn't look convinced. The day that me and Corporal Asshat get along, will be the day I dedicate my life to the Scouts and that's never going to happen. "Well, we can dream."

I heard him chuckle to myself and I wrapped my arms around myself. How had I gotten to a point where I could casually walk with the Commander of the fucking Scouts, talking about humanities most worshiped soldier, while I was nothing more than a criminal? And I thought life in the Underground was weird. "Uh, Sir," I said, poking his arm and making him look at me. "I've never properly thanked you, for what you did and have done for me-

"-there's no need to thank me, Salem," he said, cutting me off with a small smile on his face. I shook my head and carried on.

"There are too many reasons to count as to why I should be thanking you. You've fought for me, now and for my family when no one else was willing. I know what you did, Sebastian told me."  
"What I did?" He cocked an eyebrow, curiosity in his eyes and I nodded. Here goes nothing, because the shadow in the corner is going to learn a thing or too.

"Sebastian told me that he'd been in contact with you. That when they were lined up to be hanged, you were appealing to have the laws changed around crimes and punishments. You were fighting for them and I'll always be grateful for that and I'll always be in debt to you."

He reached out cautiously and placed a hand on shoulder, looking to me for assurance and I nodded and he patted my shoulder gently. "I only wish I could have done more."

"You did enough," I replied, giving him a small smile. He dropped his arm but kept his gaze on me. I always felt like he was analyzing me. "Thank you, by the way, for returning my stuff. You didn't have to, but I'm glad you did. You gave them back to me."

He shuffled on the spot and I grinned openly. This was the first time I'd ever seen him acting awkward about something. Was the great Commander trying to hide his embarrassment? "You know, this is the first time I think I've ever seen you act awkward about something. The great Commander, too humble for his own good."

He chuckled quietly. "Yes, your Commander. Don't forget that, Salem. Now if you'll excuse me, I have papers to file and eventual sleep to catch up on and I suggest you do the same. Goodnight, Salem."

I nodded and watched him walk away, rounding on the person hiding in the darkness. I raised an eyebrow, crossing my arms over my chest and cocked a hip. "Any other person and I guarantee they wouldn't have seen you," I said, flicking my head to tell him to come out. "I, on the other hand, am not blind nor stupid, Shorty. If you're going to ease-drop on my conversations, you better do a better job of hiding next time. Oh and repeat anything I said tonight, and I'll skin you while you sleep."

I winked and left him there, his face passive but I could see the shock in his eyes. Yeah, you're not a sly as you think you are. I walked back to my room and tucked myself into bed, laying on my back while staring at the ceiling. I still can't sleep. I just have more to think about. I don't remember falling asleep, but then again who does?

 _"Hold her down," someone yelled, ignoring my terrified screams. Why were they doing this? Where's my mama? The men surrounded me, staring down at me with excited eyes. What are they doing? Why did they take me from my home?_

 _"Mama," I yelled over and over again, but she never came. Where was my mama? She never left me alone like this. Did they hurt her? One of the men bent down by my side, brandishing a needle filled with a clear liquid. What were they doing to me?_

 _"You're going to be magnificent," he whispered leaning in close to my ear. Magnificent? What was he talking about? "Just wait. We'll be unstoppable."_

 _The man pressed the needle into the skin of my neck, ignoring my agony-filled screams and depressed the liquid into my body. I was on fire. Everything burned and my vision went blurry. Mama? I need you mama. My screams were ignored and through my blurred vision, I saw the men crowding around me, staring down at me with glee-filled eyes. What were thy doing to me? Why are they hurting me? I let out an ear-piercing scream from the depths of my throat and thrashed against my restraints. Someone help me. Someone, please help-_

I shot up, pushing myself into the corner of my bed and pulled my knees to my chest. I couldn't breathe. It felt so real. It felt too real. What the hell just happened? My head slumped against my knees while I tried my best to control my ragged breathing. I'm losing my mind. Once I had my breathing under control, I wiped the sweat from my forehead and lent into the wall like a deflated balloon. I was having these dreams more frequently, but I still didn't know what they meant. Why am I dreaming of a little girl? What does it all mean? Jesus, Salem. You're actually going crazy.

The morning light streamed through my window, casting a soft glow on my bed and I forced myself out of bed and down to the showers. Once I was clean and changed, I skipped out on breakfast and went straight to my first training session. We were back to hand to hand combat, but unlike my first training session, the other cadets had improved greatly. While most people had a sparring partner, Shadis preferred to move me around, having me fight different people every time. He said something about it helping me practice with different fighting styles. I think I would have gotten bored if I fought the same person day after day and having me fight other people kept them on their toes. Today I was sparring with a boy called Jean. I'd picked up everyone's names as training went on and I'd fought Jean before. He was tall and horse-looking, but he had a good heart. Despite his occasional arrogant demeanor, he'd actually tried to befriend me and though I shut him down every time, he still kept up a cheery attitude with me. People here are forgetting who I am. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

We got into position and when Shadis told us to begin, we both moved into action. I threw the first punch, grazing his torso and I dodged his own punch, which was close to my head. A con of being four feet nothing. He grunted when I hit him and I ducked under his arm, kicking him in the back so he went sprawling towards the ground. I'd won the fight… or so I thought. Instead of staying down, he rolled back onto his feet and staying low, he slammed me to the ground by my waist, pinning me down with his knees. He aimed a punch at my face and swung down, stopping just short with a grin on his face. "I win."

Look, my fighting skills were beyond these Cadets and had been since I got here, but when I fought, I fought to kill and letting the cadets get a few wins in every so often seemed more productive than beating them every time. Plus, I couldn't risk getting in to trouble now that Dok was keeping a close eye on me.

"That you did," I said, returning his grin with a smile and once he'd stood up, he extended his hand and hoisted me to my feet. "Next time we spar though, maybe I won't go so easy on you."

I left Jean with a shocked expression on his face, asking if I'd let him win but I just turned and winked, leaving him to go sit down away from the other cadets. It was still hard to believe that I'd been here almost ten months and I hadn't tried to escape yet. Not one attempt. I'd also gotten my first response from Sebastian. In all honesty, I hadn't expected him to write back given that any form of communication with the Scouts would only end up putting us at risk, but he still wrote back. Considering he'd always told me how much he hated writing, he'd written pages upon pages telling me that he loved me and missed me so much. I would never admit it, but reading something Sebastian had written, now knowing that he knew I was still alive had brought me close to tears. I handed Erwin a new letter every three weeks or so and always got a response back as quickly as he could write.

Sitting there, I couldn't help my mind wandering back to the dream I'd had. Could I even call it a dream? It was more like a confusing nightmare. It had been bugging me all morning and I was wracking my brain, trying to figure out what I was trying to tell myself. I'd never thought about it much before, considering this wasn't the first time I'd had that dream but I was no closer to making sense of it.

And Shorty listening in on mine and Erwin's conversation last night. He knew more than most knew about me now and I didn't like it. Anyone else and I probably wouldn't have cared so much, but Shorty had ammo now in a vicious verbal battle. Why was he even listening? What did he care about where I came from? Shorty just fucked with my head. He either hated me or didn't care about my existence.

After the cadets training finished and I started sparring with Eren, he picked up on my frustrated mood immediately. Sometimes he can be perceptive.

"What's wrong?"

I looked up from tying the lace of my boot and raised an eyebrow. "Wrong?"

He was staring down at me with concern in his eyes. What? "You look like you want to murder someone," he commented, flicking his head. When don't I look like that, Yeager? "Did someone say something? Or was it your hand? Does it hurt?"

"First of all," I said, masking my frustration with a forced smile. I stood and patted him on his shoulder. "Cool it with the questions. I'm fine. No. No. And yes, but it's manageable. I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night." He opened his mouth, but I cut him off. "I'm fine, Yeager."

He nodded and we started our session, noting to myself that Eren was getting good at fighting; almost as good as me. The only problem was that he fought like me, which made us both predictable to each other. I'm going to have to find someone on my level to fight Eren, so he gets more experience. Maybe if I asked Shadis or Eyebrows to find him someone else to help him train. I could tell he was holding back, watching me carefully so in a moment of anger, I flipped him to the ground, harder than I'd normally throw him and watched him wince in pain. Oh fuck. "Sorry," I murmured, offering him a hand and pulling him to his feet. "Guess I'm in a worse mood than I thought. Let's call it a day today, kid. You did good. I'm just an old fuck, apparently who can't control her emotions." I didn't wait for a response, just walked away. If I had looked back, I would have seen the concerned look on his face. Fuck man. That dream has spun me out. Poor kid was just trying to help and I threw him to the ground and walked off. No time like the present to be a colossal dick.

On my walk back to my room I saw the Cadet who's arm I'd broken, Samuel I'd learned his name was and the moment he laid eyes on me, he glared and started stomping. Little fucking child. No matter what Erwin said, I knew that something wasn't right and my gut was telling me that the shit stain in front of me had something to do with it. "Scum."

Had I not been listening, I probably wouldn't have heard him but he set me off the moment he opened his stupid fucking mouth. I was behind him in seconds, slamming his head into the wall next to him. "If you have a problem with me," I hissed, standing on my toes to get closer to his ear. "Take it up with the Commander, but I swear to god. If I hear one more word out of you, I'm going to carve you up into little pieces and serve you to your lapdogs."

I shoved him away and left the corridor, almost proud of myself that I didn't beat him into the ground. I could have, but I didn't. Behavioral improvement as Shorty said. And yet if he found out, he'd still find a way to spin it into a bad thing. I thought about going back to my room or hiding on the roof but I had chores to finish before the end of the day. I didn't want another lecture from Shorty or Shadis, both had been on my case for slacking on the cleaning. I'll finish my chores as quickly as I can and hide in my room for the rest of the evening, catching up on some much needed sleep.

 **Hey everyone! You might be wondering why this chapter is unusually short but don't worry, I'm not short changing you. I was having trouble writing this chapter and I was struggling to get words onto metaphorical paper. As a result, I decided to split this chapter into two so you'd still have a semi-regular upload while I finish the end of the chapter and post that too. You'll probably get another upload sometime at the beginning of next week, but until then, I hope you enjoyed the latest half chapter. Let me know what you think in the reviews and I'll see you next time.**

 **-QueenOfTheWarFlowers**


	7. Horses are better than people

My first chore was cleaning the Northern stables and after rolling my sleeves up and pushing my hair out of my face, I got to work; pulling the horses from their stalls and cleaning them one by one. When chores were up for picking, I tended to pick cleaning the stables. Nobody really wanted to get dirty, but I didn't mind. I enjoyed bonding with the horses. Each time I pulled a horse from the stall, I made sure they were given some attention and care because they were just as important as any Scout or cadet. They were beautiful creatures. They really were.

The horse I'd pulled out of its stall and tied up was none other than Captain Shorty's himself. I'd learnt that from Eren the last time he'd joined me during chores. He was tall, taller than most of the horses here and intimidating to look at. Scratch just behind the ears though and he melted into my hands. He was in need of attention, much like the other horses. I wondered how Shorty got paired with such a magnificent beast. I also wondered how he got onto the horse. Even I would have struggled. Oh, what an interesting unanswered question.

I cleaned out his stall, replacing the straw and his hay and once I was satisfied with my work, I lead his horse back into its stall. "How you get along with Shorty is beyond me," I muttered, stroking his nose tenderly. "Maybe you can teach me."

Something that also played on my mind was the fact that neither Shobha or Merche had to follow me around anymore. Erwin had pulled me into his office not long after I got out of the medical wing and he'd told me that until further notice, I was no longer considered a flight risk and that meant I no longer had to have personal guards. It only took me nine months, I commented with a small grin on my face. I won't lie and say that I don't miss the company. I actually grew to like Shobha a lot, once we got past our issues of course.

Lost in my thoughts, I didn't hear the tall figure approaching me until I was tapped on the shoulder and spun around, ready to smack whoever it was with my pitchfork. "It's only me," he yelled, hands in the air while he eyed the pitchfork carefully. "It's just me."

Eren? "Whoops," I chuckled nervously, leaning the tool against the wall and smiling sheepishly at him. "Sorry. You caught me off guard."

"No problem," he replied, grinning because he knew what I got like when I was engrossed in my own thoughts. "I saw you from the courtyard. I just thought I'd come and check on you, see how you've been doing since the fire."

"I'm doing okay," I said, continuing with my chores while I spoke to him. "My ankle doesn't really hurt anymore and both of my hands are healing as best as they can, given the situation and circumstances. I mean my left hand is fucked. Even with Hange's exercises, it's still tight and pretty useless, but I can't complain. I'm alive. My voice… well you can assess my voice for yourself." My voice was still hoarse and gritty, but the more I spoke, the stronger my voice got and I was back to my sarcastic insulting self. "So overall, I can't complain and not that I don't enjoy our conversations, but shouldn't you be finishing your own chores? It's getting pretty late and we've got gear to clean in an hour."  
"I'm late," he yelled and ran off in the direction of the training room. He must be cleaning the training gear then. "I'll see you later, Salem."

I chuckled and watched him disappear. That kid is special, I thought to myself. He somehow managed to always find hiself late, even though he was the most eager out of us all. I went about my business, finishing every stall and once I was satisfied that every horse and stall was in top condition, I told myself I should probably get cleaned up before going to the gear cleaning room. Shadis and Shorty can't say shit now about my cleaning.

I walked to my room and got washed up, making sure I was spotless before heading back down towards the gear cleaning room. Every week, all of the Cadets would sit in a room and clean their gear, making any adjustments they needed to make sure the gear worked best for them. I was given new gear by Shadis after mine was smashed to smithereens in the fire and had been making sure I took care of it well. I joined the other Scouts and sat next to Eren, who was already busy cleaning his gear. We both wore mirrored grins when we laid eyes on each other, but opted out of saying anything. I started with the straps, going over the leather to make sure there weren't any tears or damage. Damn, I really do forget sometimes how much equipment is involved in 3DMG gear. I examined the harness carefully and once I was satisfied, I laid it out in front of me and moved on to the gas mechanism. I started cleaning the metal and made sure the gas cylinders were full. In the background, I heard Armin and Jean talking about home, telling each other about where they came from. I listened in silence but found myself thinking to my own home. I hadn't heard from Sebastian in a while and I could only think the worse; that they had to relocate because their location was compromised. It wasn't uncommon for the business to relocate. Sometimes it was just necessary to move for safety reasons., but to think that it was my fault. I hope to god he's safe.

"What was your home like, Salem?"

What? I blinked at Armin, who was staring at me expectantly. Bold, Artlet. Very bold, but that's a stupid question. "I thought you all knew where I came from?"

They were all listening. Did they all really not know, or were they prying into things that didn't concern them? "We know where you came from," Jean piped up. There we go then, I thought. "But what about your home?"

"You want to know about my home?"

They all nodded, including Yaeger and I raised an eyebrow in his direction. He only shrugged with a small grin on his face. I wonder how long he's been sitting on this question? "Well if you're all interested," I said, putting the blade box down and facing them. Damn, they were all listening. I suppose it can't hurt to tell them. "I used to live with six people in a little house in the Underground. It was quaint. There was only one bedroom, so we all slept on the floor together. They weren't my biological parents, but they may as well have been. It was nice."

I mean it may not have been what they were looking for, but it was enough for today. Well, that's what I thought. "What about the chains?" Eren asked, looking like he regretted asking the question and I raised an eyebrow. Nosy little shit. "Ever since the fire, you've been wearing them. You don't take them off. You're always playing with them."

I bet nothing slips past him, I thought sarcastically. I couldn't fault him though. He was right and he was curious. Hell, they all were, but Eren was the only one who had the balls to ask. "They're special," I said, pulling them from my chest and placed them in front of him. Eren fingered them lightly, picking them up and examining them. They may not be interesting to you, but they're important to me. Armin had moved closer, watching our interaction with interest. "They're the only things I have left of my family."

Eren's eyebrows scrunched in confusion. Here goes then. Buckle up kiddos, because it's a long story. The others had stopped what they were doing and were listening intently and once they were all comfortable, I started my tale. "My parents died when I was young and I spent a lot of my childhood on the streets. Being homeless in the Underground is a pretty common occurrence, but it was rough. I went so many days without food or water. Things like that aren't common down there. It's kill or be killed. I came close to death so many times; dehydration, starvation and fights. I got into a lot of fights as a kid, though I don't suppose that's much of a surprise to anyone. That was, until I was taken in by a group operating in the Underground."

I stopped briefly, observing each of them to gauge their reactions. Eren had a look of disgust on his face, Mikasa was frowning and Armin looked down right sad. They're young, I thought. They haven't learned about the hardships the residents of the Underground faced every single day.

"They took me in. Fed and watered me. Cleaned me and gave me new clothes. Such kindness was unheard of. They helped me, even after four years on the street had turned me into and distrusting skeptic. It took me a while to trust them and open up to them, but they were patient with me. When I was twelve, they started teaching me how to defend myself, survive and to steal. It's a dog eat dog world down there and I needed to learn. Hell, I wanted to learn. Children wielding weapons isn't uncommon and when I came to build my business, I made sure the children knew how to use their weapons. It was better to have them know what to do than run around like headless chickens. They taught me how to fight and kill-"

"-to kill?" Armin said, uncertainty in his voice. Poor thing, he looks terrified.

"Yes, to kill," I replied, watching him carefully. "Now stop interrupting. We were unstoppable. We stole from the rich and gave to the poor when we had enough. The military police didn't like that. They couldn't enforce their bullshit rules if they weren't the distributors. For once in my life, things were looking up and I was happy. And then it all went to shit. On the night of my fourteenth birthday, I had been left alone while the others went out and I was waiting for them to come home, except they didn't. When they didn't come home I started to get worried, but then Sebastian came home in a complete panic, telling me we needed to pack the essentials and go."  
"Who's Sebastian?"

I looked at Jean who'd asked the question and sighed quietly. "Sebastian is my older brother. No relation, but I love him as if he was. We packed what we could carry on our backs and left our home. I still didn't know why we had to go but I trusted him enough that he would only do this if something bad had happened. When we were safe and in hiding, he final explained the situation. They wanted to get me something for my birthday and they'd heard word of a cart of valuable items moving through the Underground. They didn't know it was a trap. Sebastian was the lookout so he managed to get away, but the others weren't so lucky."

"They died, didn't they?"

I chuckled bitterly at Eren, who'd repeated the same thing I'd asked him when we spoke that one dinner time. "Was it that obvious? There was a public execution. The Military Police made sure of that. Executions were a form of entertainment. Sebastian and I were in the crowd, but we couldn't do anything. We couldn't risk being caught. I watched as they were lead up to the podium and the chains were wrapped around their throats. They were hung until they died and those are the chains that did it. It's a reminder of what happened. What I did. If they hadn't of gone out that night for me, maybe they'd still be here. The heat was still on Sebastian, so he had to leave me and I was left alone again. He was only doing it to protect me, but still. And that's when I started building my empire. I decided that no one else would lose their family the way I did, but I think that's enough sad talk for now, don't you think?"

The room was silent and they all looked solemn. Well if I knew they were going to react like this, then I wouldn't have told them. It did, however, feel good to get it off my chest. Talking about them, in some ways made it worse. It just reminded me of what had happened. What I'd lost. Armin went to open his mouth, but he was interrupted by Shorty, who'd marched into the room, oblivious of the conversation that had just occurred. Well, that's what I thought. "If you're done with your sob story," he said disinterestedly, though I didn't miss the hesitation in his words and on his face. What's that about, Shorty? "You've got gear to clean and training to attend. Salem. Commander Smith wishes to see you in his office. Follow me."

I glanced at Eren, who returned a look of confusion but I just shrugged; I hadn't done anything. I followed Shorty to the door but Armin called out, making me turn back to look at him. "What were their names?"

I smiled sadly. "Alec, Lilah, Mave, Micah and Adrian."

 **Hey everyone! So here's chapter 6b. I thought it was going to take me longer to write, but I did some editing and moving and decided that I was happy with ending it here. I know it was a bit of a filler chapter, but I definatley think there were some important points. So we finally know who Sebastian is, [*wink* Kawaii-Anya *wink*] and why Salem decided to build her empire. And how about Levi's reaction, ay? Maybe he isn't as cold as Salem thinks he is. And what does Erwin want? I've got some writing to do! Well anywho, I hope you're enjoying the story so far and I'll see you in the near future with a new chapter.**

 **-QueenOfTheWarFlowers**


	8. History had been made today

Eren raised an eyebrow, but I just shrugged. I hadn't done anything lately. Nothing bad that is. I stood and joined Shorty in the corridor, following him silently as we made our way to his office. Now I'm curious. I really haven't done anything bad. So why is Shorty bothering me? Better yet, why had Erwin sent Shorty to get me? Surely, he would have sent one of his lesser important soldiers? Something's not right. "What's this about?"

Silence. Right. No questions. He doesn't like me. "Levi?" Again, silence. Man, he's really sticking with this authority thing. "Sir?"

"What, brat?"

Well at least he's acknowledging my existence. "Can I ask you something?"

"You just did," he responded with a voice filled with annoyance. Oh, he's one of those is he? "But if you must. Go ahead."

"Why do you hate me so much?" He didn't react to the question. He just kept walking, but I wasn't having this. He's pushing me over the fucking edge. If he was going to act like a dick towards me the entire time I was here, then I wanted a good fucking reason for it. "Get off your high fucking horse, _Sir_. I don't give a flying fuck if you're humanities strongest soldier and Erwin's right hand man. If you're going to shit on me every time you see me, then I want to fucking know why. I am not your punching bag. I'm not going to-"

He turned faster than I could react and shoved me against the wall, the anger in his eyes visible from space. Shit. I tried to shake his grip, but he only pressed me harder into the wall. "-listen here, brat", he hissed, "and listen good. I don't give a fuck if you're mad about the way I treat you. You're a cadet and I'm your superior. I don't care if you don't like the way I treat you, get used to it. And I don't like you because you're a street rat who got too big for her boots when she built a mediocre criminal operation-"

"-you're going to judge me for my time in the Underground? You were the King of Thieves. Don't think I don't know or don't remember what you used to do. You were just as bad at me, so don't you dare have a go at me for surviving. You were a criminal. I'm sure the Military Police still thinks you're a criminal. Did you make your parents proud, Levi? Does your mother still-"

I didn't expect him to throw a punch, much less at the wall just behind me instead of my face. I flinched and closed by eyes but didn't move. I wasn't afraid of him. I couldn't see him, but I could hear is fast and heavy breathing. He was angry. Scratch that, he was fucking livid. I've never seen him this angry in all of the time I'd been here. "Talk to me like that again," he hissed, leaning down so he could say it into my ear. "And I will kill you. Understand?"

I didn't get to respond, he just stormed off. What the fuck just happened? I watched him disappear down the corridor and I pushed my hair from my face. I let out the breath I'd been holding and finally noticed that the blood was rushing in my ears and I was panting quietly. I don't think I've ever seen him that angry and for what? I was even more confused now. Well there goes getting along, I thought to myself. I chuckled almost nervously and forced myself to keep going to Erwin's office. One foot in front of the other and you'll be there in no time, I told myself.

When I got there, I knocked on the door and let myself in, putting on my best poker face so he wouldn't know what had just happened. What I didn't expect was for Shorty to be already sitting in front of Erwin's desk. What's he doing here? His poker face was admirable. It almost looked like he hadn't almost taken my head off and threatened to kill me. I'll add him to the list of potential murderers. "Ah," Erwin said, smiling when I entered. "You're here. Is something wrong?"

I shot a glance at Shorty, who still wouldn't make eye contact with me, but shook my head. Whatever had just happened, seemed best if it just stayed between us for now. I wasn't done with him though. I wanted to know what the hell that was about. Shorty shot me a glance wen I failed to mention what just happened and I shrugged, taking a seat next to him. What's the point of telling Erwin? It wouldn't get us anywhere and I was tired of fighting with him.

"What's going on?" I questioned, crossing one of my legs over the other and resting my hands on my knee. Now that I got a good look at Erwin, I could see something in his eyes. The eyes always gave it away. Something happened and he didn't want to tell me. "Sir?"

"Today's discussion stays in this room only," he said, reaching into his desk and pulling out a folder. Folders aren't a good thing. Folders are never a good thing. "Do you understand?"

Shorty and I nodded and I noted how we both looked just as confused as each other. For once, the golden boy doesn't know what's going on and I don't think that's a good thing.

"We've got a suspected problem in the Underground," he elaborated, pushing the folder in our direction, though Shorty swiped it up before I could grab it. well alright. What did he mean, _"problem in the Underground?"_ That could be a number of things. "There's been a spike in robberies and murders in the city and Commander Dok believes it has something to do with your business, Salem."

They think we're doing this? I mean I guess it's totally possible, but after tugging the file from Shorty's grip and looking at the photos of the crime scenes, I just knew it wasn't one of ours. It was too sloppy and we didn't kill people if the robberies went wrong. It did, however spark a semblance of recognition. I have an idea on who could have done this but starting a turf war was not on my to do list today. "It's not us," I clarified, pushing the file back towards Erwin. "I taught Sebastian everything I know about moving things through the Underground, and this isn't it. I do, however, have an idea of who could have done this, but if I give you names, you can't do anything about it. Do you understand?"

Shorty scoffed and I shot him a glare. He didn't understand what he'd be getting everyone into. "If you know who did this, brat, then you need to tell us so we can put a stop to it."  
"You don't understand," I sighed, picking at the skin around my fingernails. "Try and arrest them and you'll start a turf war that even the MP's and Scouts won't be able to end. You'd start a slaughter between my business and our rivals and the casualties would be endless. Is that really what you want, Sir?"

I looked to Erwin, who was staring at me deep in thought and hoped that he'd understand what I was saying. Trying to take them down, would only end in death and a never ending war. "If I tell you, you have to promise me that you won't start a turf war." Erwin took a second, most likely thinking about what the best call was and he nodded. You better keep your word, I thought. "When my business was established, I picked up rivals who were also trying to move things through the Underground for money. Most of them I ended up accepting into my own business; keep your enemies close, I used to say, but there was one organization I couldn't shake nor sway to join my side. It's run by a man called Rudolfo Cain. Both he and his men have had a rivalry with my business since the day we overtook him as the service to use if you wanted something shifted through the Underground. I've seen his work and if people are being killed during robberies, it's him." I failed to mention that everyone in the Underground knew the MP's had a side business with Cain. I don't think a suggestion like that will help in this situation. I wasn't surprised though that Dok immediately put the blame on my business.

"Do you know where to find him?" Erwin questioned, his eyes shifting between me and Shorty. He's concocting a plan. I can see it in his eyes. Careful, Erwin. You'll start something you can't finish.

I shrugged. "I know which area he operates in. Though trying to get close won't work. They'll spot you and your men straight away. It's a death sentence."

"Well, that's why I called you both in here," Erwin continued, leaning back in his chair. He wasn't looking at me. No, he was looking at Shorty, who I noticed was clenching the arm of the chair rather tightly. "I'm sending you both down on an incognito recon mission, to gather proof of Cain's involvement in these murders."

I'm going back to the Underground? Did Erwin trust me to go back and not run away? Shorty nodded and stood, albeit rather angrily, reaching for the door. "When do we leave?"

"This evening," Erwin replied and after Shorty nodded, he disappeared, to prepare I assumed. Now it was just me and Erwin. "Is everything okay, Salem?"

"Do you really trust me to go back to the Underground?" I questioned, staring down at my lap. I didn't want to look at him. God, if Sebastian saw me cowering here, he'd be ashamed.

"I do," he said, a sincerity in his voice which made me look at him. He was watching me, a small smile on his face which was uncharacteristic for the normally stony-faced Commander and in that moment, I knew I had his trust. "And if you get down there conflicted, just know that I have faith that you'll make the right decision."

Damn, Erwin. That's a lot of faith. A hell of a lot of faith. I nodded and left his office; slightly confused, slightly excited and definitely nervous. It's been almost three years since I've seen the Underground. I miss home.

I went straight back to my room and changed into some civilian clothes; a white shirt, black trousers and boots and a thick black cloak which would aid us in hiding our identities. Once I was changed, I had time to sit back and really take in the situation. I was going back to the Underground, with the person I disliked the most on this compound and we were going into enemy territory incognito. What could possibly go wrong?

There were two horses waiting for us by the gate and once we were both mounted and our stuff was securely tied to the saddles, we set off into the night, riding hard towards the gates of the Underground. Shorty hadn't said anything to me when he joined me by the horses, not that I expected him to because he was still pissed at our meeting earlier.

We rode for hours, well into the night, deciding to set up camp in an old abandoned house when the horses started to slow. They needed to rest just as much as we did. The moment Shorty's feet touched the ground, he stalked off, muttering something about getting something to make a fire and he was gone. I sighed and rubbed the nose of my own horse. "Do you think we'll ever get along?" He nickered loudly and I chuckled bitterly. "That's an obvious sign."

I tied the horses up and ended up sitting inside with my back against one of the plain walls, waiting for Shorty to come back. He was gone for maybe twenty minutes and when he finally returned, he dropped the logs he was holding in his hands and got to work lighting the fire in the fire place. It was incredibly awkward. I was torn between sitting in silence and opening my mouth. What's the worst that can happen? Haha, famous last words. "What was earlier about?"

He rubbed his eyes wearily and gave me a look. "You just don't stop, do you, brat?"

I shrugged and shuffled closer to the fire, pulling the cloak tight around my shoulders. "I'm just tired of this back and forth. You hate me, I get it, but do you really have to rag on me every time you see me?"

He didn't say anything, just went back to poking the fire with a stick. Of course. I shook my head wearily and laid back on the wooden floor, using my bag as a pillow. Staring up at the window and starry night sky outside, I was reminded of what I missed out on as a kid. The sky was beautiful and I honestly never thought I was going to see it. I was hoping it would be under different circumstances, but here I was. I finally got out of that shit hole to see the stars. A wave of nostalgia hit when I remembered what Alec used to tell me when I got anxiety as a kid.

' _Hush, Salem… One day we'll see the stars'._

He was right. I only wish he could have been here with me to see it. I shifted on the uncomfortable ground and spotted Shorty staring at me. Problem? When he saw that I'd caught him, he went back to staring at the fire with his normal unreadable expression. God, Shorty. You're weird ass fuck. I closed my eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep. I'm going home.

 _"Hold her down," someone yelled, ignoring my terrified screams. Why were they doing this? Where's my mama? The men surrounded me, staring down at me with excited eyes. What are they doing? Why did they take me from my home?_

 _"Mama," I yelled over and over again, but she never came. Where was my mama? She never left me alone like this. Did they hurt her? One of the men bent down by my side, brandishing a needle filled with a clear liquid. What were they doing to me?_

 _"You're going to be magnificent," he whispered leaning in close to my ear. Magnificent? What was he talking about? "Just wait. We'll be unstoppable."_

 _The man pressed the needle into the skin of my neck, ignoring my agony-filled screams and depressed the liquid into my body. I was on fire. Everything burned and my vision went blurry. Mama? I need you mama. My screams were ignored and through my blurred vision, I saw the men crowding around me, staring down at me with glee-filled eyes. What were they doing to me? Why are they hurting me? I let out an ear-piercing scream from the depths of my throat and thrashed against my restraints. Someone help me. Someone, please help me._

 _The hours went by in a blur. Everything was distorted and my vision swam. The men kept coming in and out, saying something I didn't understand and then they'd leave me on my own again. Where's my mama? My whole body hurt and I yanked against the restraints to give myself some semblance of relief. I want it to stop. I want it to end. The man who injected me earlier came back, leaning in close to my ear but he only said one word. "Salem. Salem. Salem. Sal-"_

I pushed myself up, scrambling away from Levi who was kneeling by my side, saying my name. Why is he so close? What the hell just happened? The moment I opened my eyes, Shorty backed away, moving back to his spot by the fire. "You were thrashing in your sleep," he muttered, laying back down with his arms under his head. "I'd rather you not wake me up, brat."

"Wouldn't dream of it," I said, the frustration clear in my voice and then rolled over, facing away from him so he didn't see my shaking hands. This dream freaks me out, the more I have it. I still don't understand what's happening and why I'm dreaming it, but either way it never ceases to shake me up.

Despite the dream, I still managed to get a few good hours of sleep in and I was woken by Shorty throwing a stick at me. A fucking stick. I flipped him off and got to my feet. "Let me guess," I spat, putting my white hair up in a bun. "It's time to go?"

I brushed myself down and left the house, climbing onto my horse while pulling out some dried meat from one of my bags. We pressed on, riding until mid-day when we approached the infamous Underground gates. When we reached them, I shook my head and forced Shorty away. "Not this one," I said, leading him to one of the abandoned passages. I was pretty sure only Sebastian and I knew about this passage and it wasn't likely that anyone would be in there. I slid from my horse and let him roam, deciding that it would look too suspicious if they were tied neatly by the concealed entrance and motioned for Shorty to follow me.

The main entrance to the Underground was just a guarded hole in the ground, though they guarded it from the inside instead. Sebastian should have the main entrance covered, so taking the side entrance would work best for us. It was a crack in the wall that didn't look big enough to fit through but get close and you'd realize that it went deep into the ground. I checked that we were alone and when I was happy, I pointed at the crack and told him to follow me. I didn't expect him to flick my hood up onto my head and I raised an eyebrow, but he just told me to keep moving. Weird fuck.

I lead him through the jagged rocks, moving deeper and deeper into the hole until we reached the familiar rock both Sebastian and I had marked when we realized we could move through the passage. I stopped, eyeing the double S symbol we'd carved into the rock but told myself to keep moving. It's best not to dwell on the past. That alone, makes me the biggest hypocrite.

Here goes nothing, I thought. You're home. You're finally home. "He operates in the northern corner of the city," I explained quietly, Shorty walking directly on my left as we walked through the busy streets. They looked just as rough as I remembered. The people here looked like skin and bones and they all smelled like death. "It's not far from here. We can't get too close though because his men are stationed everywhere."

He nodded and we moved through the streets, ignoring the sickly calls of the prostitutes and the angry glares of the thugs that lined the road. It's good to be home. If my business was where I left it, we were stationed in the opposite direction at the southern point of the city. We needed access to the entire city and the southern border was best. It also meant that running into Sebastian would be extremely unlikely. If he strayed this far north, he was looking for a fight.

"Those are his men," I whispered, nodding to some of the nastier looking men who were glaring menacingly at anyone who looked at them. I could recognize them a mile away. "They get worse the closer we get."

While we moved through the streets, I noticed how Shorty's demeanor had changed. He walked with more aggression, staying close to my side almost protectively-which felt very weird since just hours before, we were fighting with each other. Even I had returned to my old ways, swaggering slightly as I walked with my head held high. It was probably the last thing I should be doing, but old habits die hard. I wonder what it's like for him. It's been so long since he's been down here. Does he miss it? News was fuzzy about how the King of Thieves was taken above ground. Some said it was willingly. Others said he was dragged out by the Commander himself. Even I didn't know and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious. "Over here," I motioned, pulling him by his arm into an alley-way. I checked we were alone and pulled me hood down, Shorty following suit. "I think I know someone who can give us information on Cain."

"Then why aren't we walking?" Shorty countered, going to pull his hood up again.

I shook my head. "You're not going to like it."

"And why's that?"

"You can't come with me," I said, expecting the scoff that escaped his lips.

"Like hell am I leaving you alone down here, brat," he hissed, acting as if I'd just called him an idiot. "Do you think I'm that stupid?"  
"I'm not going to run," I said, taking on my own defensive tone when he assumed I would leave the first moment I got. "You just can't come with me otherwise they'll see us coming from a mile away."

Shorty stayed silent, clearly deciding if he trusted me enough to follow my lead.

"Erwin trusted me enough to send me down here," I said, almost pleading with him. C'mon Shorty. We don't have time for this shit. I'm not going to run, I just need you to trust me. "I'm not going to run. Trust me, Sir. Trust Erwin."

He groaned angrily and nodded. "You have an hour," he replied, pulling his hood over his head. "If you're not back at the entrance by then, I'll hunt you down myself and drag you back to Erwin. Got it, brat?"  
I nodded and then he was gone; where I don't know, but my focus was on information. I pulled my hood up and left they alley, walking towards the one place where I knew I'd get information. Madame Cotreu's brothel. It was a favorite haunt of Cain's men and I had insiders who used to feed me information when I needed it. I just hope she's still alive. When I saw the familiar door, I pushed my way in and walked straight to the bar, where a young girl was standing. Too fucking young. "Is Kori working tonight?"

She nodded and pointed to a back room. I thanked her and made my way back, letting myself in before locking the door behind me.

"What can I do you for?" A feminine voice called out seductively. I turned and pulled the hood down, revealing my face and my gaze fell upon Kori, who was lying on the bed. The moment she realized it was me, she was on her feet and holding me in her arms.

"I missed you too," I said, patting her back. When she let me go, she cupped my face to get a good look at me and I got a good look at her. She looked older and wearier, though it was unsurprising considering her line of work. Women like her were used and abused and thrown away when they were no longer wanted. She was also thinner, too thin and I couldn't help but find myself angry at how the Madame was treating her girls. "When was the last time you ate?"

She chuckled bitterly and sat on the bed, pointing at the space next to her. "Too long," she replied, smiling gently. "But I think the more important question is how are you back from the grave?"

"I never died. Just rotted in a cell for two years until the Commander of the Scouts personally requested me to join the Cadet Corps."

"You're fucking with me," she said, laughing out loud. "What the hell are you doing back here then?"

"Oh, you know," I said, laying back on the bed. "Sightseeing."

She smacked my arm and I held out my hands in a sign of peace. "All right. You didn't see me today. I'm here on official business for the Commander because of the robberies and murders that have been going on; which you don't happen to know anything about it, do you?"

"I thought you'd never ask," she said, crossing her legs and pulling me up so I was doing the same. "Some of Cain's loud-mouth lackey's mentioned something about the last robbery that ended up in that family being murdered. They're going to keep going until they can pull in business like Sebastian. It's going to end in a turf war."

I sighed and rubbed my eyes. "I was hoping you wouldn't say that, but I got what I came for. Dok thinks the murders are Sebastian and this is the only way I can clear his name… of this crime. Have you seen him lately?"

"Not really," she said, looking sad. There had always been a thing between Kori and Sebastian and for her not to see him, I knew she missed him. I'd always teased him, saying one day they'd end up together but he always shot the idea down. "He's been too busy with the business. How you did it, I'll never know. Nor does he."  
I chuckled and patted her leg. "I was an angel sent from god himself. As much as I'd love to stay and chat, I have an angry Captain who's expecting me back in ten minutes and if I'm not there, I think he's going to personally murder me himself."

We both stood and she embraced me one more time. "Don't be a stranger," she whispered, kissing my cheek lightly. "Be careful."

"You too," I replied and left the brothel, walking back to the entrance with a weight on my shoulders. Being here just made me miss everything I'd lost, that much more. I could run. I could run back to Sebastian, but I couldn't betray Erwin like that. I just couldn't. I was being pulled in two directions and I didn't know which way to go. God. It would just be easier to start fresh where no one knew my name. I stomped towards the entrance, thoroughly lost in my thoughts when a hand descended on my shoulder and pulled me into an alleyway.

"What's a pretty little girl like you doing here?" A vile voice whispered, leaning in close to my ear. Little girl? Little fucking girl? I turned around, the biggest flirty smile on my face and saw that it was a tall, muscular man with dirty hair and a stubbly beard. He was one of Cain's men. I could tell because of the uniform he wore.

"I can be a little girl if you want me to," I said in a sultry voice, resisting the urge to cringe when I caressed his face gently. "Is that what you want?"

He nodded, a sick grin on his face and I slid my hand down his chest, towards the knife strapped in his belt. He lent down, and I pulled the knife out faster than he could react and sliced his neck open, blood spraying my face and clothes as he dropped to the floor, holding his neck. "You make me sick."

I pulled my hood up and carried on walking, moving through the crowds until I reached the entrance where Levi was waiting. I walked past him, knowing that he would follow and we cleared the passage, entering the surface after half an hour of walking. By the time we reached the surface, clouds had covered the sky and it was definitely going to rain.

"What happened, brat?" Shorty said, following behind me as I called my horse over.

"It's Rudolfo," I responded, my voice void of anything. I just want to go back. "He wants to start a turf war with Sebastian."

Shorty grabbed my arm, pulling me back and pushed my hood from my head. He immediately wiped his hand with a handkerchief and raised an eyebrow. "Was your source unreliable?"

"More like one of Cain's men tried to have a go and he tried to touch me," I replied, hoisting myself up onto my horse. "Can we go?"

He opened his mouth but closed it, nodding and mounting his own horse. I didn't wipe my face or clothes; I'll wear it like a trophy. I am not to be fucked with. We rode for the same abandoned house we'd stayed in the night before and we reached it by the time the sun had started to set. I didn't bother to wait for Levi, who I left to tend to the horses. To say I was in a bad mood, was an understatement. I thought about sitting down but ended up pacing the room, angrily stomping to get out my frustration.

I noticed Shorty walk in with firewood and start the fire, but I was too busy just stomping. Why had I gotten myself into this shit show? Sebastian was in a war, Kori was being fucked by men who didn't deserve her and everything was wrong. So goddamned wrong. "Brat."

Fuck off. I don't want to talk to you. I kept pacing, ignoring the man the was watching me with a bored expression on his face. His stupid fucking face. I hate him and I hate the fucking Scouts. "Brat."

"What the fuck do you want, Levi?" I rounded on him and jabbed him in the chest. "If you're going to yell at me, tell me I'm the worst person in the world, go ahead but if I kill you in your sleep, that's on you." I couldn't control my outburst. The words came pouring out of my mouth and I couldn't shut up. I've had enough of his shit. I'm done. I kept pacing, ignoring the mildly annoyed stare of Shorty and stomped even louder now.

Stupid fucking everything! Dok should have finished the fucking job. Living through this isn't fucking worth it. I can't go home and I'll never be the Scout Erwin wants me to be. I'm sick of fucking-

"-Salem," he said again, grabbing my shoulders and forcing me to stand still. The moment his hands touched me, I lifted my fist and went to hit him, but he blocked me and pulled me into his arms so I couldn't move. "Calm down, brat."

"Fuck you," I yelled, knocking us both over with my wiggling, but he kept an iron grip on me. We fell to the floor and I struggled even more, grunting and swearing while I was at it. "I hate you. I hate Erwin. I hate the fucking Scouts. I hate you all. You should've just killed me when you had the chance."

I could feel the stiffness in his position about the way he was holding me, but I just wanted him to get the fuck off me. "Get the fuck off me, Levi."

"Not until you calm the fuck down," he replied through gritted teeth.

Why couldn't anything go my way? "Fuck you!"

I don't know how long we sat there, me struggling in his arms while he awkwardly held me. Eventually, I ran out of energy, falling limp in his arms and he shoved me forwards in disgust so I landed with a thud on the floor. "I hate you," I managed to mumble sadly, unable to move myself from the floor. I watched him wipe himself down, the disgust still on his face but there was something else; pity. I don't want your pity, I though bitterly.

"Are you done, brat?" He questioned, raising an unimpressed eyebrow while staring down at me. Fuck you. I couldn't muster the energy to insult him. What was the point. We'd just go back to the compound and act like nothing had happened, telling Erwin our news before the potential turf war my only remaining family would have to fight in. Everything's so fucking good, right now. How could anything get better than this? "Salem?"

"Does hating me make you feel better?"

My question clearly caught him off guard because he had this look of indignation on his face. "I don't hate you," he said, rubbing his eyes wearing and running a hand through his dark hair.

"You have a weird fucking way of showing it," I replied, my voice coming out as nothing more than a pathetic mumble. "It's fine. You can tell me." I hiccuped and laughed bitterly. This had to be rock bottom. How could things get any worse?

"I don't hate you, Salem," he repeated, sighing and sitting on the ground opposite me. He lent against the wall and watched me with his stupid silver eyes. The Levi in front of me wasn't the man that normally walked around the Survey Corps compound. This was someone else. Someone I didn't know and I was curious. He looked tired, I mean he always did but even more so. His hair wasn't neat, it was ruffled and messy from the times he'd run his hands through it. He looked like shit, something I hadn't seen in him before. I raised an eyebrow but stayed silent, waiting for him to finish. "You wouldn't understand-"

"-try me," I replied, cutting him off. Is he really going to try and worm his way out of this one.

He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. "What the fuck am I doing? I'm too old for this shit, brat."  
"You're telling me," I replied, pushing myself into a sitting position and leaning against the wall behind me. We were two people who just didn't know how to interact with each other. "Now is there a point to your whining… or?"

"For the love of god," he cried, not angrily, just frustratingly. "Just let me get my words out, brat."

I pushed my tangled hair from my face and pulled my knees up to my chest, nodding so he could continue. The floor is yours, Shorty. "I don't hate you, Salem. There's not many people on this earth that I hate, and unfortunately, you're not on that list. There are things you don't understand, brat. You remind me of my life before the Scouts and that's something I don't want to remember. You piss me off because you're everything I want to forget, but I can't because you're always around, fucking me off."

Venerable Shorty. He looked like every word he spoke, physically hurt him. But how is that my fault? Why does that justify his treatment of me? But then again, I'd hated everyone in the Survey Corps because I didn't want to be one of them. How could I call him an ass when I'd just be a hypocrite? God fucking dammit, Salem. This just made me more confused. I held in the urge to laugh. How do I end up in these situations?

"That's not something I can control," I murmured, watching him through strands of my hair. He wouldn't look at me. He kept his gaze trained on the wooden floor underneath us. Venerability isn't his strong suit. "I don't want to be your punching bag. I can't do it anymore."  
This must have been a sight. Two disheveled people, sitting on the opposite side of the room from each other while they tried to sort out their issues. That day will never come, I thought to myself.

"I'll make you a deal," Shorty said, watching me closely. He wants to make a deal? He crossed his arms over his chest and crossed his legs in front of him. "First of all, no more Shorty or Captain Asshat. Yeah, I know about those and it's been doing my head in, brat. If you respect me, I'll try my best to respect you. Secondly, put effort into the Cadet Corps. You're in it for the long run and if you weren't such a shit, you'd make a good soldier."

Was that almost a complement? Was he actually trying to be nice to me? "And finally, mention anything that happened today and I'll skin you alive. Got it, brat?" I nodded. Who knew the day would come, where me and Shorty- well I guess the Captain now, could make a deal and come to an understanding? "Now clean yourself up and get some rest. You look like shit."

I raised an eyebrow, but he was already shifting on the floor, trying to get comfortable. I stared down at my feet and looked at the simple white handkerchief he'd thrown at me. A peace offering. I picked it up and wiped me face, managing to mutter a thank you and laid down myself, shuffling to find a comfortable spot. Sleep came easily that night. The entire day's events had left me drained and confused, but me and Levi had come to an understanding. History had been made today.

 **Ayyyyyy! Salem and Levi have finally come to an understanding. Who thought that day would come? I apologize that this update is a little late from what I normally post, but I had a real problem deciding where this was going to go. [I have my plot and story, but I had to fill a gap and I wanted to do the story justice]. Things are going to pick up soon and I think you're going to enjoy where the story goes. [Well, I hope you do]. Oh! I've also uploaded a side piece to this story called the Sebastian Chronicles. It's a letter correspondence between Salem and Sebastian - the letters I mentioned earlier in the story. You don't have to read it, but I think it's worth it and you'll probably learn some things while you're at it. Well, until next time!**

 **-TheQueenOfTheWarFlowers**


	9. You won't believe this false hope

9

"It wasn't Sebastian," I said, opening the door to Erwin's office and sitting down in front of his desk. I knew Levi was hot on my tail and he was sitting in the chair next to me in seconds. I don't think Erwin was expecting us because he was staring at us with an almost dumbfounded look on his face, despite the fact my mind was reeling and I was ready to data dump everything I was told by Kori. "I spoke to an old friend who works in his territory and Cain is planning on causing the turf war. He wants to take Sebastian down and then take over the business. Cain can't do anything yet… he doesn't have the men yet, but when he does, it's going to be a bloodbath. I have to warn Sebastian."

On the ride back, I had lost myself in my thoughts wondering how the hell I was going to keep Sebastian and my business safe. I had to warn him. Would Erwin let me warn him? I knew this was coming; a turf war, that is. It was always on the cards. Rudolfo Cain was a man who wanted more than he could handle or deserved and he'd always been after things that weren't his. Now I was regretting not taking him down when I had the chance. This wasn't Sebastian's fight.

I also mulled over last nights conversation with Levi. We came to an understanding. We came to a fucking understanding! How the hell had we done that? I was proud though. Behavioral improvement. Suck my ass, Dok. I'll show you some behavioral improvement.

When we got to the gate, we marched straight for Erwin's office so I could tell him everything Kori had told me in the Underground.

"Your source is reliable?" He questioned, writing down what I'd just said.

I nodded and went back to picking at my nails. "She works in his territory. Everything she knows comes from the mouths of his soldiers himself. She hears everything that goes on and if she says that Cain is trying to start a turf war-he's starting a turf war." Erwin nodded and wrote down everything I was saying. "If Cain is starting a war, then you don't have long. You need to warn Sebastian and you need to shut Cain down. If you don't, it won't be a war; it will be a massacre."

I know it sounds dramatic, but there was no way that the Scouts or MP's would be able to stop the killing once it had begun. Levi hadn't said anything since we'd gotten here and he was listening silently, shifting every so often in his chair. I don't think he knew what to say, so he chose to stay silent instead. I was curious though, about where he went while I was busy with Kori. I had so many theories running through my mind, but I was itching to ask him myself. I told myself not to push it though, that he was at least accepting me now and I didn't want to mess that up. Getting along made my life easier and maybe we would work better together if we didn't get mad at each other the moment we saw each other.

"What's the plan?" Levi said, finally deciding to speak while staring at Erwin, but Erwin was staring at me.

"You want _me_ to decide our plan of action?" I questioned, looking at him with eyes wide with shock.

He nodded and I raised an eyebrow. That's a lot of trust, Brows. At least he was listening to me though and if I had the reigns in this metaphorical situation, then I was going to make sure I did things right. "If it's up to me what we do," I said, sitting straight with my game face on. "Then first we need to warn Sebastian that Cain is on the move. The sooner he knows, the more chance we have of being able to take Cain down. We need to raid the Northern quarter of the Underground; that's where his business is and take him by surprise. There is, however, one thing you cannot do if you want to make this mission a success."

"And that is?" Erwin said pointedly.

"You can't involve the Military Police in the mission," I finished, waiting for their confused or incredulous reactions.

"Why would we do that, brat?" Levi said, shifting so he could look at me. His eyebrow was raised and he was looking at me like I was stupid. "The Military Police are also investigating this. They run security in the Underground; they have a right to know."

How could they not know about the corruption in the Military Police? It was visible from space and everyone in the Underground knew that the MP's had a side-business with Cain and other low-key criminals.

"Because the Military Police have connections to Cain," I explained, keeping my eyes on the ground. If the Commander of the Survey Corps didn't know about the corruption, then I really hadn't wanted to be the one to explain it all to him. Would they even believe me if it came from me? "It's common knowledge that the MP's have a side-business with Cain in the Underground. They profit on Cain's less than legal business dealings so they let him get away with more than they should. You can't tell them because I don't know who we can trust. They could tip him off and then the whole mission would be pointless."

Erwin kept writing, not looking at me and I fidgeted in my seat. Levi was also looking at me, but he didn't look that surprised. He should know. He would know about the corruption in the Underground. "Sir?"

"I'll take what you've said into consideration," Erwin replied, making one emphasized full stop before closing his file and looking at me. Is that it? I hope he knows what he's doing, I thought. "I have a meeting with Commander Dok in an hour to discuss our plan of action. Of course, I will present him with the information you've provided from your source and I'll present your plan. You're both dismissed and you'll receive an update the moment the meeting has concluded."

We nodded and stood, leaving Erwin alone to prepare for his meeting. Levi and I walked side by side in silence, heading towards the dorms where I was wholly planning on showering and sleeping for the rest of the day.

"Why were you arrested?"

I almost stopped, turning to look at Levi who'd said it so offhandedly that I almost thought it wasn't him. "What?"

"You heard me," he replied, still not looking at me but at the corridor ahead. So he's just as nosy as the others, huh?

"Sebastian was moving a package and accidentally left evidence that it was us," I said, thinking back to that night. We'd been hesitant to make the move because we had a small opening to move the package, but we'd accepted nonetheless because the money was good. Too good. "Sebastian volunteered to move the package while I was busy in a meeting and three hours later, he was back saying that the Military Police were hot on his trail. I told him to meet me in my office, I locked him in there then handed myself over to Dok."

He mulled over what I said and just kept walking. "Why would you do that?"

"He's family. Wouldn't you do the same for yours?"

He mumbled something incoherent and said goodbye, before disappearing towards the elites dorms. Good… talk? These days, I didn't think much of the way Levi just left conversations and people. It's just his way. He's not good with people, I think. I nodded in his direction and just carried on walking, heading towards my room in the attic.

"Salem?"

I turned to listen to the sound of someone calling my name and spotted Eren, walking towards me from the end of the corridor. "Oh hello, Eren." I met him in the middle and we walked together towards my room. I guess he doesn't have anywhere to be right now. "I haven't seen you in a while."

"Where have you been?" He questioned, nudging my shoulder playfully. "Don't think I haven't noticed that you vanished two days ago."

"Keen eyes, Yaeger," I replied, smiling at him. "But if I told you where I've been, I'd have to kill you." Seeing his face, I punched his shoulder and laughed lightly. "I'm kidding. Well, about the killing you part. I can't tell you where I've been but trust me, you wouldn't want to know anyway. Erwin has made it clear that it has to stay between us."

He raised an eyebrow, something a lot of people here did and I rolled my eyes. "I can't tell you, Eren."

"It's fine," he said, jokingly holding a hand to his heart. "It's not like I've been worried or anything."

"You worry about me, kid?"

"Not anymore," he said, his own grin plastered on his face.

When we reached my room, I invited him in and told him he could sit on the bed. My gear caught my eye and a sudden thought entered my brain, making me grin evilly. "We haven't trained in a while," I commented, picking my gear up and waving it in his face. "How about we have a session?"

He nodded eagerly and left to grab his gear. I washed my face and changed into my uniform, pulling on my gear and making sure the straps were secure. I made my way down to the training grounds and saw that Eren was already waiting there. I fingered my gear lightly and walked towards him, smiling when he noticed me. I didn't stop though. "Go!"

I shot into the trees, looking back to see that he was trying his best to keep up with me. Our laughter mixed with the loud rushing of wind and we zoomed through the course, dodging trees and branches while we headed for the end. He put up a valiant effort but I lost him about seven minutes in, noticing he wasn't there when I could no longer hear his gear. I finished the course, landing at the edge of the tree line and caught my breath; my chest heaving up and down. He landed soon after me and I patted his back happily. "Fuck," I panted, laughed breathlessly. "I still forget how much fun that is. Good attempt, kid but you'll never be as fast as me."

"We'll see," he replied, grinning at me.

I shot my wires into a large tree, landing neatly while looking down at him. "Sit with me," I said, sitting down and dangling my legs over the edge of the large branch. We were maybe twenty feet in the air, but we could see the entire course from where we were. I watched the other cadets and scouts zooming around the course, but I turned my gaze back to Eren when he sat down beside me. He too, swung his legs over the side of the branch and petted my knee gently. "How have you been? I feel like we haven't spoken in a while."

"You've been pretty vacant around the compound lately," he commented, watching a scout zoom past us. Yaeger missed me? That's cute. Real cute, kid. "I haven't been up to much. Chores. Training. More chores and eating. Life is crazy in the Cadet Corps. What about you, though? With all of your top secret missions and meetings, you're practically a scout."

I scoffed and gave him a look. He already thinks I'm Erwin's perfect soldier? "Easy, Yaeger. I'll still push you from this tree. But on that topic, I'm exhausted. Sometimes I wish I could go back to my cell and just sleep all day. Only now I realize how bliss it was."

"You really want to go back?"

I shook my head and laughed. "No," I said, shifting on the branch so I was comfier. How does it always get so deep, so fast? "No, I don't think I would. I'm actually starting to accept the fact that I'm here. Just about, anyway. Lately though, I just feel like I'm being pulled in two directions and I'm not sure which way to go."

"Is it the Underground? Is it Sebastian?"

Sometimes Eren could be perceptive and I had no doubt in my mind that he knew that wherever I was disappearing to, had something to do with the Underground. He was smarter than I, and everyone else gave him credit for. "I can't tell you the exact details," I explained, scratching as a piece of my skin repeatedly. "But of the stuff I can tell you, you're about right with where I'm being pulled. Do I stay here or do I go back to Sebastian? I really don't know what I want anymore. Isn't that unexpected? I thought my endgame would always be going back to Sebastian and my business, but now… I think part of me actually wants to stay here."

The one million dollar question. Where would I go from here? How had I ended up wanting to stay in the Survey Corps? Cadet or scout. What the fuck am I doing?

"You think you'll stay?"

So he knew I had planned on leaving? "I don't know," I said honestly. "I don't know what I want anymore. Sometimes I tell myself I want to go home, back to Sebastian but other times, I wish I could bring him here and start a new life. The Underground isn't living and despite my business, even I know that. I love the power and how being the Reaper makes me feel, but I want something more. I want Sebastian to have an actual life, something other than what we have down there. He's looked after me my entire life and I would give him the world if I could. I want him to have more than the Underground."

"You really love him, don't you?" Eren said, looking at me with a soft expression on his face. He was a big softie. "You don't talk about anyone else, like you do him."

"Of course, I love him," I replied, smiling just thinking about him. It was like Eren and Armin. They had a love that could never be broken. I don't think they saw it quite yet, but they did. "I love him with all of my heart. He looked after me when no one else would. God, I sound like such a mushy fuck face. What happened to me? This never happened, Yeager. I'll deny it."

He chuckled and held his hands up. "Hey," he said, a small grin on his face. "I'm just impressed that you're telling me all of this. The big bad Reaper, just as human as the rest of us."

This brought us both to tears as we laughed. Oh how things had changed. When the laughter died down, I took a moment to breathe in the air and just sit there. Things have changed. Oh how things have changed. I am no longer the Reaper. I am something more, but I'm not sure what that is yet. Whatever it is though, I'm okay with it. "No matter what," I said, leaning my head on Eren's shoulder. "I think everything is going to be okay."

We sat back, watching the sun set and, in the silence, I felt something shift within me. I could get used to this. I could get used to being above ground, but I would never be complete without Sebastian. Maybe I could get him citizenship and we could get a house together, or at least close by if he ever admitted his feelings for Kori. I still think they'd make a good couple. Even if Sebastian wouldn't admit it yet. We could have dinner together every Friday and maybe Eren could tag along. I'd even let him bring his little friends. I could have a life up here. Beyond my past and business. I'd like that, I think. I'd like it a lot.

 **And here we are. I know it's a little shorter than what you're normally used to, but there is a really good reason why. 1. I just really liked how this ended. It felt like the right place. 2. Bit of a spoiler, but we're jumping in time after this chapter. 3. There will be an author's note going up hopefully at the end of the night to explain what's going to happen from here. Don't worry. I'm not abandoning the story or going on a hiatus or anything, I just want to update you on life. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'll see you later on with a little update.**

 **-TheQueenOfTheWarFlowers**


	10. We're going through changes

10

 **[Italics are memories]**

Two years. Two years had passed since our meeting with Erwin and everything had changed. Today, I would graduate along with the rest of the 104th training corps and choose what I was going to do with my life, from now on. The Survey Corps. The Military Police. The Garrison. I had all the options; graduating second, just behind Mikasa. Prior to graduation, Shadis had pulled me into his office and told me that though I had the marks to graduate top of the class, I'd be graduating second because of my status. Yeah, I still held a criminal status. That would change though once I graduated. I would be a Scout.

Yeah; I'd already picked. I think I picked around the two year mark of my time in the Cadet Corps. I'm ahead of myself, though. I have to go back a little. About two weeks after my meeting with Erwin, he pulled myself and Levi back into his office and explained the plan of action.

" _We've come to a decision," Erwin explained, sitting behind his desk with his hands folded in front of him. He looked nervous. No, not nervous; just like he had news to share that one of us wouldn't like. And I think I know who that person is. "Commander Dok and I have devised a plan to raid the Northern quarter of the Underground. Salem, we're going to need you to show us where his business is. We need precise locations and information to decrease collateral damage." Damn, collateral damage? They're taking him down for good then, I thought. I nodded, a serious look on my face. But wouldn't it just be easier if I showed them where it is once we get down there?_

" _I can show you when we get down there," I said, looking to Levi who was nodding in agreement. Erwin hesitated though, turning to look at me directly. He wasn't telling me something. I have a pretty good idea of what he's going to tell me. "I'm not coming. Am I, Sir?"_

" _Dok deems it too risky," he replied, making direct eye contact with me. He didn't agree with the decision; I could see it all over his face, but the Underground was Dok's territory. Erwin had to do what he was told. "Despite your extensive knowledge of the Underground, he thinks Captain Ackerman is enough and that you aren't necessary to be there. He still harbours feelings that you're a flight risk and being down in the Underground gives you the perfect opportunity to re-join your business."_

 _Right… I understand now. No matter what I do, I'll always be a criminal in almost every bodies eyes. I sat back in my chair and nodded. What would complaining do? What would throwing a fit and getting angry do? "If those are his orders," I said, my voice surprisingly calm and unwavering. "Then I must follow them. I can show you everything I know on a map so you're prepared."_

 _I think they were both surprised with how well I took it and I'd be lying if I said I totally meant to be as calm as I was, but fighting everyone had become pointless. What would it accomplish? I looked to Levi, who's face was placid. He was looking at me and I could see it in his eyes; he was surprised at my reaction. I shrugged and went back to listening to Erwin._

 _The meeting went on for another hour, with myself showing Erwin and Levi and a map where his men were usually posted, where his base was and the best way to get in. If I couldn't be there, then I had to make damn sure that they knew what they were doing. Once I felt that they had enough information, I sat back and watched them plan amongst themselves. This hasn't got anything to do with me anymore._

 _I could reflect on my time here. I was no longer the person I was, when I first joined the Scouts. I am something more now and I want other people to see that I'm not just a criminal. Hell, I wasn't just a criminal when I was in the Underground. But that's all people wanted to see and that was all I wanted people to see. I think Sebastian would be proud._

" _Salem?"_

 _I blinked, looking at Erwin and Levi who were staring at me; Eyebrows with amusement in his eyes and Shorty just looked annoyed. Yeah… I wasn't listening._

" _Run that by me again," I said, a sheepish grin on my face. I was impressed that they hadn't noticed I was paying less attention than a goldfish. "Sorry. Lost myself in my thoughts for a second."_

" _I asked if there was anything else we needed to know before we start the mission?"_

 _I shook my head. "You know everything that I know, but I will offer you some advice. Cain is unpredictable and isn't likely to let himself be taken in by the Scouts. You have to be careful. Observe your surroundings."_

 _Both men nodded and then I was told I could go back to my daily activities. I could've done that, but I really wasn't feeling it after everything that had happened. I just wanted to sleep and wait until news came our way about the mission. Levi had said they were leaving later that day; the sooner the better, apparently and they were hoping to be back within the week. They were going to scout the area first and then storm his base to hopefully catch him off guard. I made it half way to my room when someone caught my attention from behind._

" _Hey brat."_

 _I turned and saw Levi walking towards me with a blank expression on his face. I wonder why he always makes himself unreadable? What happened to him? "Sir," I said, nodding so he knew I was listening. We walked side by side down the corridor and I looked to him, waiting for him to say something. "What can I do you for?"_

 _Despite our understanding, I knew that we were nowhere near friends or even acquaintances, so why was he interested in walking with me?_

" _We leave at noon," he said, looking straight ahead. Something in his voice was different; it was almost... mischievous. "By the main gate. You should take note, brat."_

 _He nodded and left the corridor, walking away and leaving me shocked and confused. It didn't take a genius to figure out what he was telling me, but why would he tell me? Why would he help me defy Erwin's orders? I stopped, looking towards where he disappeared and chuckled quietly. So, he isn't the golden boy everyone thinks he is? If they were leaving at noon, then I had to be quick._

 _I walked towards where I knew Eren was; the training room and whistled for his attention. "Yaeger," I called, flicking my head and walking out of the room. I knew he'd come. "I need a favour."_

 _I turned to look at a puzzled Eren. "What do you need?"_

" _I need you to cover for me," I explained, motioning to the training session I was supposed to be in. "I don't really have time to explain but if anyone asks, I need you to tell them I'm sick."  
He nodded. See, this is why I like you Yaeger. You don't ask questions. "You're going back, aren't you?"  
"Perceptive as ever," I remarked, a smirk on my face. "Can you help a fellow Cadet out?"_

" _So long as you tell me everything when you get back."_

 _Damn, kid. You drive a hard bargain, but I have to do this. I have to go back. I need to make sure everyone is safe. "You've got yourself a deal," I said, holding out my hand and waiting for him to shake it. "I have to go, kid. I'm on a tight schedule but thanks for covering."_

 _I turned and jogged down the corridor, towards my room in the attic to change and get ready. I still couldn't believe that Levi was helping me sneak back into the Underground. Why the hell would he do that? I changed out of my uniform, pulling on the same clothes I'd worn on the mission with Levi and wrapped my cloak around my shoulders. They'd be leaving soon, and I needed to get to the courtyard without anyone noticing. I tucked a knife into my boot and decided to leave my bag here, knowing it would be easier to move if I didn't have weight on my back. Let's get this shit going then._

 _I moved down the halls, keeping my head down and ducking into rooms and corners when I heard someone coming. They probably wouldn't care, but I wanted to make sure that nobody knew I was leaving with the Scouts. If Erwin found out, I don't think I'd be able to look at the disappointment on his face and if Dok found out, there was no way I'd be able to stay here or ever be allowed on a mission again. This was it. Now or never. I was going to protect everyone._

 _When I got to the courtyard, there were Scouts lined up on horses, waiting by the gate in mission mode. The mood was beyond sombre. They were going into unknown territory. At least they knew what to expect when they rode across titan land. I slid around the edges of the formation, keeping my head down and looking for the horse I knew Levi would have left. It was towards the back, tied in an empty corner and I petted its nose, pulling the rope from its neck and pulling it towards the rest of the crowd. I held back, staying somewhat away from the rest of them and pulled myself up onto its back. It's time to go, I thought to myself, noting Erwin and Levi at the front as the gates opened. It's time._

" _We can do this," I muttered, leaning down close to the horse's ear._

 _The moment the gates opened, Erwin yelled for us to move and the Scouts urged their horse's forwards, riding hard towards the Underground. I took off after them, keeping my hood up as I rode and kept a gap between myself and the end of the formation. I could see some people giving me strange looks as I rode past, which was understandable since I wasn't in uniform but there was jack shit they could do now. I would have to take a different route to the formation because I wouldn't be able to enter the same way they would. They'd spot me a mile away._

 _Slowly, I increased the gap between myself and the formation and then broke off into a gallop, leaving their line and heading in a different direction; towards the back entrance. The only problem was, we'd have to move twice as fast because I would enter from the South. I'd have to move through the South, past my business and get to where Cain was, all before the Scouts even got there. I can do this._ _Levi and I had agreed that they would stay overnight in the same abandoned part of the city we had and that meant I had all night to ride._

 _I rode for hours, stopping every so often to let my horse breathe, but we were back on the road in a matter of minutes. We have to keep going. I didn't stop when the rain started to fall; nor did I stop when all I wanted to do was close my eyes and sleep. I can't sleep. I have to get to the Underground. I have to keep everyone safe. I couldn't just sit back and wait for them to come back or not come back at all._

 _I reached the back entrance by dawn, the sun peaking over the mountains of the land as I started making my way down the tunnel. At the entrance, I pulled the knife out of my boot, gripping the handle tightly in my hand because I knew there would be guards stationed at the inner entrance of the tunnel. If I could get out of killing them, then I would but if I couldn't get them to understand in the time that I had, then I'd have no choice. Holding the knife in my left hand had become increasingly harder with the stiffness of the skin, but it was to be expected. The burn had healed completely by now and all that was left, was an ugly pink scar. I'll add it to the collection, I told myself._

 _I'd never liked this entrance and exit of the Underground. It was dangerous. That's why both Sebastian and I, had always kept it guarded. So no one else would hurt themselves. What? I'm not always a cold bastard. The surface was steep and uneven, leading to cavern lined with sharp rocks that were extremely difficult to navigate, especially in the darkness. One wrong move, and you'd be sent tumbling into the cold rock and you wouldn't be getting up without serious damage. It took me longer than I hoped, considering I'd done this tunnel before but once I got near the exit, I slowed down, trying to be even quieter so the guards wouldn't hear me._

 _The guards came into view and I noted that they both had swords strapped to their hips and were conversing lightly among themselves. Here goes nothing. I really hope I don't know you._

 _Slowly, I crept up behind them and slipped my arm around one of the guard's neck, pushing the blade against his pulse. "Move and you die," I hissed, pulling his sword from its sheath and pointed it at the other man. "I don't want any trouble. Put your sword on the ground and face the wall."_

 _I watched as the guards did as they were told and the moment they turned away from me, I used the handle of my knife to knock them out; one by one. They hit the ground like a sack of rocks and I pulled my hood up, which had slipped down in the tunnel and made my way into the filthy streets of the Underground. The smell always hit me first. The disgusting odour of death. Rats. Dirt. Poverty and suffering. Being away for so long had made me forget how bad it was. Keep your head down and just keep walking. My journey wasn't over yet. Now that I wasn't in a shit mood, or intent on getting information for Erwin, so much so that I didn't look at my surroundings; I could finally take a good look at the city I called home._

 _The whole concept of the Underground, when it was first proposed seemed like the only viable option the royal family had. There was limited space above ground, so why not build below it? The underground cities were meant to be the next big thing, but when the rich of the topside saw that the only thing they'd be getting down there was weak legs and lack of sun, the poorest of them all were forced down there, and had been living there ever since. Everyone got sick. Everyone died early. The Underground city was nothing more than a mass grave for the people who didn't matter anymore._

 _The streets were filthy; literally. They were covered in mud and dirt. Litter and dead bodies. The bodies were just another part of the background. Some died curled in on themselves; they were normally the ones that died because they didn't have enough to eat. Some died reaching out; they were the ones that were killed by the bad people down here. Either way, they died. Everyone does down here. Support beams reached the sky. holding the roof of the cavern up, but everyone knew that one day, this whole place was coming down._

 _Buildings lined the streets. Some reached what seemed like the top of the cavern. Like the buildings themselves, were trying to escape. It started off with two-tiered houses. They weren't anything fancy, but with enough work they could have been called home. That was when the Underground was first opened. As the years went by, there was more of need for homes and they started adding more, building the stacks higher and higher until it all started falling apart. Nobody would do anything about it though. Once it began to crumble, they abandoned attempts to fix it and left it to rot. Today, the walls were mouldy and cracked, the tiles on the roofs had started falling, killing a passing stranger or two over the years. Speaking of the houses, the poorest of the poor lived in the Underground but if you owned a house, you were considered rich down here. I don't know if I had a house as a kid, I don't remember but I remember how it felt when Alec brought me back to what would become my home. When they took me in, I couldn't believe my eyes when they led me into one of the stacks, climbing the stairs until we reached the house with the red door. I really had it good back then._

 _My thoughts were interrupted as I was shoved to the side by a tall man with dark hair. I turned to yell at him, maybe even hit him but I almost froze when I saw who it was. It's him. Sebastian. He turned, most likely to yell at me but I ducked into an alley, so he wouldn't see me. Even if he hadn't of turned around, I would have recognised him anywhere. I waited until he moved on and started following him, getting too wrapped up in seeing him after all this time to care about why I was down here._

 _He was moving through the South, heading towards the North and I couldn't help but wonder why? Why would he need to go so far North? And why did he have to go on a day like this? The day Erwin decided to take Rudolfo Cain down. He's too close, I thought to myself._

 _I could've reached out and touched him. I could have called his name… but I didn't. I couldn't. If I made him aware that I was down here, I'd jeopardise the entire mission. I couldn't endanger Erwin or Levi and they'd definitely know I was down here if I did._

 _Sebastian stopped and turned; looking around to see if anyone was following him but I ducked into an alley between two tall stacks, watching him from the darkness. Creepy, I know but I couldn't have him seeing me. Not now. He stood there, surveying his surroundings but eventually went back to talking to the guards he was working with. I recognised them. They weren't high ranking when I was here, but to be guarding Sebastian meant they'd worked their way up. Good on them._

" _So, you're alive?"_

 _I whipped around to look at the old woman, covered in dirty brown rags. Her wrinkled skin had layers of dirt caking its surface and her grey hair was matted and filthy. She looked too old to be alive, but she was staring at me, her eyes wide in wonder. "I don't know what you're talking about," I replied, eye both the woman and Sebastian behind me. Who the hell even is she? "You must have me confused with someone else."_

" _I'm old, not stupid," she replied, exposing her rotten and grimy teeth. Lovely. Just lovely. "You're the Reaper. You're supposed to be dead."_

 _This woman is putting everyone at risk. I need her gone. "I don't know what you're talking about. My name is Mikasa." Not my finest work, I'll admit, but it was the first name that came to me and I was rolling with it. "I'm not-"_

" _-I was hoping you'd take me for less of a fool," she interrupted, her hands emerging from the rags holding an old rusty gun pointed straight at me in one and a bag in the other. Really, Grandma? Also, where the hell did she get a gun from? It's not like they were a common thing down here. We're a knife city."I don't want any trouble. Give me all your valuables. And I reckon that knife is pretty, so that goes in the bag too. Try anything and I'll shoot you."_

 _She was desperate enough to try and take someone like me down. She knew I was the Reaper, and she still thought it was a smart idea to point a gun at me? I think she would have tried this on anyone and anyone without a weapon, would have lost everything to this old hag. If you want to join the criminal life, then I'll show you what it means to be a criminal. "Shoot me then," I replied, leaning casually against the wall. "If you want my shit that badly, shoot me. Go on. I won't even move. I'm an easy target."_

 _She lifted the gun even higher in her shaking hands and in her hesitation, I disarmed her and pointed the gun at her instead. "You're playing in the big leagues now," I hissed, circling her cowering form. "This is what it means to be a criminal and I don't think you have what it takes. Are you that desperate?"_

" _Please," she begged, holding her hands out in a surrender. Now you want to beg? Now you want to act like the little innocent old woman? I may be more than the Reaper now, but I am still the Reaper. "I didn't mean-"_

 _I wish I cared. The bang of the bullet embedding itself in the woman's skull, echoed even in the overcrowded streets and she crumpled to the ground in a bloody, pathetic heap. Blood splattered the walls and floor behind her and I stared in fascination at the bloody hole in her forehead. She'll join the other faceless corpses on the streets of the Underground, I thought. She died just as insignificant as she was born.I scoffed and dropped the gun beside her. How pathetic._

 _I left the alleyway pretty quickly, knowing that the gunshot would draw may people's attention and I booked it to the other side of the alley and towards the Northern quarter of the Underground. I've spent enough time distracted from my goal. I was appreciative of the old woman though because the gunshot and her body would definitely keep Sebastian distracted for a while. Maybe long enough to keep him from getting any closer to Cain's operation._

 _The streets were still lined with thugs and prostitutes. I wonder if Kori is working tonight? I hope she's okay. I kept my head down and ignored the fake pleasure-filled calls and the angry grunting of the men and women who wanted nothing more than to crack someone's skull open, pushing my way through the crowds, closer to Cain's territory. The closer I got, the heavier the guard presence became and despite running into one of his guards last time, even I knew that trying would only leave me with all of the bones in my body broken._

 _The Scouts should be here by now. They would be all around me and I would be none the wiser. It was better that way. It meant that Cain wouldn't see them coming either. Come on, Salem. Everything's going to work out fine. No one's going to get hurt. Erwin and Levi will get Cain, and everything can go back to the way it was._

If only that's how it all turned out…

It wouldn't be long now. I was currently sitting at one of the tables with Eren, Armin, Mikasa, Jean, Sasha and Connie. Reiner had just gotten up to get some more water and Bertolt had disappeared somewhere. Weird kid. We were sitting at the dinner tables, conversing amongst each other and I was leaning against Eren's side, to keep myself upright. Eren had his arm draped over my shoulder and everything was relaxed. Things had definitely changed a lot. All day, I had been trying to keep the mood light and enjoyable. I could see the nerves radiating of the younger ones. Today would mark the beginning and end of their lives. They were all shitting themselves, but that was to be expected. Out of the entirety of the 104th Training Corps, I didn't see many of them joining the Survey Corps. They didn't want to die young.

"Did you see Eren go flying earlier?" Armin said, with a giant grin on his face. That was another thing that had changed in the last two years. Armin and I had come to more than an understanding. We created a friendship over education. I would always find him reading and after plucking up the courage, I asked him to do something for me.

 _I saw Armin sitting at one of the tables, a book in hand and I sucked in a breath. Here goes nothing. I walked over to him and sat down beside him. "Hello," I said, smiling so I hopefully wouldn't scare him._

" _Salem," he responded, not bothering to look up from the book he was reading. "Can I help you with something?"_

 _I nodded. "I was… I was wondering if you could, only if you have the time; but could you maybe, teach me how to read? Sebastian got me started and I can read and write most things, I just struggle when it comes to the harder stuff."_

 _I waited in anticipation for his response and watched him lower his book. He looked shocked. Is me not being able to read at my age, really that much of a shock? "You want me to teach you how to read?"_

" _I mean, if you have time," I replied, wringing my hands nervously. I don't think I've been this nervous in a while. You're being stupid, Salem. You're just asking him to help you, a twenty-three-year-old woman, learn how to read properly. "I just think I should probably learn and well, you're one of the smartest people I know. And I know a lot of people."_

 _He took a moment to think and then nodded thoughtfully. "I'll help you," he said, a sheepish grin on his face. "We can start now if you want."_

 _I nodded eagerly and joined him on the bench. He gave me an hour, reading through the book with me and helping correct me when I was wrong. I was still pretty shit, but I was getting better each time we continued to read. By the time the hour was up, Armin was congratulating me on my progress and promising me we would do this again. I thanked him and got up, leaving him to carry on with his reading and started walking around the compound, wanting some fresh air. This is good. I'm making connections. That's is good, right?_

"Eren's never been good at walking in a straight line," I replied, laughing when Eren kicked my leg with his foot. "Are you forgetting the first gear training session we had?"

"I'm a lot better now," Eren shot back, looking all offended and I just ruffled his hair lightly. "You watch, I'll be in the top ten."

I hummed and just nodded along. Secretly though, I was really hoping he got into the top ten, because is anyone deserved it, it was him. He'd worked so hard over the last three years and I was so proud. So damn proud.

Our light banter was interrupted by Levi, who walked in and clicked his tongue, grabbing our attention. "It's time," he said, motion with his head, towards the door. I nodded towards the others, standing and watching as the other followed my lead. The others filed out and as I passed Levi, he reached out and grabbed my arm, holding me back. "A word, brat."

I stopped and nodded, smiling up at him. "Ready to tell me I'm not graduating?"

He almost cracked a smile when I made the joke and he shook his head, the corners of his lips turned up slightly. "Surprisingly, no," he said, starting to walk slowly while I trailed behind him. "I actually just wanted to say that I never thought we'd reach this day; a day where I could stand your face."

I chuckled at this and nodded. He wasn't wrong. Over the last two years, our relationship had changed… evolved, maybe. But to tell you about that, I would have to finish my story about the raid on Cain's territory, and that's a long one. Here goes nothing.

 **Well here we are on another cliffhanger. Hello again, by the way. I know it's been a while since I last uploaded and I apologise for that, but moving to a new country and settling in to uni has been a bit hectic. Everything is running smoothly though now and I'm hoping to get a some what regular upload schedule. I won;t promise anything though, because as the work piles on, I have to prioritise my schoolwork. I'm not going to abandon this story though, like ever because I have too many ideas for Salem; so you guys don't need to worry.**

 **Well I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Things are really starting to kick off now, especially since we've had a bit of a time skip. Don't worry though. I'll definitely be looking back at the two years we haven't heard about and you'll get to see the full evolution of Salem. I just got to a point where I was like, the story needs to get going now and I liked how the format turned out. Don't forget to favourite and review if you want to and I'll see you in the next upload.**

 **-TheQueenOfTheWarFlowers**


	11. I fucking did it!

11

 _I waited in anticipation for something to happen… anything, but his territory was completely silent. His alarms weren't going off, there weren't any running guards; it was all just peaceful. Something's wrong, I thought. Something is definitely wrong. I started walking towards his territory, keeping my head down and my ears up, straining to hear anything about what had gone down. They were supposed to be here by now, so where the fuck were they? I'd heard someone say before; 'the calm before the storm,' and boy, were they right._

 _From the depths of Cain's territory, gunshots could be heard mingling with yells and all the guards stationed on the outskirts of his territory went racing towards the disruption. I couldn't breathe. Something was wrong. This was all wrong. Against my better judgement, I went running towards the commotion and pushing past the people around me, I disappeared into Cain's territory. Shit was about to hit the fan._

 _I'd only ever been here once before on a recon mission, so my baring's were foggy, but I just followed the men running towards the noise, instead of the people running away. Just stay out of sight and god, I hope no one's been hurt._

 _I stuck to the shadows, running silently through the streets until I found where the fighting was happening. Oh no…_

"Things have really changed," I said, walking alongside Levi, towards the courtyard. There was still an element of awkwardness to our encounters, but we had come to a comfortable agreement. It was just the way he interacted. He didn't like people, but there was people he tolerated and I had found myself as one of those people. "Haven't they, Sir?"

He hummed in agreement. "Have you decided what division you're going to join once you've graduated?"

I nodded. Like he didn't know, I thought with a small grin on my face. I looked up at the Captain and saw that he was watching me from the corner of his eye. I raised an eyebrow and he went back to looking ahead. I caught you, sir. We were a lot more comfortable with each other, having come to that agreement two years ago and after three years, I think I could say that we were comrades and that we trusted each other. I was very lucky to be able to say that.

"I'm joining the Survey Corps," I replied, wringing my hands together. For some reason, I was nervous. Like, I knew I had the ability to choose whatever division I wanted because I had the marks, but part of me still didn't think I deserved a place in the Survey Corps. Had these three years made up for all of the mistakes I'd made since I got here? "You're not going to be getting rid of me easily."

"Well that's actually what I wanted to talk to you about, brat," Levi continued, stopping which in turn, made me stop to look at him. What's this about? "I want you to join the special ops squad."

Well fuck. That's not what I was expecting him to say. He wants me to join his squad? But only the best of the best joined his squad... and I am not the best by far. "You want me to join your squad?"

Now it was his turn to nod. "You're a good soldier. You deserve a place on the best squad."

He thinks I'm a good soldier? Good enough to be on his squad? That was almost a complement... Did _The_ Levi Ackerman just complement me? Well if he wants me, who am I to turn down the Captain. A giant grin spread across my face and I nodded. "It would be an honour, Sir."

 _Disguised Scouts and Cain's men's corpses were scattered across the courtyard and there were people fighting each other in the streets. Cain knew we were here and shit had hit the fan. The Scouts were going to get slaughtered… this isn't familiar territory. God fucking damn it. Why did I let them come down here?_

 _I kicked into action, running towards the fighting and after pulling my knife from my boot, I set to work slaughtering Cain's guards. You're not touching me people. I couldn't see Erwin or Levi, which meant that they were deeper in Cain's territory, and I kept my hood pulled up as I moved through his men. One slice after another, I butchered Cain's men; thank god I knew the difference between a man who lived in the Underground a man who didn't, until there was a clear path in front of me. I ignored the stares of the disguised Scouts and kept moving through the compound. I have to make sure they're okay. I need to know they're okay._

 _I felt the blood dripping down my face, mixing with my sweat and I wiped my brow. I was angry. Fuck that, I was pissed. I felt the arms of the Reaper curling themselves around me and I wasn't fighting it._

 _This was the fucking Underground._

 _I was the fucking Reaper and I was going to act like it._

 _I dropped body after body until I reached where I knew Cain spent most of his time. His inner compound. I'm going to kill you, Cain. I'm going to rip your head from your fucking shoulders and fucking dance on your grave._

 _I stayed in the shadows, eyes darting back and forth every time I heard something move. People were yelling, screams were echoing in the corridors and I was on the hunt. I was going to take this whole thing down. I would protect Sebastian. I would protect Erwin. I would protect Levi. I would protect everyone, because that's what I do._

 _I entered the main building, where I knew Cain's office would be. He's a coward; he'd want more than one line of protection, so logically he'd be smack bang in the middle of his whole operation. Big mistake though, I thought._

 _I've found you Rudolfo._

 _I darted through the corridors, following the trail of corpses and knew that I'd found them. I'd found them all. A grin spread across my face and I pushed the final door open, my eyes falling on Erwin, Levi and Cain. Levi had a gun pointed and Cain's face and Erwin was mid-yell, turning around when he heard me enter. I mean, yeah, I could've just watched form the shadows, but I was on a high. This is the closest to my old life, I've been in a while. I kept my gaze trained on Cain, not wanting to see the disappointment on Erwin's face and stalked towards the man behind the desk. Years of opposition had finally started to piss me off and I wanted Cain to pay._

" _Salem."_

 _I shot a glance at Erwin, who was looking at me with anger and disappointment in his eyes, but I snarled and kept walking towards Cain. That was, until Erwin blocked my path and put his hands on my shoulder. "Stay out of this, Erwin. I want his head."  
"This isn't the way," he replied, looking down at me in anger. I know. I'm not supposed to be here, but this is what I fucking do. Just stay out of this. I don't want to hurt you. "This is not who you are anymore."_

" _Rudolfo Cain deserves to die," I snarled, fighting his grip while Levi watched on. What? So, he doesn't have anything to say either? He's the one that got me down here. "And I'm going to kill him, Sir."_

" _Levi."_

 _Another pair of arms grabbed my waist and started dragging me backwards. "Get off me," I yelled, struggling in his grip and tried to punch his arms away. "I have to kill him. He ruined my life down here. He's killed thousands of my men. Good men. I want his head."_

" _When I told you to come down here," he whispered, using my yells to cover his noise. "I expected you to keep a level head and stay out of sight, brat."_

 _He just doesn't understand. None of them do. Seeing Cain grinning as he watched this whole ordeal, pushed me over the edge and I thrashed even harder in Levi's grip. For fucks sake. Why is he so strong? Get the fuck off me. "Stop struggling, brat," he said in a louder voice, finally dragging me far enough away, that he could turn me around and grasp my shoulders tightly. "Get a hold of yourself, Cadet. This isn't the time or the place."_

Joining the other graduation Cadets in their lines, I stood proud next to my fellow comrades and friends and waited for Erwin to give his speech. I made eye contact with Eren and I grinned at him, with him responding with his own smile. C'mon Eren. Be proud. This is your moment. You did it. You made your mom proud. You made everyone around you so fucking proud.

"Graduating Cadets," Erwin said, his voice booming over the silent courtyard. Dok and Pixis stood either side of Erwin and they addressed us all. Scouts lined the courtyard and it definitely felt like all eyes were on us. "After three years of training, the time has come to choose where your heart and desires lie. The Survey Corps, The Garrison and The Military Police. As you know, only the top ten graduates are permitted to request to join the Military Police and the top ten are as follows."

Erwin went down the list, earning a grin from me when he announced my name second. I saw Mikasa look at me when my name was called, but I just shrugged, mouthing that she was now officially better than me. This earned me a small grin and we went back to listening to Erwin.

One by one, the Commanders of each division called out their names, with plethora of graduate cadets following them until only those who wished to join the Survey Corps were left. I was impressed. Almost all of the people I'd come to know as friends, had decided to follow the same path as me and we would all be joining the Survey Corps. They all looked down right terrified, some even having silent tears rolling down their face but they were brave. Brave enough to put their lives on the line for the rest of humanity. These were the one in a million people.

"Look on soldiers," Erwin said, his voice booming as he addressed the Scouts around the compound. "These are your new comrades. Our mission for saving humanity is stronger with these soldiers here. Tomorrow you'll get your assignments and work will begin. Good luck."

And it was over like that. I was a Scout. We saluted the Commander proudly and walked to the dinner hall, our new official home until our deaths and we celebrated with food and drinks; a rarity these days.

"Salem," Erwin said, calling me back once almost everyone had gone. Another secret conversation? I'm in demand today. "A moment of your time?"

"You know, you're the second person to ask me that today," I replied, smiling as I stood in front of him. God, he still towers over me. "What can I do you for?"

"I'm so proud of you," he said, a genuine smile on his face. "Over the last three years you've come so far and I'm proud and privileged to know that you chose to join the Survey Corps."  
I grinned and saluted mockingly. "I'm glad I'm still here so you can accept me, Sir."

"Now join your fellow Scouts, Salem. The real work begins tomorrow."

I nodded and saluted, leaving a smiling Erwin, to catch up with Eren and Co. I slid into the bench next to Eren and ruffled his hair joyously. "You did it," I muttered, smiling at him as I snatched a piece of bread form the table.

He raised an eyebrow, something he'd learned from me. "What?"

"Three years ago. You wanted to make your mom proud by graduating the Cadet Corps and joining the Survey Corps. You did it. You made her proud. You made me proud."

We were both smiling at each other and I really took in how much he'd changed. He too, now towered over me and he was older, physically and mentally. We'd come to see each other as brother and sister and I had genuinely come to love him. I would hope he felt the same. I'd be lying if I hadn't been worried about seeing the people I'd come to know as my family going beyond the wall. I didn't want to watch more people die. I almost scoffed at myself and how soft I'd become. We were Scouts now, our destiny was to die beyond the wall. The burden that rested on my shoulders would always be there now, but I also got to see my friends live the lives they've always wanted. They wanted to be soldiers. Saviours and I would protect them until my dying breath.

"Thank you for everything," Eren said, gripping my scarred hand in his own. I returned his squeeze and nodded.

"I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

" _I have to kill him," I replied, still fighting in Levi's grip. My angry yells had become pathetic wails and fruitless attempts to break his grip. "He hurt me. He hurt everyone I know. He has to pay for what he did."_

" _Not now," he replied, gritting his teeth and then he pulled me into his arms, holding me in another awkward hug. "I know he hurt you, brat, but now is not the time."_

 _How the hell had I ended up here again? In the arms of Shorty, fighting his grip because I was uncontrollably angry yet again. None of them understand… why won't they just listen to me? "I just wanted to make him feel how I felt."_

" _I know," he murmured, petting my back hesitantly._

 _Both Erwin and Cain watched on and Levi lead me from the room, depositing me on the ground in the next room and he told me to wait there. I didn't even fight him. I pulled my knees up to my chest and nodded, watching as he walked back into the room where Cain was. I was in shit. Deep shit, yet all I could think about was Levi comforting me and Erwin's disappointed expression. I could leave. Run while they're distracted and re-join Sebastian. Lord knows I've missed him so much. But I couldn't get myself from the floor. I was glued to the spot. I had fucked up once, I couldn't fuck up again. I couldn't bear to put them through it. What the fuck is wrong with me? Can't go one way but won't go the other. Jesus, Salem. Get your act together. You're either the Reaper or you're not. You can't live two lives._

 _The ride back held a sombre mood to say the least. Neither Erwin or Levi had spoken to me since I busted into Cain's territory and despite the glee bubbling in my stomach at the sight of Cain in chains (he was being transported to a prison above ground), that feeling was buried and drowned by the guilt and dread that was swirling in my body about what I'd done. I'd lost my head. Acted out of character for someone who was supposed to be calm and reserved and look where it had gotten me. Fucked._

 _I watched Levi drag Cain towards the holding cell's once we arrived back at the compound, but Erwin spoke one word to me; a word that made my stomach drop and want to curl into a ball._

" _Office"._

 _I followed him like a puppy with its tail between their legs and once we were both in his office, I tried and failed to say something that would make this okay. Erwin was beyond pissed and had every right to be. I couldn't make this okay._

" _I can't have you breaking rules, Salem," Erwin said sternly, watching me with a steely gaze. I don't think I've ever seen him so angry with me. The man in front of me was the Commander. There was no emotion on his face. He was just the Commander. "I've put up with your antics up until now, but the stunt you pulled in Cain's territory, I can't have you doing that. I-"_

" _-Sir," I interrupted, trying to smooth things over but Erwin slamming his fist on the desk silenced me quickly. He'd never gotten angry like this. It was out of character… I'd really fucked up._ _Why doesn't he see I had to do this? I kept my gaze trained on the floor and tried my best not to wince every time he spoke._

" _Stop interrupting," he said, his voice still deathly clam, but his eyes were on fire. My stomach dropped even further and my stomach was churning with guilt. "You're out of control, Salem. Your punishment is as follows-"He's punishing me?_ _"You're on stable duty and you're confined to your room unless you have chores or training."_

 _He's treating me like a child? I couldn't help it when I curled in on myself, pouting like a child and scowling at everyone and everything. He's the boss. Can't dispute his bullshit rules, can I? Anger of guilt, I thought. "Until when?"_

" _Until you're ordered otherwise. You're dismissed."_

 _I shot Erwin a glance and I don't think he could've got me out of the room faster. The expression of disappointment, mixed with frustration and anger wasn't a good look on him. I'm sorry, alright. I'm really sorry._

The walk to my room felt like the longest walk in history. I felt as if everyone was staring at me, knowing what I did, and I just kept my gaze on the floor. Guilt. Remorse. New feelings I hadn't felt in a long time I couldn't make this one better. I had to face what I'd done. I don't think I left my room, even when I had to unless I had training or punishment chores, preferring to keep to myself. I even stopped talking to Eren, who tried to do everything to cheer me up. He hadn't even bothered to ask me about what had happened in the last few weeks; he just said he missed his Salem. That only made me self-isolation even harder. I'd let everyone down.

I think that was the first time I'd regretted staying since I joined. I wanted to crawl into a hole and never leave. Good thing I didn't though. Look at me now. I'm a Scout.

I'm a fucking Scout.

 **And that's it for this one guys! I know it's shorter than normal, but I think from now on I'll be uploading short stories because of my schedule and I'm finding it easier to write less right now. It might change in the future, but I hope you understand. I'd rather write less and be able to upload more, than leave you guys hanging for new chapters.**

 **So, we finally reached a pivotal moment in Salem's life. She's finally a Scout. She did it! I'm really enjoying writing the flashbacks and I hope you're enjoying reading it. I figured this would be a better way to tell her story, without plodding along for ten thousand chapters. Don't forget to leave a like and a review and I'll see you guys in the next chapter.**

 **-TheQueenOfTheWarFlowers**


	12. Pain, suffering and Jesus

' _"_ _You'll never be one of us," Levi spat, standing over me along with Erwin and Eren. They were all dressed in their Survey Corps uniform but looking down, I was in the rags I'd been found in when I was plucked from the Underground and thrown in jail. What? Why are they saying that? I thought we'd moved past this... past the Reaper. "You're nothing but Underground shit, brat."_

 _"_ _Why are you saying that?" I tried to move closer to them, but Levi responded by shoving my violently to the ground. He wouldn't hurt me like that; not anymore. "Stop it, Levi. It's me. It's Salem."_

 _A boot to the face and they started hitting me over and over again, into the ground until my whole body was screaming. I cried out in pain and begged them to stop, but they didn't stop. A glint of silver and Eren bent down and plunged a knife into my gut. My shrieks fell on deaf ears and they their cackles filled my ears and my brain, consuming me._

 _"_ _You'll never be good enough,"_

"Shit!" I yelled shooting from my bed. My hands were on my stomach and I was breathing heavily. What the fuck?

Realising I was in my bed and I hadn't in fact, been stabbed by Eren, I flopped back down on my back and rubbed my face wearily.

It had been a week since I'd officially joined the Survey Corps and I was exhausted. My days were split between training with Levi and the Special Ops Squad and guarding the wall. I hadn't been officially chosen to be in his squad, that came later, but he wanted me training with them as soon as possible. It was a good fit. My days started early and ended late. Sleep was a privilege I couldn't afford, but I almost appreciated the lack of sleep. I didn't dream when I was awake. The last two years had only made those confusing dreams worse and I was no closer to understanding what they meant, and they'd only gotten worse. I was glad that the Survey Corps kept me busy.

Every time I woke up this way, I was left confused and moody and today was no exception. My morning went by in a daze; I was in the training yard by six and after a gruelling six hours, where Levi pushed me and his squad to our limits, I was dismissed and told to get cleaned up.

Meeting the Special Ops Squad for the first time had been nothing short of terrifying. Their skill and teamwork were famous, and everyone knew that Levi only picked the best. I cast the shadow of doubt on myself and I couldn't help but feel like I wasn't good enough… even with all my training as the Reaper. After being introduced, though I expected they knew who I was already, I was given the chance to converse with them and get to know them, before Levi has us training together seven days a week.

After cleaning myself up and changing uniform, I joined the other graduates on Wall Maria, where we were assigned to man the canons. Standing watch on the wall was more boring than I'd expected, and it was almost uninteresting. I was enjoying being able to work through my thoughts and just think while I was up on the wall, only occasionally having to drive off titans that got close to the wall. Being so high up, they didn't look so bad, but I knew that being up close would be a different story.

Eren didn't seem to think the same. I knew he thought he'd be doing more as a Scout, but the thing is, we were new graduates. They weren't going to give us the best jobs straight away.

"Would you stop pacing?"

"Sorry," he mumbled, coming to stand next to me. "I just thought we'd be doing more."

I told you. I patted his shoulder and gave him a small sympathetic smile. "I know, but Erwin needs us here. Someone has to do this job and you are no less important than any other Scout on this compound." I heard him grumble to himself and I raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"It's easy enough for you to say that," he mumbled, and I figured out what this was really about. "You're going to be part of Captain Levi's squad. I'm going to be a nobody."

"You're jealous?"

Another grumble.

"Eren Yaeger. Are you jealous?"

"Why wouldn't I be? You were offered a place in the most elite squad in the Survey Corps and I've been assigned to guard the wall. The god damn fucking wall-" _Yeah, Eren may have picked up a cuss word or two from me over the years._ "- I just thought I'd be doing more than this."

I almost scoffed at his childish behaviour. Sixteen and still acting like a child. He wants to join Levi's squad? Once he was beyond the wall, I think he would change his mind. As honoured as I was for being offered a place, I knew that being on that squad meant only one thing; if I wasn't the best, then I was going to die.

"You're whining like a child," I replied, watching him from the corner of my eye. I could see him clenching and un-clenching his fists and I rolled my eyes. Really, kid? "You're a Scout. A soldier. A member of the Survey Corps. I may be a member of the special ops squad, but you are just as important to the Survey Corps and to Erwin Smith. Today, you're guarding Wall Maria, the wall that protects millions might I add. Tomorrow you could be in titan territory, killing ever titan in the name of your mother. You need to keep your prospective and-"

An almighty explosion cut my sentence short and then I was staring at the face of a titan who must have been at least 60ft tall. The blast knocked us off out feet, hurling us over the side of the wall and quickly sinking my hooks into the stone, I slide to a stop and stared widely around at the others who'd fallen with me. Sasha had Samuel dangling with a hook in his leg, Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean and Connie were dangling close by and I finally got a good look at the titan in front of us. There was no skin on its body, just raw exposed muscles and it was staring at us with giant eyes. What the fuck is that thing? There had never been a titan this big before and it was just standing there, watching us.

Using its distraction, I yelled at Connie and Sasha, who'd been dangling not too far away to find Erwin and get the Survey Corps down here and then I yelled at Armin and Jean to man the canons along with the rest of the Scouts that stood on the wall. We had to protect the city and its people. What I hadn't expected was for Eren to go flying up the wall, animalistic yells escaping his lips as he moved straight towards the titan. Could it be the titan from five years ago? Shit. Shit. Shit.

"Eren," I yelled, hoping he'd stop and think rationally, but there was no stopping him; not now. "For fucks sake!"

I shot after him, climbing the wall until I had joined him on the surface. He was glaring at him angrily and then he was moving again, sinking his hooks into the titan's flesh before jumping from the wall and into nothingness. This kid is going to get me killed.

I followed his lead, sinking my hooks into the putrid flesh of this monster and started swinging around its body, climbing quickly so I could catch up with Eren. "Would you wait up?" I yelled, trying to get him to slow the fuck down but he was moving fast. It had to be the titan from five years ago. "Eren Yaeger I swear to god if you die or I die, I will haunt your ass until the end of time."

If he's not going to stop then I'm going to make sure he doesn't get himself killed. I used the momentum of the swing to propel myself upwards and joined Eren in his attempt to slice its neck. We swung around its head and looked for an opening and the moment I saw one, I dived and brandished my blades ready to kill this thing and then there was nothing. Where the hell had that thing gone? Nothing can just disappear like that!

Realising I was falling, I hooked my anchors into the wall and pulled myself to the top again, ignoring the pain in my shoulder after hitting the wall less than gracefully. The others were there, waiting for orders but there weren't any superiors. If the soldiers guarding the wall had been killed by that thing and we were fucked. Surveying my surroundings, I ran to the edge of the wall and saw that that thing had made a giant hole in the wall; presumably from kicking it and titans were flooding through the gap… into the city. Shit.

"Right," I yelled, drawing all of the soldier's attention to me. Someone's going to have to step up. "No doubt that the Commander knows shit's about to go down in the city, so we have to be there to help him when he gets here. You three-" I said, pointing at Sasha, Connie and another new graduate. "-you take the northern quarter of the city and meet up with whatever squad has been sent down there."

I went down the list, sending soldiers down into the city until only myself, Eren, Mikasa, Armin and Jean were left.

"You four, along with myself are going to take the centre-"

"-you mean where all of the titans are?" Jean said, fear in his eyes as he looked at me like I was crazy.

"Yes, the centre," I replied, checking my gas and blades. "The Commander and the Captain need our help and since you all graduated in the top 10, I assume your skills are valuable for this mission. If you want to stay on the wall and piss yourself out of fear, go ahead but you're a Scout now and the Survey Corps need you."

I stepped up to the edge of the wall, all four of them following behind me and then we jumped, falling through the air until we reached the city skyline. Hooks were sunk into the wall and we went swinging onto the roof of a house. I didn't stop, I just kept running until I joined the squad closest; which happened to be Hange's.

"Squad Leader Hange," I yelled, saluting as the others followed suit and waited for my orders. Hange looked more than excited and the prospect of potential test subjects and could hardly contain herself. "Orders?"

"I'll be splitting you up," she yelled, an excited squeal leaving her lips. "Your orders are to take down as many titans as you can to protect the villagers. We're going to have to find a way to fill the breach. Salem, you'll be leading your own squad. Eren, Armin and Jean you're with her. You're in charge of clearing the western quarter along with the other squads delegated in that area. Good luck."

I nodded and motioned for the three to follow me. My own squad? It only took the potential end of Trost.

"Right, since your mine, I want you to stick close to me. I'm not losing any of you today. Your orders are to complete as much damage control as possible. There is a shit tonne of titans in the city, so we've got our work cut out; so, let's move out."

We took to the skies and started moving through the buildings, avoiding the titan limbs as we moved to take them down. Shifty bastards, I thought as one ducked below my reach and then tried to make a grab for Armin. Luckily for him, he saw it coming and swerved out of its reach in time, but it was close. Is this what Erwin and Levi feel like every time they see their men in the field?

"Keep it tight," I yelled, sparing them a glance and then we moved in for the kill. Armin and Jean kept the titan distracted while Eren and I went for the neck. One good slice and I beat Eren to the kill, narrowly avoiding the steam that erupted from its nape as it crumpled to the ground. "Fuck yeah!"

Killing titans felt good. Really fucking good. I can do this all day! We kept moving, Armin and Jean distracting the titans while Eren and I moved in for the kill – though I noticed that Eren was holding back, leading to me landing all the finishing blows. Why are you doing that, kid? I made a note to myself to bring it up later.

Joining up with another squad, we moved as one through the city and only when I heard Eren yelling wildly, did I turn around to see Eren trying to reach for a man who was being devoured by a titan who'd appeared out of nowhere. "Don't you fucking dare," I yelled, lunging for him to grab his arm. You're not fucking dying today because of someone who's already dead, "Yaeger, keep your focus."

Apparently, my words fell on deaf ears because Eren, in his fury, lunged at the titan and started a solo kill; a kill that he couldn't complete in his anger. The titan moved in slow motion and I just couldn't move fast enough and when I saw that beast's teeth clamp down on Eren's leg and bite it clean off, "Eren!" I yelled, grabbing the back of his shirt before dropping him on a nearby building. His yells of pain filled my ears and ignoring my shaking hands, I used part of his harness to tourniquet the bottom of his leg to stop the bleeding. Oh shit. Oh fuck. His leg is gone. Eren needs to be taken back to headquarters. Fuck. I can't spare any men.

Armin had landed behind me and immediately bent down beside his friend. They were both wailing quietly with each other and I took this moment to assess the situation and figure out what to do. Eren can't keep going, but if I send Armin with Eren then I'll be low on men; and that's if they make it back to head quarts. We're really fucked here.

Another yell tore me from my thoughts and turning around to see Armin in the jaws of another titan made my blood run cold. Not another one. I ran for him, but in a moment of self-imposed heroism, Eren somehow manage to pull Armin out and take his place and then he was gone.

Eren was gone.

The titan seemed to know it had hit a nerve because it pranced off and I couldn't force myself to move to kill it. You need to move, Salem. Why can't I move? Armin's yells filled my head and I turned to look at him; to look at poor Armin. His eyes were wide with fear and despair and he couldn't stop yelling. Move Salem. You need to get Armin out of here.

Wiping at a stray tear that had fallen, I pulled myself together and marched towards Armin.

"Come on," I said, lifting him from his knees. "I need you to move Armin. We need to get out of here." When he didn't move, I shook him in the hopes he'd come to his senses, but this kid was done. It was questionable if he'd ever get over this. "Armin, please. We need to move or we're both as good as dead."

No response. Okay, kid. I've got you. I'll get us out of here. As if the gods themselves, had answered my prayers, Mikasa dropped beside me and eyed the situation carefully. "Where's Eren?"  
"Gone," I replied, grabbing Armin's arm and hoisting it over my shoulder. He was taller than me, but even standing, I could feel his lack of confidence while standing. This kid is going to be fucked for life. I don't even think I'd be able to get over seeing my best friend die in front of me. If Sebastian died… god, I can't even think about it. "I'm sorry, but we need to keep moving. We need to get Armin back to headquarters before he has a heart attack."

I could see it in her eyes, the unspeakable sadness she felt, but at least she kept her head and nodded, taking Armin's other arm.

Before we could even move, there were two almighty roars and the same titan that ate Eren started jerking violently and then another titan emerged from its stomach? What the shit? Titans didn't breed, nor did they emerge from each other's stomachs. What the fuck is going on? The titan that had essentially torn its way out of the other titan's stomach has started screeching loudly and after passing Armin to Mikasa, I pulled me blades out and readied myself to fight it. No way in hell was I going to let that thing touch any of these kids.

"No matter what," I yelled, sparing them a glance as I moved. "You get yourselves back to headquarters and you stay safe and alive. I've got this one covered."

I let all the anger of Eren's death consume me and I stared storming towards the beast. It may have killed the bastard that had killed Eren, but it was still an abomination and it needed to die. I reached the edge of the roof and went to step off, but after letting out his almighty screech, the thing lunged for… other titans? It was ignoring the Scouts around it and was lunging for the titans around it, killing each one it got in contact with. It was killing other titans? What the fuck is going on? There was no documentation ever, of a titan turning on its own kind so why was this one?

I faltered in killing it and watched it storm through the streets, unsure if I should kill it or help it. Both Armin and Mikasa had come to stand next to me and we watched in amazement and horror.

I scolded myself. Now's not the time to get distracted, I told myself. We need to get out of here. "We need to move," I said, turning my back to the titan. "Armin, can you move?"  
His nod was shaky, but it was good enough. "Alright then. Head towards headquarters and I'll guard your rear. Let's go."

Sinking my hooks into the walls, I followed Mikasa and Armin as they moved towards headquarters, but the closer we got, the further away it seems. Armin was lagging, fear consuming his body again and in my concern for him, I didn't notice the 10ft titan round an alley-way directly in front of me.

"Shit," I yelled as I made a last-minute manoeuvre to avoid the bastards grinning mouth. I was thrown into a wall and letting out a loud yell, I was grabbed by the titan and fighting against the hooks I'd sunk into the wall, it played a game of tug of war with me. My body was stretched to its limits and my bones were screaming in protest, but I wasn't going to be killed by this titan today. I owe that much to Eren. What I hadn't expected was for the abnormal to come barrelling towards us both and tackle the titan to the ground. The wall had no chance and I was thrown to the ground in a hail of rubble and tiles.

I think I blacked out for a second or two because when I came around, Armin was kneeling by my side and Mikasa was standing guard.

"What the fuck just happened?"

Shaking the dizziness and pain that was working its way through my body, I pushed myself to my feet despite Armin's protests and found that we were stranded in the middle of a titan-infested city. My gear had taken a beating and as much as I would have loved it to work, I didn't think it was going to. "You need to get out of here. I'll hold them off for as long as I can, but you need to go."

"We're not leaving you," Mikasa replied, shooting me a glance and I rolled my eyes. How fucking naive.

"Enough of the heroics. I am your superior and I'm ordering you to get back to headquarters. Understood?" Armin and Mikasa looked at each other and I shoved them in the direction of the headquarters building. "Move your asses."

I switched out my blades and readied myself to attack whatever titan came my way. I couldn't get out of here, but I sure as hell could give those kids a fighting chance. Fate is a cruel bitch, I thought to myself as the titan that had caused Eren to get killed started walking through the alley towards me. If I'm going down, then I'm taking you down with me.

Ignoring the pain, I charged towards the 15-footer, a guttural yell clawing its way from my lips and then there was a giant foot, billowing steam and I was knocked backwards onto my ass. What the hell's happened now? Two titans lay crumpled on the floor, steam pouring from them and… Eren? No, it can't be. Can it?

I ran towards the steaming pile and sure enough, Eren was sprawled unconscious by the nape of one of the titan's necks with both legs and both arms? No, no, no. Eren was dead. Is dead. He's alive? I fell to my knees by his side and felt for a pulse.

He's alive. He's fucking alive.

Which meant… Eren was that abnormal titan? Humans couldn't be titans though, could they? Too many questions. I'm losing my cool. I can't do this. Armin and Mikasa were by my side, but I couldn't hear a word they were saying; just the beating of my own heart. I stumbled to my feet and started walking; where I don't know, I just needed to breathe. I needed to process what the hell has just happened. I didn't get far when a pair of hands grabbed me by the shoulders and Jean came into view. Jean? His mouth was moving but nothing was coming out; or I didn't hear it and then everything went blank and I crumpled in his grip.

 _"_ _Why isn't it working?" A man's gruff voice said._

 _I forced my eyes open and blinked at my surroundings. Where am I? I was standing in a dark room and there were men everywhere and my mama? I called out to her, but she didn't answer. She didn't even look at me. She was too busy looking at someone on the table in front of them all. What are they staring at?_

 _I moved to get a closer look and they were staring at a child? A little girl. This girl's eyes were closed, and her chest was heaving up and down rapidly, like she couldn't breathe. She kept calling out for her mama and no one was helping her._

 _"_ _It's okay," I said trying to calm her down, though nobody heard me. "What are you doing to her?"_

 _The same man who's spoken went in with another needle and started poking her pale skin. What are they doing to her? They're hurting her. "Stop it. You're hurting her. Leave her alone. Please, stop it."_

 _My cries fell on deaf ears and then everything was falling apart. I was being dragged into the darkness and nobody could hear my screams._

My eyes are burning. Where's that light coming from? Opening my eyes slowly, I blinked and saw that I was in the infirmary. What happened? Looking down, I was still in my filthy uniform, blood and dirt and all and then I remembered what happened. "Eren."

I slid out of bed, ignoring the dizziness that imbalanced my world and started walking towards the door. I had to find him. I had to make sure he was okay.

"Where do you think you're going?"

I was turned and pushed towards the beds and I rounded on Hange, who was staring at me with a grin on her face and concern in her eyes.

"What happened? Where's Eren?"  
"Slow down," she said, guiding me back to my bed and waited for me to sit down. I did so, hoping I would get answers quicker if I did what I was told and Hange started examining me. "Eren is fine. Well, no. He's been locked away in the dungeon because no one can explain how he transformed into a titan, but that in itself is magnificent. He's a titan, Salem. Isn't that wonderful?"

"Wait- they locked him up? Erwin- I, uh, mean the Commander and Captain Levi locked him up? Why would they do that?"

"He's dangerous now," Hange replied, writing something down on her clipboard. Eren wouldn't kill anything that wasn't a titan. I know he wouldn't. "No one knows if he'll transform again, or if he'll kill one of us this time so in the dungeon he goes. Execution is on the cards too. Isn't that exciting?"

I couldn't hear anymore of Hange's rambling and I pushed myself from the bed and ignoring her yells to come back, I marched towards Erwin's office. I wasn't going to let any of them touch Eren. They'd have to get through me first. I didn't bother knocking when I reached his door. Rather, I just barged in and glared at them all; Erwin, Levi, Mike Zacharius and Dok. "You can't kill Eren."

"Salem," Erwin replied, concern in his eyes. "You should be in the infirmary. You took some impressive damage on the field today, you should be-"  
"-you can't kill Eren, sir. He's a good soldier. He isn't dangerous; he was helping-"

"-Shut up, brat," Levi chimed in, his voice void of emotion, but there was something on his face. Concern? Anger? Possible both. "Get back to the infirmary."

I shook my head. "Not until you promise me that Eren Yaeger lives".

Levi sighed heavily, and Erwin nodded and then I was being dragged out the room by a pissed off Captain. I fought his grip until he shoved he into a wall and stood in front of the door. "You need to calm down, brat."

"Promise me that Eren won't be executed."

He rubbed his eyes and gave me a pointed stare. Why is he so calm? He's seen Eren. He knows that he wouldn't hurt anyone. "Are you done?"

"I don't want to watch him die."

He rolled his eyes. "Will you shut the fuck up, Salem? You're being irrational and frankly, quite annoying. Try to keep your wits."

"Keep my wits? Hange said-"

"-that's squad leader to you-"

"-does it really matter? Eren is in the dungeons and she said execution was on the cards. Eren doesn't deserve to die. I won't let you kill him, Captain. I don't want to watch him die."

My ramblings only seemed to annoy Levi, who ran a hand through his hair and then he grabbed my shoulders and slammed me into the wall. "Calm the fuck down, brat. The Survey Corps have no intention on seeing Yaeger executed and if you'd stop rambling for two seconds, I would have explained that to you five minutes ago."

Levi's too close. His nose was almost touching mine and I could see the anger in his eyes. Eren isn't going to be executed? But Hange said- A wave of dizziness hit me and if it hadn't been for Levi holding my shoulders with an iron grip, I had no doubt I would have ended up on the floor. "What now, brat?"

My vision was swimming and Levi was talking, but I could only hear one long groan. What's happening? I can't hear you, Levi. I can't hear anything. More shaking and more dizziness and everything went blank.

What the fuck?

 **Another chapter complete. We're finally getting to see Salem as a Scout. I'm enjoying writing these chapters and have big plans for the next one - *cough* LeviXSalem *cough*. I wish I could upload more, but semester 1 is over soon, so I'll be able to do more writing over Christmas. If you enjoyed this chapter/story, don't forget to leave a review to let me know what you like and what you don't. Until next time.**

 **-TheQueenOfTheWarFlowers**


	13. I'm bitter and I won't stop whining

13

 _One month, three weeks and four days had passed since Erwin had put me on punishment and Cain had been thrown in a cell. During that time, I stuck to my room, only leaving to clean and to attend my training. I kept my head low and avoided everyone that wasn't Eren, understanding that they all knew what I had done; that I had fucked up epically this time. Even Erwin had been avoiding me. He didn't call for me or engage in conversation when we crossed paths, choosingto walk straight past me without a second glance. This only made the pain and the guilt I felt deep in my gut worse. Levi was mad at me too, or… mad wasn't the right word to use. He looked more disappointed every time he laid eyes on me and I could only imagine he felt this way because sending me down there had probably been some sort of test; and I'd failed 100%. I'd let them all down and what for; a pathetic revenge plot?_

 _I hadn't told anyone though that Levi had been a part of the whole disaster. I think the Captain thought I would, maybe to get back on Erwin's good side, but I wasn't a snitch and I didn't see the point of getting him in trouble too. Erwin has asked if anyone else had known or helped me get to the Underground, but I kept my lips sealed shut and shook my head. I fucked up, but I could at least do something right and keep Levi from Erwin's current wrath._

 _Cain's trial had begun a few days after he was caught, and both the Captain and the Commander were up to their necks in trials and paperwork. I wasn't trusted to be present and was rightfully banned from attending. Eren sometimes went when he had a free day and would keep my updated, but other than that, I was kept in the dark about the whole situation. That pissed me off, but what the fuck was I going to do about it? I couldn't use my Erwin privilege anymore._

 _Having been called to Erwin's office after this much time, left me feeling uneasy and unsure. He'd had my case repealed once, but if Dok had found out about what I did, then I was fucked. There was no going back from this._

 _I fidgeted nervously in my seat while I waited for Erwin and kept my gaze trained to my lap. If this was it, if I was going back to prison then I wasn't going to fight it. Not anymore. I stared at my scarred hands, feeling each crevice and bumps of the pink skin and thought back to when I was first brought here. I was a completely different person now, but I almost wished I could go back to the days where my biggest worry was pissing Levi off. When I heard the door handle move and the door itself open, I cringed and closed my eyes. This is it._

 _"Salem."_

 _Another cringe when I heard his voice and I finally gained the courage to look at him. He walked through the room and took a seat behind his desk. I could almost pretend it was just another one of our late-night meetings. I wasn't expecting the small concerned smile that graced his lips._

 _"Good afternoon, Sir," I said through gritted teeth, trying my best to appear at least a little human. Smile, Salem. "You wanted to see me?"_

 _"How are you?"_

 _"I'm doing well, Sir." He raised an eyebrow, but I kept smiling. I deserve this, it's okay. "How can I help you?_

 _He sighed and rubbed his eyes wearily. "This is my fault. Salem, I called you here because I want to apologise-"_

 _"-apologise? Why would you need to apologise?" I couldn't hide the incredulous tone in my voice. He'd done nothing wrong. Not now. Not ever. I'd fucked up. Still I could see the concern on his face._

 _"I was too harsh on you," he continued, watching me carefully. Harsh? "I should have known-"_

 _"-please stop."_

 _I didn't mean for my voice to sound to weak and pathetic, but I couldn't take it. "Please don't try and apologise for my mistakes. I fucked up. You gave me orders and I ignored them and went behind your back. I should be the one apologising to you, and I don't even deserve to be able to do that. I couldn't control my emotions and I put everyone in danger, so please don't apologise for my fuck up. And I'm so sorry for what I did. It was reckless and stupid and if I could take it back, I would, but life doesn't work like that. I can only try and make it up to you."_

 _By then end of my speech, I was staring at him with a gaze that mirrored Eren's usual look of determination and I nodded, reaffirming what I had just said. I had to own up to mistakes. I had to want to try and make a change within myself, if I was ever going to make someone proud. Erwin didn't say anything, but the turned-up state of the corners of his lips made all the difference. The air was cleared and though I still had a lot of work to do to earn back the trust he'd given me, I was on the road to forgiveness._

 _"Cain was found guilty," Erwin said, catching me completely off guard. I stared at him wide-eyed and my mouth opened and closed like a fish, but I couldn't find any words. "He was charged for almost every crime he was accused of. An anonymous source sent in hundreds of written letters of his victims; it was enough to put him behind bars for the rest of his life."_

 _An anonymous source?_

 _Sebastian._

 _He'd done it. Finally taken Cain down after all of this time. I chuckled quietly to myself and ran a hand through my hair. Cain faced the Reaper, as so many others had done and they'd all met the same fate. The Reaper was unbeatable, and Cain would pay with his life._

 _. . . . ._

I feel like I've been smacked in the head by a brick. Was I smacked in the head by a brick? I don't fucking remember anything. What happened this time? I groaned and opened my eyes; back in the fucking medical wing. My favourite place."Hange?"

In the quiet, my yell echoed loudly, and the glasses-clad woman came running in seconds. "You're awake," she squealed, grabbing the clipboard from the end of my bed. "You've been out for days. How are you feeling?"

I've been unconscious for days? "Like shit," I replied, eyeing the door behind four-eyes. She cottoned on to what I was looking at and shook her head.

"Nuh-uh. You're not leaving here 'till I say so, missy. You took a real hit on the field last week and then blacked out again after escaping the medical wing. You're lucky Levi carried you here otherwise who would have known how bad you could have gotten. Erwin has given strict orders to keep you here until further notice so get comfortable; you're not leaving for a while. At least until I can figure out what's going on in that pretty little head of yours."

My head? What the fuck is she talking about? And Levi carried me here? I'm too tired to argue with her – I just don't want to have to stay here. This place is a fucking nightmare. I listened to her drone on and on and then it hit me… Eren was a titan. After everything that had happened, I had forgotten this tiny detail that changed everything.

Eren Yaeger was a fucking titan.

"Hange."

She kept running her mouth.

"Hange!"

"What is it, Salem?"

"Eren is a titan, isn't he?"

She nodded.

"How can he be a titan? A human shifting into titan form – has that ever been documented before?"

"Never."

On that solemn note, Hange excused herself and I was left to my own thoughts. Eren was a titan… My Eren was a titan, and even though I knew I should have hated him for what he was – I couldn't. He would never hurt me or any other human and everyone needed to know that. If the Survey Corps couldn't guarantee his safety, then I would have to watch him die. I couldn't do that… not again.

I don't know how long I laid there, running through question after question until I couldn't stand to be still any longer. Hange wasn't anywhere in sight and I knew she'd kill me if I left the medical wing, so I chose to pace the room instead. At least this time my uniform had been removed and replaced by a white gown. There were purple and red bruises covering my skin and a few scrapes here and there. My shoulder ached like a bitch and my head throbbed angrily, but I kept walking. I had to do something to keep my mind occupied. The cold floor felt soothing under my exposed feet and I let out a frustrated sigh. Everything had been running smoothly for two years and now everything had gone fucking side-wards again. Fate has a personal vendetta against me, I thought.

"What are you doing out of bed, brat?"

Not today. I can't fucking deal with him today. I ignored him and kept walking. Maybe if I don't acknowledge him, he'll go away. Wishful thinking.

"Salem?"

Concern. It didn't suit him. The Captain was a cold and cruel man and here he was, concerned over little ole me. "Concern doesn't suit you, Sir."

He scoffed. "I wouldn't have to be concerned if you just listened to orders once in your damn life."

He didn't try to stop me; instead he took a seat by the table and watched me pace. Why's he even here? Doesn't he have more important things to do than babysit me? "Can I help you Sir?

"Sit with me." What? I stopped pacing and watched him. He looked tired, understandably so and yet there wasn't one thing about him that was out of place. How does he do it? "Sit with me, Salem. I want to discuss something with you."

Curiosity got the better of me. I climbed onto the bed and sat cross-legged in front of him. "What?" He raised an eyebrow and I quickly changed my tone, "I mean yes, Sir?"

"You've blacked out twice in less than a week, brat. Hange can't figure out what's wrong and she can't say if it'll happen again-"

"-are you kicking me from the special ops squad? Better yet, the Scouts entirely?"

Are they going to get rid of me that easily? I found myself ringing my hands anxiously and I couldn't look at him. After all this, I was done? I was brought out of my pointless worrying by Levi, who'd snorted loudly and raised an eyebrow. An almost emotion, I called them. This ignited annoyance within me and I copied his eyebrow, arms folded across my chest and I glared at him. "Did I say something funny, Sir?"

"More like idiotic. Erwin isn't kicking you from the Scouts, nor am I kicking you out of the special ops squad. Why would I waste such talent on a pathetic head injury?" Well that hurt. "You are however, going to stay on bed rest for the next week and when Hange's finished running her tests, re-join the special ops squad as a full-time member. "

What? A full-time member? I was officially part of squad Levi? "Why? What? After everything that happened?" He nodded. "Are you insane?"

"Watch it, brat. I'm still your superior. You showed great leadership skills and a willingness to fight unseen in many of the Scouts in this compound. I want to use that in my squad, but again, you run your mouth and create scenarios that only consider the worst outcomes. I told you two years ago you were a good soldier, and you still are. Reckless and idiotic, but a good soldier."

A compliment? The Levi Ackerman had once again, complemented me. I wanted to laugh, to poke and rpod that he did actaully have emotions, but the sickening swirl inside my stomach kept me rooted on the spot. I slumped backwards on my bed and let out a pathetic whimper. My world is spinning uncontrollably, and I'm just being flung along. Rubbing my eyes wearily, I turned to look at Levi, who was staring at me with an eyebrow raised.

"What's wrong?"

I shifted on my bed to look at him. "Wrong?"

"I've known you long enough to know when something is bothering you," he replied, and I was reminded of how observant he was. He doesn't miss shit in this compound. "So spit it out, brat. What's bothering you?"

Concerned Levi was more terrifying than angry Levi. At least when he was angry, I knew what to expect. I'd never seen him act this informal before, or with an almost considerate tone in his voice; similar to the nigh we spent in the abandoned house.

"Everything is bothering me," I managed to say, fidgeting under his gaze. "How can everything be bothering me, and yet I can't say specifically what's wrong. Eren is in prison and a fucking titan. How did we miss that? The wall was breached. That colossal titan; how can something that big even exist? Everything is upside down and I'm winning the race for most useless right now because I'm stuck in a fucking hospital bed because apparently my mind is on fire and no one knows how to put it out."

"Seems you've figured out what's bothering you-" I shot him a glare and he held up his hands as an apology, though I didn't miss the small smirk that graced his lips. Trust him to enjoy the suffering of others. Was I really surprised though? "-that not being the point, brat. Being here doesn't make you useless. Being hear means you have the determination to get better, to figure out how we can help you and once Hange's done that, you'll be back out in the field and you'll be ready to take the beast that breached the wall down. You have my word."

I think this is the most I've heard him speak.

"And what about Eren?"

"He's due to be in the courts by the end of the week. The Military Police want to see Eren executed, Erwin has other ideas, but you're not qualified to know more that that."

What? Oh, come on.

"Not even-"

He shook his head. "You don't get to know, brat and that's final."

I huffed. My Erwin privilege is showing, but I trusted them both to do what was best for Eren. A lot of people saw Erwin as this monster who would sacrifice whoever, whenever for the cause but that wasn't the truth. Erwin saw Eren as he was; a child and a good soldier and that was worth saving.

"How is he?"

"Upset."

"Can you blame him?" I replied, a frustrated note to my voice.

"His suffering will be worthwhile once his trial is over," he stood, and I took this to mean he was leaving and in the last moment, Levi pulled an envelope from a pocket and dropped it on my lap. "This came for you while you were unconscious."

And then he was gone. Great talk, Sir. At least my worries were soothed, even if only slightly. I knew who the letter was from straight away by the S crest that sat in the middle of the white. It had been a while since me and Sebastian had been able to write to each other; a year and half to be exact and all because of the raid on Cain's territory. The MP's got dangerously close to the base and they had to go way underground, meaning he couldn't talk to me or anyone else for that matter. To have a letter from him in my hands meant that they were finally able to resume business as usual. The MP's had failed to find them. That thought alone, made me chuckle to myself and I tore the letter open and started reading.

 _Dear Salem,_

 _It's been a while. I hope that you get this letter. You might have made a move, or been moved or… I can't think like that. You're strong, so I know you're out there and you're doing okay. I'm sorry I didn't write sooner. I would have if I could, but it was just too risky. I have to protect what you started, eh? The raid led the Military Police straight to us. We almost got caught and had to pack up and shift the business to the backup compound, but luckily, we had a heads up._

A heads up? How could he have possibly known the Scouts were down there and that the MP's were out for the business? So, Sebastian walking towards the South, it was a ruse to confuse anyone who knew about the raid?

 _We got out mostly okay. We lost a couple of men while moving, but we got out relatively unscathed. MP presence has been at an all-time high for the last year – they've been looking for us, Salem. We've really had to be careful this last couple of months and even surfacing now is risky, but the business needs to keep going. I have to keep your legacy somehow. I also have big news._

 _Kori is pregnant._

 _I'm going to be a father! I mean, I know it's risky considering the circumstances, but she's pregnant and I couldn't be happier. I wanted to tell you sooner, but well you know how risky it is sending these letters. I wanted to call her Salem if it was a little girl, but Kori said that having one Salem was enough-_ I chuckled and wiped a stray tear that had fallen _. – If it's a boy, I thought Alec might fit. I wanted to figure out a way to remember them; you have yours and now I have mine. I can only hope my kid grows up to be half the men and women our family was to us._

 _Kori says hi, by the way. That she misses you and hopes you can one day meet our kid. I want that too. You really did call it; about me and Kori I mean. I should really listen to you more often. I wish I could write for longer, to tell you everything that's happened in the last year, but I've got business to attend to and the MP's have been sniffing awfully close to our business. I love you, sis._

 _I'll write soon, I promise._

A whirlwind of emotions sat on my chest, but the grin on my face meant that happiness was in control. He's safe. Kori is safe. They finally shifted their asses and admitted their feelings for each other. I would forever hold that over them both. I chuckled and folded the letter up. She's pregnant. Sebastian is going to be a father. Words couldn't describe what I felt in that moment. If our family was watching us from wherever they were, I hope they're proud of what we've done and what we've accomplished.

I spent the rest of the day basking in the emotions swirling around my head and tried to catch up on sleep, knowing that after today Hange's experiments would probably hinder my sleeping schedule somehow.

 **Hey everyone... I know it's been a while and I really should have had this chapter up sooner, but the words weren't flowing from my head to the paper and I actually left this story for a bit, to come back with a clear head so to speak. It worked. I'm really sorry for making you all wait, but I hope it's worth it. I also know this chapter is a little bitter shorter than normal, but hopefully I'll have another upload for you in the next week or so (don't hold me to that, though). We're finally learning more about Salem has come to be the person she is today and I hope you're finding it interesting to read.**

 **I also wanted to take a moment to thank each and every person who's followed, favourited and reviewed this story. You all mean the world to me and I wanted to thank you for taking the time out of your days to read my writing. Your comments and even just your follows really push me to write and I really hope I can make something that you'll enjoy and find worthwhile. I just wanted to get that out there because I really do appreciate everyone who reads this story; like it or not.**

 **That's it from me for now, but hopefully I'll be back soon. I hope you all have a wonderful day wherever you are and I'll see you in the next upload.**

 **-TheQueenOfTheWarFlowers**


	14. Ass in the air because I just don't care

**I know, it's been a hot minute since I last uploaded. In fact, it's been over two months and I really wish I had a good excuse as to why I essentially abandoned this story, but I don't. I was struggling to find the inspiration to write and I was dealing with a few personal things, but I should have at least let you guys know. I can't make up for the time lost, but I'm back now and I'm ready to work hard and write for you again.**

 **I also wanted to thank everyone who's reviewed, followed and left a favourite on this story. You all mean the world to me and I'm so grateful that you're interested in reading my writing. So here's a new chapter, dedicated to every single person who's read or is reading this story. You're all a writers dream. Until next time.**

 **-TheQueenOfTheWarFlowers**

Three days had passed and Hange was elbow deep in my head. Test after test, and we were no closer to figuring out what was wrong with me. Each set of results that yielded nothing made me groan in frustration, but only served to excite Glasses even more.

"This means another test," she would yell, her voice filled with glee and then she'd go running, coming back with every new contraption she could get her hands on. Today's agenda consisted of Hange using a series of electrocutions through wires attached to my head; to see if she could trigger any sort of reaction. "There'll probably be some sort of discomfort. Nothing to worry about though."  
I eyed her cautiously, knowing the nervous grin on her face said otherwise, but I kept my mouth shut and let her stick the wires onto my head. "You're awfully eager today," I commented, slumping back on the bed I was sitting on. Of course, she was eager every day because she was Hange, but it finally felt right to comment on it. "I know you enjoy putting people in painful situations, but at least pretend you don't find this amusing."

My "friendship" with Hange had just sort of happened. Countless trips to the medical wing had made it so we'd spent a lot of time together and the rest, as they say, was history.

"I just find brains so satisfying," she continued, turning her machine on and I closed my eyes, waiting for the pain to begin. "It's not often I get to examine a live one. Now, you'll feel a small sting, but nothing major but just let me know how you feel. If you black out or react in some other way, feel free to let me know."

The moment she flicked the switch, my head was hit with wave after wave of pain and I gripped the sheets tightly to stop myself from cursing at her. I grit my teeth and clenched my eyes shut, questioning how much longer she was going to abuse my brain, but at least I wasn't blacking out. This is good, right? This has to be good otherwise all this pain and exhaustion means shit. "This is hurting like a bitch," I spat, breathing heavily to control the pain.

She seemed satisfied with the first round, because seconds later she flicked the switch again and I was a panting mess in the middle of the bed. Jesus Christ, Glasses.

"How did that feel?" I shot her a glare and she giggled to herself. Get fucked, Glasses. "Ready for round two?"

Jesus Christ.

"Nothing," Hange whined, staring at her countless charts with despair clear on her face. "There's nothing wrong with you brain. It's a perfectly healthy organ. I don't know what to tell you."

There's nothing wrong with me? I watched Hange disappear, grumbling to herself and I decided that it was confirmation enough that I was allowed to leave. Finally! I slung my chains that had been sitting on the bed-side table ever since I was brought in over my chest. I pulled my hair from my face and deciding I was presentable enough, I left the medical wing and made for my room. I wanted to have an hour-long shower, to wash away the medical wing scent and to get out of this ridiculous hospital gown Hange had me in. I want to feel a little less useless than I did right now and that started with cleaning myself and causing havoc.

Once I was clean, I changed into a fresh uniform and headed straight towards Erwin's office. I needed answers about Eren and the breach, and I wasn't going to stop until I got them. If I was lucky, Erwin might even let me visit him. When I got to his office, I knocked and waited for him to answer and once I heard his 'come in', I let myself in and sat down on one of the chairs.

"Salem," he said, regarding me with a small smile. "What a pleasant surprise. How're you feeling? Squad Leader Hange informed me nothing came of the tests."

I nodded, "I'm perfectly healthy, Sir." My forced smile raised questions and I dropped it eagerly. No point in bullshitting him. "I'm doing okay, Sir. Tired more than anything. I came here to-"

"-to ask about Eren Yaeger?"

I nodded, and he smiled with an almost pitiful look in his eyes. "He's being kept in a cell Underground for the time being. A precaution as he doesn't show previous knowledge of his presented abilities. We go to trial in three days against the Military Police. I'll do my best to protect him, Salem. I don't think he's the monster the street talk is making him out to be."

I let out a sigh I didn't know I was holding. Erwin is on our side too. This is good, I thought to myself. Erwin can get us out of this… can't he?

"Can I see him?"

He shook his head. Really, Erwin? Are you really going to make me beg?

"Please, Sir. I'll-"

"-there's nothing I can do, Salem. However, I am aware that the guards will be rotating shift any moment now and there will be a momentary absence outside Cadet Yaeger's cell."

You sly bastard.

I all but ran down to the dungeons, throwing a 'thank you, Sir' over my shoulder and once I was down there, I watched the guard on shift until it was time for the switch and once I was sure we were alone, I crept out of the shadows and towards his cell.

"Eren?"

God, he looked like shit. I knelt by the bars and looked at him; really looked at him. He'd been crying, tears staining his cheeks and he was handcuffed to the wall like a fucking animal.

"Why are you chained? You're already in a cell? Do you really need-"

"-get away from me," Eren yelled, pushing himself as far as he could away from me. Why would he? "I don't want to hurt you, Salem. Get away!"

Oh.

"I'm not going anywhere, kid."

He stopped for a moment to look at me, with tears and fear in his eyes and my stomach sunk, but I forced a small smile and put my hands through the bar. "Come here. You're not going to hurt me, and you know that."

It took him a moment to move, eyes blazing with fears and questions, but then he pushed himself away from the wall and shuffled towards me. When he was close enough, I clasped his hand in my own and squeezed gently.

"Don't you might-"

"-Eren, you're not going to hurt me or anyone else in this compound. What you are, doesn't define you and anyone who's ever met you should know that. You should know that. Have faith that Erwin will get you out of here and you can re-join the Survey Corps. Everything will go back to the way it was, you just have to have faith in us." Even I flinched when I mentioned that everything would go back to the way it was. I knew that was never going to happen, but I needed him to believe he had hope. If Erwin… if Erwin couldn't secure Eren, god I can't think like that. I leant in closer and lowered my voice. "After your trial, if Erwin can't… if the outcome is not what we expected, I'll come get you. I promise. We can go to the Underground; I can keep you safe down there. I won't let them hurt you, kid-"

"-what are you doing down here?"

Shit. The guards hand came down on my shoulder and I gave Eren's hand one last squeeze before I was dragged away.

Busted.

"Hands off," I hissed, violently shaking the guard's hand from my shoulder and I left the dungeon, heading towards my room. At least I've seen him. He's alive. He looked like shit and I knew if he got out of this, he'd never be the same, but he was alive.

By the time I was in my room, I was angry and frustrated and to solve my woes I began to pace. What the hell is going on? Everything had been fine for two years and now everything decides to go tits up? One foot after another, I stomped around my room until my feet started to ache and I noticed the dryness of my throat and the grumble in my stomach. How much time had passed? Doesn't matter, I told myself. I had to start planning. I had to make sure Eren got out of this place alive; scout or not.

I spent the night writing and planning, packing any essentials I thought we might need and scouted the route we'd take if we had to run. I wasn't fully confident in my plan, but it was better than watching him die and if we got caught and then I'd take the fall. I didn't really feel like sleeping and I knew that trying would be pointless. Tomorrow couldn't come soon enough.

The morning had gone by in a blur. Training with the Special Ops Squad went ahead as usual, though I noticed Levi holding back when it came to our sparring. Lately he had been personally sparring with me and he was ruthless. But today, he was almost holding back. Maybe he knew my mind was somewhere else, but I half expected him to start yelling each time I was easily flipped and shoved into the ground. He didn't. He just offered a hand and watched me with his steely eyes.

When training finally finished, I ran to shower and change and marched down to the courts where Eren's trial would be held. I'd gotten permission from Erwin to able to attend, though I half expected him to deny my request and took my seat next to Mikasa, Armin and Jean. They all looked just as worried as me and I wanted nothing more than to assure them I wasn't going to let Eren go down without a fight, but jeopardising my mission wasn't on the cards today.

Quiet chatter filled the room as we waiting for the Judge and when he finally arrived, silence fell over the Court and everyone looked to him. Erwin, Levi and Dok followed close behind him and then the Judge ordered for the defendant to be brought in.

Eren was brought into the courtroom and I clenched my teeth tightly at how shit he looked and when his gaze found my own, I nodded in solidarity. You can do this kid. I've got your back… always. He was tied up on the post that stood in the middle of the room and then the court's guard's weapons were pointed at him. Mikasa tensed beside me and though I kept my eyes on Eren, I reached over and squeezed her leg tightly.

"Cool it," I whispered, hoping she'd stay calm. "You have to play the part right now. Erwin will get him out of this."

"And if he doesn't?" She hissed in response.

"Then I'll get him out of here. You have to trust me, Ackerman. Now more than ever."

I watched her settle back down and once I was satisfied she wasn't going to get in the way, I went back to watching the court in front of me. The judge droned on and the Military Police said their bit. They thought Eren was too dangerous to keep alive and the best course of action was to exterminate him. They weren't even talking about him like he was human. Only when the Judge motioned for the Survey Corps to say their bit, did I really pay attention.

Both Erwin and Levi stood, with Erwin addressing the Judge and the court and I managed to catch Levi's eye, who raised an eyebrow and I frowned subtly. He got my message though. I wasn't happy, and I would raise hell if Erwin didn't get Eren out of this.

"I am Colonel Erwin Smith, head of the Thirteenth Battalion of the Recon Corps," he said, not an ounce of fear in his voice. "Our proposition is as follows; We will accept Eren Yaeger as a formal member of the Recon Corps, and recapture Wall Maria by using his titan power."

The judge turned to Eren after listening to the Priest back and forth with one of the members of the Military Police and addressed him loudly. "Yaeger, let me ask you this: Can you keep fighting for the sake of mankind as a soldier, and also use your Titan power for the same goal? "Yes I can," Eren replied, the familiar determination in his eyes and I stifled the grin that threatened to appear on my face. There was my kid. There was the Eren I knew. The Judge and Erwin went back and forth, adding Mikasa into the mix when the Judge recalled that Eren had lost control and had almost tried to kill her. Not ideal, but I had faith that they'd swing it back our way. He'd lost control momentarily, that was it. He wasn't trying to kill her. When the Judge was done questioning Mikasa, I squeezed her hand and leant towards her. "You did good, kid," I whispered, giving her hand another squeeze. "You brought it back to our side."

"Can we really trust him with the fate, funds, and manpower of mankind?" One MP said, earning many nods and hushed agreements.

"Yeah! He's probably a Titan who infiltrated us disguised as a child! Her too! How can we be sure she's human?" Oh great. They all turned to stare at Mikasa with fear in their eyes, but I just shot their gazes down with my own glare. I fucking dare you to try something. Incompetent in the Underground and incompetent here.

"That's right! We should dissect her just in case!"

For the love of god. Thank god there was outrage from the Survey Corps side, otherwise they may have heard my scoffing in the silence. They were reaching. Surely, the Judge saw that? Or is he just as blind as the rest of them?

My gaze connected with Levi again and he earned a glare from me because he looked… indifferent. Levi fucking no emotion Ackerman is not who we need today. I need him to take charge and show the Judge who was fucking boss here. Eren's life is on the line and he looks like he couldn't give less of a fuck.

"If those with strength don't fight," Eren yelled, clearly agitated and afraid for his comrades and family. This isn't going to plan. "Who will? If you're too scared to fight for your lives, then at least don't hinder me! You cowards."

Eren was yelling and the MP's were on edge. The Priest was yelling, and jury looked petrified. This could be it. This could be the moment I make a mad dash for Eren and attempt to get him out of this shit hole. And then Levi was down in the court, standing above Eren with a scowl on his face. What's going on? I looked to Erwin, who was watching the scene unfold in front of him and I was left more confused than before.

And then Levi's boot came crashing down and Eren's face was pushed into the ground violently.

That's not what I meant when I said take control, Shorty. Mikasa was on her feet and ready to practically rip Levi to shreds, but I stood along with her and forced her to sit back down. She was drawing attention to herself and none of this was going in our favour.

"If you don't sit the fuck down right now," I hissed, glaring at her straight in her eyes. Stop letting your emotions rule, brat. "I'll throw you out of this courtroom myself. They know what they're doing. Don't fuck this up. Do you want that on your consciousness?"

And then it clicked what they were doing. I had to admit, I didn't expect Erwin and Levi to play this route, but it made sense. They needed to show that they had complete control over Eren, and that Eren wouldn't break under pressure. It didn't make watching Levi smash his face into the ground, hurt any less. This seemed to be just enough to get Mikasa's ass back on her seat, but she was red with anger and I knew Levi and Erwin were both going to get an earful later. Eren yelled out in protest, but Levi quickly silenced it with another kick and added a swift punch just to be sure.

"What are you doing?" Dok yelled, looking horrified at this display. In fact, all the MP's and jury looked unsettled and fearful. Is this all it takes to get them scared?

"It's just my personal opinion, but pain is the best tool for discipline," he said, watching Eren fumble with no pity in his eyes. I forget how emotionless he can be sometimes. Another kick, where a loud crack could be heard throughout the now silent court room sounded and Eren was spitting blood onto his lap. "You don't need to be educated by words. You need training. You've fallen low enough that you're easy to kick around, anyway."

Nothing else in the court room mattered. I wasn't paying attention to Mikasa, who had to be restrained by Armin. Nor was I watching the Scouts and Military Police around me. The only thing I could see was Eren and Levi. This was it. The make or break moment. Either Erwin's plan was going to work, or everything was about to get really fucked.

"As I heard it, when he turned into a Titan, he killed 20 other Titans before his strength ran out.

If he were an enemy, he might cause more trouble than that intel's worth." In that moment, Levi looked terrifying. This was the man that became humanities strongest and he was dangerous. He bent down and picked Eren up by the collar of his shirt and held him out for the court to see. "He still can't stand against me though."

A few more kicks and punches and kicks and Eren was a pile of bones on the court-room floor, but the Survey Corps point was proven. Eren could somewhat control his shifting abilities, and the Survey Corps could control Eren. The Judge seemed to agree because after watching the display in front of him, he called the court into order and once he had everyone's attention, he addressed Eren with his verdict.


End file.
